After A While...

Dear Aliyah, time will heal all wounds. You'll get through this tough time..

After a while you learn

the subtle difference between

holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn

that love doesn't mean leaning

and company doesn't always mean security

And you begin to learn

that kisses aren't contracts

and presents aren't promises

and you begin to accept your defeats

with your head up and your eyes ahead

with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child

and you learn

to build all your roads on today

because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans

and futures have a way of falling down

in mid-flight.

After a while you learn

that even sunshine burns

if you get too much

so you plant your own garden

and decorate your own soul

instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn

that you really can endure

you really are strong

you really do have worth

and you learn

and you learn

with every goodbye,

you learn...

Sibuk bangat!

Gosh! Sorry for not updating the blog. I’ve been quite tied up with work, not to mention the preparation for my engagement and wedding.

We have finally fixed a date for my engagement. It’s on the 17th Dec 2006. Theboyfriend’s parents are flying in from Kuching on the 15th Dec. It will give them enough time to settle in and do some last minute preparation. I’ve already ordered cuppacakes from Superdzu. Will send u the “dulang” later kay, Dzu. It's going to be a very small affair. Only family members are invited. I have not invited any of my close friends. Hopefully they will understand and none of them will "merajuk" with me.

Just came back from Jakarta yesterday. Arrived in KL around 2 am! Stupid AirAsia, there was a delay for about 2 hours! Anyway, went to Jakarta with Mom and Aunt on Friday. We stayed at Ibis Mangga Dua Hotel. The hotel was not bad at all. Plus it was near to Pasar Mangga Dua. Went to sooooooo many places and saw sooooooooo many nice looking “kain”. They were very cheap too. I bought the kain for all 3 occasions i.e. nikah, kenduri on my side and kenduri on his side. Now I just have to find a good tailor to make the dresses.

Thank god we decided to come back on Sunday since President Bush was scheduled to arrive in Bogor on Monday. The security in the shopping complexes in Jakarta was very tight. There were policemen everywhere. Traffic jam was horrible. Was stuck in one for about an hour! And people drove like madmen in Jakarta. The drivers especially the taxi drivers honk all the time, people crossing the road like they’re invincible and I could not fathom anyone having the courage to ride on that 3 wheel car they called a “bajjai”. But shopping there is the best. Plus, we had avocado juice morning, noon and night. Simply delicious!

I’lll post pictures soon kay. I don’t feel so good today. My head is aching, I’m sniffling non-stop and coughing like mad. This is what you call “Shop Till You Drop”!

Later peeps! Eh Pijah, where have u moved your blog to? How come I can’t get access to it?

Fukitol...World.

I think my friend had overdosed on these pills...

I've a friend who keeps whining about how sucky her life is. There is only so much I can take you know.

If you dont like your job, quit!

If you dont like your parents lecturing you on how late you come back every night, move out and get your own place!

If you think your bf is a lying sonofobitch, cut his balls off and feed it to the wolves or simply put an end to the relationship!

I'm not a bad friend. I'll lend my ears for anyone who needs someone to listen to. Ill gladly lend my shoulders for anyone to cry on but if you keep on whining and blaming everyting bad that has happened to you on EVERYONE else but yourself and dont even bother trying to change the situation to make it better then what's the point?

How do you tell someone i.e a friend to stop whining and do something? U can only listen for so long but if everything you say "masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri" then what else can you do?

Selamat Hari Raya Y'ALL!

I will be going for a long Raya break and will be too busy stuffing myself with food (my grandma makes the best rendang...i bet you EVERYONE will say the same thing...hehehe) and watching lotsa crappy e.g. Gerak Khas The Movie or Cinta Mesin Basuh or was it Cinta Fotostat (who cares) and not so crappy (ader ke yang not so crappy?) malay movies like... (oh crap cant think of any! oh wait! those Mamat Khalid's raya movies are not so bad)...Aaahhh Bliss! Makan and watch tv, then makan, then watch tv..Pure Bliss!

I look forward to hari raya every year. This is the time where all my aunts and uncles and not forgetting over 60 cousins (I kid you not! After raya I usually pokai giler) will get together under one roof and the happiest of course would be the kids because they will be getting duit raya. Usually my mom's side yang paling meriah coz my grandparents have 11 children so it's not surprising la that I have over 60 cousins. On the 2nd day of raya my uncle will buat open house and we'll have a "sports day" where there will be events like makan buah epal, tarik tali, tiup gula2 dalam tepung, bawak bola ping-pong etc. It's more for the kids actually. Sapa menang dapat hadiah hamper. As usual yang jadi event coordinator is none other than Yours truly la kan. I'll have to make sure all 60 kids took part in the event and all of them dapat hadiah. Each and every ONE dapat hadiah, mind you. It's a stressful job because u do not want to get in a middle of a fight on who got a bigger or better presents or answer questions like "apesal faiz dapat coklat cadbury tapi syamil dapat lolipop jer? Tak Aci la macam ni!!!" then wails for 30 mins non-stop.

After the game, the kids will usually take a nap (tu pun kena paksa) then at night they will perform some nasyid songs or songs from boyband/girlband (siap ada dance routine lagi kay! hahaha), lepas tu lawan sapa lagi terer. I tell you, masa I kecik2 mana ader semua ni.

Then on the 3rd day we'll go to Penang and visit all my granduncles/grandaunties and then at night pegi makan kat Padang Kota. Oooouuuhh! I have to get them cheap dvds this year at Feringhi. I already know what to buy. Full season of FRIENDS and Sex and The City!!

This year will be my last raya as a singleton. Come next raya it will be Mr. TheBoyfriend and Mrs. Cosmic raya together-gether. Somehow I feel sad coz I know I wont be able to celebrate Hari Raya with my family every year after that...sniff sniff...I always tell myself that i am going to cari anak yatim piatu as a husband coz then he has no kampung to go back to and every year I dont have to worry where we should beraya. Oh well, you dont choose who you fall in love with I suppose. Punyalah tak nak yang outside KL/PJ, sekali dapat East Msia terus. Amik ko!! Theboyfriend tells me that raya in Sarawak is very meriah. You can just go to a stranger's house and they will serve you food and drink, no question asked. Errmm..I dont think ill do that la kan...so i do look forward to experiencing Raya there but at the same time im scared that I would cry non-stop in my room coz i miss my family so much and i just hope my husband understands and not make fun of me.

So dear friends/bloggers, I wish you all Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin, if my writing ader ter-offend anyone or lawak2 I mengguris hati insan-insan kerdil spt Superdzu (sbb I seronok kutuk minah ketot nih...muahahaha..ooppss, see there I go again. Sorry Dzu darling!).

Usually every year I buat open house but tengoklah budget ader ke tak this year, u know with the wedding and all...If I buat i'll invite you guys kay...

African Princess? Moi? I don't think so!

I have this thing with African men. No wait a minute, that doesn’t sound right. African men have a thing for me. That doesn’t sound right either. Let me start over.

I have been a member of Friendster since 2004. That’s where I met theboyfriend. Apart from that I have been receiving tons of messages from African men. Some were lewd, some were weird and some I don’t even understand what the person was trying to say. Whenever I get these messages I would forward them to my fellow colleagues and we would have a laugh and they would tease me mercilessly about how only African men are attracted to me. Like hello???!! I don’t send out vibes that shout, “Oh please marry me and take me into your tribe and let me give birth to 15 children!”

I posted my picture but dammit I don’t look like an African Princess so I don’t know what the attraction is! Below are some of the messages that I had received. It’s only Tuesday (time is craaaaaaaawling). I figure u folks could use a good laugh.

1st message

hi XXXX. my name hany hafes. i from Egypt but now i stay in malaysia in kl . saya boleh cakap maly umor saya 30 tahun saya suka jadi kawan dengan u. saya lagi see u cantik tapi saya nak ask u u have boyfriend or not. kalua ada saya loss good girll. and i think we became kawan. my phone XXX-XXXXXXX

2nd message (Don’t play play...Prince some more! Hahahaha)

Compliments of the day, well i am Prince Micheal , a black race from America, now working in Malaysia, i am 31 yrs old, when i was conducting a search on some profiles here, i did noticed some different on 'ur profile so thats why i have to admire u so much, i am seeking for a serious relationship even marriage, but i have to make sure i choose the right time for it thats why i am here, well i will be very glad if we will know each other more , right now, i will like u to know one thing in Life, age does not matter in any serious relationship as for me, i don't mind about age, all i am after is good heart, well if u know that u are interested with me, and u will be honest and good to me, pls do not hesitate to contact me immediately via my private email address, XXX@yahoo.com or XXX@hotmail.com. Private mobile # XXX-XXXXXXX and pls this number is for u alone and do not joke over it thanks. (Yeah rite! No joke indeed. Hahaha)

3rd message (Another Prince! They keep on coming I tell ya!)

Hello! How are you i am prince Sona.i am presently staying Malaysia, in the city of Ampang but i am a black america.I am black in complexion of about 5 .7 inches.I will like to know well, may be we can really workout a solid relationship. I saw you profile and i got interested in knowing you and also to be your soulmate. you can contact me on yahoo id which is XXX@yahoo.com or also on telephone, my number is XXX-XXXXXXX. Hope to hear from you back, thanks. Prince Sona

4th message

What a beautiful picture u have here, I believe that the life we all are living is so short that we need serious attentions from the opposite sex, That is to say, My life is full of love and i'm looking for someone to share it with. I hope you will also believe with me that AGE ia all about numbers and figures and it gat nothing to do with love and friendship. if you will agree with me, the strong fundation of any relationship is based on trust and mutual understanding between the two partiesinvolved. Let me enlighting you a little more about myself. my name is EBY, and i'm from Africa. i'm 6"3 tall with black hair and brown eyes. yeah least I forget i'm 28years old don't mind the age that is in my profile my friend put it there. i'm single, never marry before. i believe in living life to its fullness and by sharing my joy and pains with that queen that is lacking in my kingdom, who will understand me, whom i'll treat like a queen.

I'm intelligent, easy going,open minded and above all i have sense of humour. if all i have said about myself is what u are looking for, my dear don't fall to drop me a note,so that we will start from there. my e-mail contact is XXX@yahoo.com. hoping to hear from u soon. i promise u, u'll not regret it. i'm in KL to and this is my number XXX-XXXXXXX

EBy

5th Message

i'm happy when i discovered u in one of the website of friendster and i saw ur pic,it was nice and beautiful to me,it made me have interest with u,therefore,i have the privilige and honour to ask that i'm feeling towards u .actually,i'm pat by name originally from africa.presently,in malaysia ok i'm looking for a decent lady to be my friend and as well,to have a good relationships with her definiately,i'm so glad to ur pic also i will be happy for us to know each other as one etc.so how ar u today?may i know u as well. thanks this is my email address XXX@yahoo.com


These are only a handful of messages that I have received since 2005. There are funnier and weirder ones like this Namibian guy who told me he has a lot of money and when I didn’t reply his message he wrote, “I now know money is not everything and that you are not looking for men with money”. Like WHAT THE FUDGE??? LOL!

Holy Moly Guacamole!!!

My parents have finally fixed my wedding date and the venue!! Phew. That is one thing I can cross off my checklist.

I have got less than 3 months to do everything, not to mention loose a kabajillion kilos! Sigh…

Where can I get a good tailor that charges reasonably? Don’t say Radzwan Radziwill coz I cannot afford him. What about the colour and theme? Lilac? Pruple? Oy vey! I can’t decide.

Oh yeah, I wonder if u guys know why my blog address is pruplelillies.blogspot.com. and not purplelillies.blogspot.com. I was in hurry to type “purple” properly and misspelt it. Gobs kan? So now I have to live with “pruplelillies” forever. Unless I move this blog to another address which I won’t even bother coz it’s too much hassle. Got more pressing things to worry about.

I’m digressing. Anyway, I am so lucky to have great friends (you know who you are) who gave me a little push (a lot actually) and made me do a wedding journal. Thanks for wrapping it Nooby! U’re the best!

I feel like this 2 girls right now…OH SHIT!!

The "Eeekkk" Song

The boyfriend sent me this song called “Selimut Hati” by Dewa 19 a while back. I didn’t really listen to it properly then because…well, it is not one of Dewa 19’s most popular song. So this morning he told me that he had e-mailed this song to me again and wanted me to listen to the lyrics. He said that he meant every single thing that was said in the lyrics and that he sometimes feel like it too.

I will produce the lyric for you guys here. I think the song has a very nice melody but at the same time, reading in between the lines of the lyrics I feel bad because I think the boyfriend thinks that I compare him to my last ex-bf, which I don’t! Honest!

Aku kan menjadi malam-malam mu..
Kan menjadi mimpi-mimpi mu..
Dan selimuti hatimu..yang beku..
Aku kan menjadi bintang-bintang mu..
Kan s’lalu menyinarimu..
Dan menghapus rasa rindumu..yang pilu

AKU BISA UNTUK MENJADI APA YANG KAU MINTA..
UNTUK MENJADI APA YANG KAU IMPIKAN..
TAPI KU TAK BISA MENJADI DIRINYA (see what I mean?)

Aku kan menjadi embun pagi mu..
Yang menyejukkan jiwamu..
Dan ‘kan membasuh hatimu..yang layu

AKU BISA UNTUK MENJADI APA YANG KAU MINTA..
UNTUK MENJADI APA YANG KAU IMPIKAN..
TAPI KU TAK BISA MENJADI DIRINYA..

Tinggalkan sejenak lalumu..
Beri s’dikit waktu..
Kepadaku..tuk meyakinkan mu..

Aku kan menjadi malam-malam mu..
Kan menjadi mimpi-mimpi mu..
Dan selimuti hatimu..yang beku..

I want theboyfriend to know that I don’t want him to be someone he’s not. I don’t want to change him (although I did manage to change some of his annoying habits like singing out loud and waving his hands frantically in the air and moving his body in the car while driving. Malu orang tengok okay! But I let him get away with it sometimes, when he’s usually stressed about work).

I want him to know I love him the way he is. I mean that’s what made me fall in love with him in the first place right? I don’t want him to feel insecure about how I feel for him.

How can I assure him that he doesn't have anything to worry about?

My last break-up was not one of those bad break-ups where we can’t even talk or see each other’s face. He didn’t cheat on me and I didn’t cheat on him. We didn’t have a big fight. We broke up because he was of different religion and was not willing to convert. He had a lot of issues. I respected his decision. I don’t hate him. I don’t want to be with someone who is forced to convert just because he wants to marry me. I was angry at him but I don’t hate him. After the break-up, he went off to do his Masters degree in Australia for 2 years. He is now back in KL. He now has a girlfriend and I am happy for him. He calls me occasionally (like once a month) to say “Hello” and I appreciate that.

So you see, I think the fact that I didn’t have a bad break-up worries theboyfriend. I think he thinks it’s abnormal NOT to hate an ex-bf.

Is it normal NOT to hate an ex, isn’t it?