#prayforayah

The year 2015 started off good. We went for a family vacation in Penang in February as one of my cousins got married and I went back to Kuching to visit the in-laws. 

Then it all went downhill from there. Ayah had fallen asleep during one of his dialysis session and had a hypoglycaemic attack where his sugar level dropped to 1.7. He was unconscious for several hours. That was when we discovered that there was also a wound on his right heel and it had blackened. All this while he refused to go to the doctor to get it treated. 

Fast forward 2 months later, he had suffered a stroke which left him speech impaired and right leg amputated up till his ankle. He has got tubes everywhere on his body and his spirit is low. I can tell from the look in his face. Like he is broken. 

It breaks my heart watching him suffer like that. But I believe Ayah is a fighter. Please fight harder, Ayah. We are all here for you. 

Ya Allah.. kami memohon kepadaMu..

Ayah kami sedang menderita sakit, tolong berikan kesembuhan kepadanya ya Allah..

Kerana dengan berkat dan kurniaMu kami berserah segalanya

Ya Allah ya tuhan kami...Ayah memang seorang yang kuat.. tetapi jika ini ujian dariMu...

Berikanlah dia kekuatan untuk menyelesaikan Ujian dariMu ya Allah...

Kami sebagai keluarga, tentu ingin sekali melihat Ayah sembuh seperti sediakala

Ya Allah, semoga engkau menyembuhkan Ayah yang sangat kami sayangi...

Amin

Happy Birthday to Me

I turned 40 a few days ago. F-O-R-T-Y. The big four-oh. They even created a tagline for people who turns 40 i.e. Life begins at 40.

Age is just a number, right? Yada yada yada...I am telling you I can actually FEEL my age. I get tired easily. My legs ache after walking for a few hours especially in a shopping mall. Dont get me wrong. I lurve shopping and dont mind walking if I can get that nice handbag or cosmetics but these days I just feel so tired.

Hubs and I just got back from JB. We visited Legoland and JPO. What do those 2 places have in common? More walking! Geez, I wished they had invented a cool and hip stroller for adults, not like the wheelchair but you know like those cool strollers that people sell on fb for kids. LOL.

You know when you get older you always think about how fragile life is, you start to think about your own mortality, your accomplishments, failures etc. Yes, you feel blessed that God has allowed you to live this long but at the same time you ask yourself what else can you do to make your life better.

I have no children of my own. I am taking care of my 3 year old niece which could be taken away from me anytime by my brother and his wife. I dont know what I would do if that happens. When I see my friends with their own children I do feel a sense of envy. Not the bad kind of envious feelings but the sad kind i.e. like why dont I have one of my own. I know God has His own reasons but as a human being I cant help but wonder about these things.

It is just one of those days I guess where you feel melancholic because you feel so old.

I know I will feel better when I see the little princess at home after I come back from work. She makes me feel better everytime I see her. I love you my dear Sayang. You will always be my special one.

All 10 Nieces & Nephews Of Mine

Sayang

Qistina

(L-R) Fisyah, Aniq, Qis, Iffa, Sayang

Laiq

Sayang

(L-R) Hareez, Rara, Cinta

Ryann

(L-R) Sayang, Cinta, Fisyah

Of Acceptance and Gratitude...

Another Ramadhan has passed and without fail my doa is still the same. I hope Allah heard my prayers and accepted them. Ameen. Hari Raya this year was celebrated modestly. We went back to my hometown in Sg Petani. I miss my arwah Tok Yang and Tok Ayah. Raya is just not the same without them. I pity my parents, uncles and aunties celebrating raya without their parents. Whenever we visit my Tok Ayah's grave my mom will cry without fail. My heart felt so heavy and I pray that Allah bless longevity of age to my parents. I dont think Im ready to lose any of them especially my mom anytime soon. I want her to see me get pregnant, safely give birth and hold my child in her arms before she dies.

 

A lot of good things had happened to me this year, Alhamdulillah. I just got promoted and transferred to a department which is totally alien and new to me. I had to learn from scratch but I am thankful that I have got very helpful colleagues that helped me through the transition. Im glad I dont have to deal with a temperamental boss and same old projects that I fear will not see the light of day. But I do miss colleagues from my previous dept. They keep me sane.

 

I had also attended a certification programme  for 18 days called ASET (Accelerated Skill Enhancement Training) funded by the Human Resources Development Fund (HRDF) under Ministry of Human Resources Malaysia whereby at the end of the programme I can proudly call myself a "Trainer" certified by the CIPD, UK.

 

So yes, this year I have been blessed with good things. I have learned to accept that everything happens for a reason. When Allah takes one thing away from us, He replaced it with other things in return. Only Allah knows best.  

 

My niece Sayang will turn 2 (shes already turning into a terrible 2 now!) in September and I was thinking of throwing her a birthday party. The planning would be a nightmare I think since I dont have much experience or creativity in organising a bday party, let alone for kids. The last one I organised was 4 years ago when my nephew Hareez was 3 years old. Maybe I should ask help from good friends who have had experience in organising kids bday parties.

 

I can't believe we're almost entering the month of September. 3rd quarter of the year has passed and soon with a blink of an eye we'll be celebrating the new year. And every year I would ask myself am I proud of my accomplishment and is there anything that I would change or do better this year. Am I becoming a better muslimah, daughter and wife?

 

I plan to start writing more often. It is going to be slow but InsyaAllah I will try to do it as often as possible.

 

Welcome Back, Sherie :-)

 

Giggle giggle laugh laugh...

My little angel, my cute and funny niece Sayang playing with her brother. I look forward to coming home and smother this sweetiepie with kisses everyday.

Of Anniversary and Birthday

It’s that time of the month again. My wedding anniversary has passed and my birthday is looming. Somehow I find myself updating my blog without fail in February. I guess it is my favourite month.

I celebrated my 5th Wedding Anniversary yesterday. Hubby and I both took leave and we had lunch at Las Vacas, Mont Kiara. Hubby and I always celebrate our anniversaries in moderation. No dining at fancy schmancy place and no super duper expensive gifts being exchanged. This year we are spending our 5th year anniversary in Krabi sometime in March. I am so looking forward to the trip, just the both of us without the nieces and nephew.

I can’t believe I’ve been married for 5 years already. Felt like it was only yesterday that we went for fitting at laser mouth Man Kajang’s place. I can still remember I was trying to lose weight as much as possible to fit into my gorgeous purple wedding dress. I don’t care if people say I’m perasan. I thought I made a pretty good looking bride. LOL!

Hubby and I had gone through so much over the past year. My first pregnancy and miscarriage took a toll on us. 2011 was a very challenging year. Everytime after solat tak penah lekang from my mouth doa for us to be blessed with a child. I’m getting older and the older you get the risks is higher. Allah knows best and this is all dugaan from Him.

I’ve been reading blogs of some of my single and married friends and both single and married people encounters different challenges. It all boils down to commitment I suppose. Single people find it hard to take that step to commitmentville because they’re so use to taking care of themselves and not putting their trust in someone else’s hands whilst married people sometimes find it hard to stay committed to their spouse, the feeling of being taking for granted by their spouse leads them to the arms of a third party. I pray that will never happen to our marriage.

I don’t know what the future holds for me. Whether I’ll spend the rest of my life with my husband, whether I will ever get pregnant and have kids of my own or whether we will adopt one someday. All I know is I’m living in the moment now, I am having fun with my husband, still discovering each other’s eccentricities and loving each other dearly.

Happy 5th Anniversary Yang…may there be many more to come.

I Pray For You..Yes I Do

I came across this song and it made me laugh. Especially the chorus part which I've bold in red...can check out the video on youtube below:-

http://youtu.be/atBg9zLI2bA

I PRAY FOR YOU by JARON AND THE LONG ROAD TO LOVE

I havent been to church since I don’t remember when

Things were goin’ great ‘til they fell apart again

So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do

He said you can’t go hatin’ others who have done wrong to you

Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn

Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them

I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill

I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to

I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls

I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls

I pray all your dreams never come true

Just know where ever you are honey, I pray for you

I’m really glad I found my way to church

‘Cause I’m already feelin’ better and I thank God for the words

Yeah I’m goin’to take the high road

And do what the preacher told me to do

You keep messin’ up and I’ll keep prayin’ for you

I pray your tire blows out at 110

I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend and wake up with his and her tattoos

I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill

I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I’d like to

I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls

I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls

I pray all your dreams never come true

Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car, wherever you are honey, I pray for you.