Tuesday, March 15, 2011

An Open Letter To Michael Buble

Dear Mr. Buble,

I was at your concert on Sunday the 13th March 2011 in KL. I had the best time of my life. You are by far the best entertainer I’ve ever seen. I thoroughly enjoyed your “party” and believe me if you ever come back to KL I will surely get the most expensive ticket because you are so worth every ringgit!

My husband is a big fan of yours. I think I started listening to your music because of him. He told me that when he was in Kuching some years ago he entered a singing competition organised by his company and he sang and danced to “Sway”. He said he listened to your rendition of Sway and loved it. He actually got 2nd place. He showed me the video of him singing and dancing to the song and it was so funny that I still make fun of him till today.

Dear Mr. Buble,

You see, about a month ago I found out that I was 8 weeks pregnant. You don’t know how happy I was to see that 2 blue lines on the pregnancy stick and also the word “pregnant” on the stick. We’ve been trying to get pregnant ever since I got married like 4 years ago. I’ve never gotten that 2 lines before even when I was late several weeks a few times. When I found out I told my husband and we went and bought another 2 pregnancy tests and tested and after that we went to see a doctor and did a blood test. The doctor confirmed my pregnancy and I was over the moon. I didn’t tell many people, just few people who were very close to me. We told our parents and they were very happy because I guess they knew how long we’ve been waiting for this good news.

However, our happiness didn’t last that long. We went for a check-up 2 weeks ago and the doctor said he couldn’t detect a heartbeat and said it was a miscarriage and told me I had to do a D&C. I can hear him saying all this words but I just couldn’t process it at that time. I felt sad, angry and wanted to kill that doctor for telling me the bad news.

Dear Mr. Buble,

The reason I’m telling you all this is to let you know that I still have hope. I listened to your song “Haven’t Met You Yet” and cried my hearts out. When I hear the first few lines of the song I can immediately relate to it. There have been so many times that I wished I was pregnant. When I’m late for even a week I’ll buy the pregnancy test and when it comes out negative I’d just cry in the bathroom. My heart breaks everytime I don’t see the 2 blue lines.

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I’ve Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stopped Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
Then I Let Myself Down.
I Tried So Very Hard Not To Lose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And then I listened to the rest of the lyrics from the song…

I might have to wait, I’ll never give up
I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

I still believe that there is hope for me. There are times when I just want to give up, curl on my bed, turn off the lights and cry till I can’t cry anymore. But then I thought, “Hey! I did just get pregnant naturally when all this while I thought I couldn’t. That ought to count for something, right?”

Dear Mr. Buble,

I felt really bad for my husband too. When all this was happening to me I think people forgot to ask him whether he’s okay. His family members are so far away and he doesn’t have anyone to talk to here except for me. He tried so very hard to be strong for me but I know he was devastated and upset. I know he cries when he’s alone. He tried not to do it in front of me but I know he’s hurting. I just want him to be okay. I love him so much and felt so bad that I couldn’t give him this one gift that every woman is supposed to give to their husband. I want to move on and not be so sad anymore but it’s so very hard. I still find it hard to talk to my close friends about it. I want to tell them how I’m still hurting but I’m so afraid they’re going to tell me to get over it and move on. I don’t think I can handle that. I also want my husband to know that I noticed.

I noticed how caring, thoughtful and loving he is throughout this whole ordeal. I noticed that at times he looked sad but tried to put on a strong front. I noticed how he wants to make everything better for me. I noticed.

So Mr. Buble, the conclusion to this open letter is…please keep on making good music and lyrics. I know it’s cliché for some people but your song is helping me go through this tough time. God is with me and he’s giving me strength to move on and try again. But sometimes a song does wonders as well. My husband is your biggest fan. And I guess because of him, I became a fan too.