Friday, January 27, 2006

Happy Holidays, Folks!

Hey! Do you guys notice that McDonalds doesn’t sell the fried chicken anymore? Rumour has it that it has not been given the halal certificate by JAKIM. Rumour also has it that it hasn’t been halal for the longest time. Hmmm…Should probably check with JAKIM rather than listen to the rumours. Ala…but to make that phone call…sigh…so lazy laaa…

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I went to BSC for lunch today and decided to drop by my friend’s shop located on the 2nd floor of the west wing of the Bangsar Shopping Centre (“BSC”). The shop is called Bookbinders Design. OMG! I fell in love with the design of the notebooks and photo albums. The shop also sells files, pens (I bought a black coloured embossed ink pen), colour pencils and planners. The designs are very simple yet attractive. If you wanna get a perfect birthday present for your colleagues or loved ones then I suggest you check out this place. Princess Sparkle spent almost RM200 for the hardcover notebook and the planner today. Hey Onet! I’m promoting your shop in here. No discount ah? Hehehe…

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During the holidays, I plan to learn how to cook one dish every day. Will start on Sunday la since my parents are going back to Sungai Petani to visit my grandparents. I refused to cook and show my culinary skills while my mom is around coz later she would membebel and ask me to cook every single day.

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Lastly, I would also like to wish my Chinese friends Gong Xi Fa Chai. May the New Year bring abundance of wealth and good health to all of you. Drive safely coz speed kills!

Cheers!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Rules of Manhood

And you men call us weird..Sheesh!

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella (What is wrong with sharing an umbrella? I don’t get this).

2. It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse (I would cry too! She's so hot!)
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth (Ouch!)

3. Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates (Ermm..but wouldn’t you wanna capture those Kodak moments with your buddy?)

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours (What crap is this?)

5. If you've known a bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional (Seriously? Think this doesn’t apply to metrosexuals)

8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10. You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend (no matter how or when you do it, it is still gross, okay!)

11. It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.

13. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just mean.

19. If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours, except if she's withholding s*x pending your response.

21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have s*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary (this is mean!)

24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey s*x, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours (Utter nonsense!)

26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story (hahahaha..okay, we deserve that if we didnt tell you what we want)

28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Herbie my darlin'...

My car, Herbie was broken into last nite around 7pm. The arsehole smashed the driver’s seat window and ripped out the stereo. Thank god my brother came home in time and surprised the arsehole. He managed to run away but left the RM2K stereo in the car. It was drizzling and I was in the house. I couldn’t hear anything. All I heard was my brother shouting at someone and when I opened the electric gate I saw someone running away. Didn’t have a good look at the guy. Dammit!
I then went to check on Herbie. He was a mess. There were broken glasses everywhere and the arsehole had actually ripped the wires of the stereo. Even the coin compartment was broken and there were coins all over the place. What the hell was he looking for anyway? I don’t put money in the car. Who does? My smart tag was in my handbag. This was not the first time someone tried to steal the car so I know better than to leave anything valuable in my car. I then called the mechanic near my house (thank god it was still opened) and he came and took Herbie away. I don’t know how much it’s gonna cost me to have the glass window installed and the stereo fixed. I just hope it doesn’t cost me a bomb. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I am writing this. Herbie has been with me for almost 7 years. He’s my first car and has been through everything with me. I have to admit I don’t really take good care of him but he never lets me down. Even my dad was amazed how long he had lasted under my care.

Could it be that Herbie was jealous because he found out that my new car has arrived and I am going to sell him off soon? I noticed that something bad always happen when I talk about selling it off. But it’s just a car. Cars don’t have feeling, do they? Sigh…
Oh yeah, Genting trip was okay but I fell on my butt AND sprained my ankle while playing volleyball.
Sigh...it has not been a good month for me. Kena mandi bunga kot...