Second Chances

The great thing about being alive is that you have a second chance to make right whatever wrong you’ve done in the past. When a person is given a second chance, that person will try their best to succeed, be it finding love again or getting that promotion or even a better job. One tends to make the best out of it and most of the time they get past the fact that they weren’t successful the first time. However not everyone can handle being given a second chance. Some tend to screw it up even more the second time around and with these people it’s never ending. They will ask for a third or fourth chance and after a while you just feel like giving up on them because they disappoint you time and time again.

What was the saying again? Once bitten twice shy? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me? If everyone thinks this way then no one will get second chances. Or maybe you could get a second chance, but just not with the person that had let you down.

I have a few friends who got married the second time around and they have never been happier. I also know someone who had failed in his business once but now he’s a successful entrepreneur, even more successful than before. That’s the beauty of second chances. Only after you have embraced it and make the best out of it, then you will find true happiness and be at peace with yourself.

I want to tell you about a friend of mine who has been divorced for less than 8 months. Last week he told me that he’s in love and is getting married again this year in June. As a friend of course I told him I was happy for him. I am happy that he found love again and happy that he had entrusted his heart with another person. But I am also worried for him. I don’t want him to rush into things. I don’t want him to get married because he felt that his daughter needed a mother or that because he was lonely and needed a companion. I want him to get married for all the right reasons. But then I start to think what could be the right reasons to get married. To him the right reason could be because he was lonely and needed a companion. To me it should be because he is totally and utterly in love with her and that he thinks that she is good for him and that she could take good care of his daughter and love her like her own. Part of me wants him to be careful and to take it slow and thinks that getting married too soon after his divorce is a bad move but another part of me just wants him to take a chance and be happy and not think too much, just follow his heart. Alas, I did tell him to be careful and just follow his heart. At the end of the day, it’s his life and if he is happy then who am I to rain on his parade.

So what I’m trying to say here is if you’ve been given a second chance at life or love then you have to grab it and make the best out of it. Because that could be the only chance you will get at being happy.

Just Another Ordinary Day

I received an email from my friend Banana this morning. She wished me Happy Belated Birthday and asked me what I did on my birthday last Sunday.

Well, for the first time ever I did nothing special. Hubby fell ill while we were in Langkawi. He was having really high fever, headache and his body was aching all over on our first night there. We thought it was just a normal fever so I took him to Hospital Langkawi the next day. I couldn’t find a clinic believe it or not. When we got to the hospital hubby was shivering because he was so cold. We had to wait for our turn for more than an hour. When we got to see the doctor who looks like she just got out of med school, she told hubby that it was just a normal fever and gave him antibiotics and flu meds. She told him that if he doesn’t feel any better then he was to come back and see her. Right.

We went back to our chalet and hubby took his meds and went back to sleep. Even after taking the meds he still had headaches and his body was still aching but we managed to go island hopping the next day. When we came back I tried to make him eat something but he couldn’t. He said he has this bitter taste in his mouth. Even if he ate something he would throw up thereafter.

When we came back to KL he went to the clinic and did a blood test because he still had fever and headache. The doctor suspected he had dengue because his platelet and white blood cell count had gone down. To be on the safe side I took him to the hospital and he got admitted. Later in the evening the doctor confirmed that it was indeed dengue.

His platelet went down to as low as 52 before it went up again. I fed him crab soup, juice from the papaya leaves and he drank bottles and bottles of 100 plus. Whatever food that could help get his platelet up, I fed it to him. There is actually no vaccine or meds to treat dengue fever!

Then on Sunday which was on my birthday, hubby got discharged as his platelet had gone up and he said he was feeling much better. I guess that is a gift in itself but I’m not a saint. If I ever come across that stupid Aedes mosquito that bit him I would lenyek-lenyek that stupid insect sampai hancur!! I know it’s not his fault that he got sick which in turned had ruined our anniversary and my birthday. But I can’t help but feel disappointed. I know, I know. I’m a bad person for feeling this way but I’m only human. He said sorry so many times and I believed that he was sorry even though he doesn’t have to be because it’s not his fault. I mean if it had happened to me I would feel really bad too. So that’s why I don’t give him any grief about it.

When I get upset or angry I write everything down. Hence this post. It’s the only way for me to let go of all this bad feelings that I’m having. Please don’t tell me I should be grateful that he is getting better because I am grateful. I thank god that it wasn’t dengue hemorrhagic fever or chikunguya or that he didn’t have to get a blood transfusion. I don’t know who to be angry or upset at. But I am feeling it right now. Oh please God, I don’t want to be a bad wife. For some people celebrating birthdays and anniversary may seemed petty and frivolous but when you’re so looking forward to it and things don’t go as planned it is damn frustrating. I know I need to get over it fast. I am trying to.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. Happy Birthday Sher. May next year be better than this year and may Allah grant me his blessings and may all my wishes come true. Amin...