Thursday, December 11, 2008

I Did It My Waaaaaayyyyyyy!

I attended my cousin’s wedding last weekend at the Putrajaya Lake Club. I have to say it is such a beautiful place to hold a reception, next to the lake and all. It was very romantic and the fact that my cousin and his bride arrived at the lake on a boat together with the flower girls and boys made it even more romantic. Sigh…ni yang terasa macam nak kahwin lagi sekali ni…hahahaha…

The bride is an Iranian and during the akad nikah ceremony I saw the gifts or “hantaran” that my cousin had given his wife, which includes 2 candlestick stands placed on the left and right hand side of a very large mirror. I didn’t know what the 2 stands and the mirror signifies but my cousin said that it was customary for Iranian men to give such gifts to their bride. I had to find out and like any normal curious person would do, I googled. Hehehe...

It turns out that the Mirror represents fate and the two candlestick stands or Candelabras represent the bride and groom and brightness in their future. The mirror and two candelabras are symbols of light and fire, two very important elements in the Zoroastrian culture. When the bride enters the room she has her veil covering her face. Once the bride sits beside the groom she removes her veil and the first thing that the groom sees in the mirror should be the reflection of his wife-to-be. However, during the akad nikah there wasn’t any veil and the groom didn’t sit opposite the mirror. So I guess the custom got modernised or something eh?

The reception in Iran is going to be held sometime next year and my mom and aunts are already excited about taking the trip to Iran. I read that for Iranians, marriage is an event which must be celebrated not quietly but with glory and distinction. It is the most conspicuous of all the occasions and is celebrated in the presence of a fairly large assembly. So you can imagine how excited my mom and aunts were of the thought of going to Iran. However, I’m sure it would be more of a shopping expedition than anything else.

Anyhow, back to the reception. The reception was very informal and small. I don’t think there were more than 200 guests. To me it was the ideal kind of wedding as it was only attended by close family members and friends. My mom and dad (being the oldest married couple there) read a very nice poem composed by an Arab poet to the newlyweds and after that the guests had requested my dad to sing for them. My dad being a karaoke enthusiast of course agreed and sang My Way by Frank Sinatra and Widuri by Broery Marantika. I know I know, not quite the right kind of songs to sing at a wedding but it was an unexpected request. Hehehe…

Thinking about my cousin’s reception last weekend and my own wedding reception last year I realised that sometimes not everyone get to have an ideal wedding reception. Receptions are usually held and dictated by the parents of the bride and groom. The bride and groom have little to say or no say at all sometimes due to the fact that they are not the ones who usually fork out money to pay for the reception. That’s why sometimes you see people having 3 receptions, one for close friends, one for family members and another one for friends of the parents.

To me it is a waste of money to have so many receptions but I guess if you have the money to spend and since it is the most important day of your life and you want to have the wedding that you’ve always dreamed of then I guess some people don’t mind spending all that money. However, some people tend to forget that the wedding reception is not the most important part of all; the most important part is the marriage itself. What happens after the reception, after all the guests had gone home and after the presents have been opened is all that matters. It is the start of your journey as husband and wife, the compromise and sacrifice that you have to make for each other. Marriage is not always a bed of roses. There will be times when you just want to kick him in the nut when he did or said something that made you angry. Sometimes you want to make love and he doesn’t and vice versa. Sometimes you want to watch Sehati Berdansa but he wants to watch football live on ESPN.

Whatever your differences are, you have to remember to communicate and talk it out with each other. If one day you wake up and suddenly realised that you have nothing to say to your partner even after he or she said or did something that hurt your feelings or you just don’t care about the fight that you just had with your partner, then that is the day when you should be worried about the marriage.