Friday, May 05, 2006

Malaysian Sex Survey

Got the forwarded mail from Athena this morning. Laughed my head off. A good way to start a Friday dont you think?
Malaysians are weird la. Why would you wanna do it in the toilet?




In the recent 2005 Durex Global Sex Survey, Malaysians overwhelmingly picked the toilet as the preferred place for shagging outside a bedroom. In view of this prevalent practice, Dua Sen presents the definitive guide to toilet bonking...

Where?

Recommended

  • Unisex toilets: Beach Club, Passion, Loft, Thai Club, Liquid KL
  • Spacious toilets: Imbi Food Court, KL, Press Club of KL
  • Lonely toilets: Shell Station, Batu 13 Ulu Langat
  • Artistic toilets: Pudu Complex (excellent erotic graffiti on doors)

Not recommended:

  • Rajooz Curry House PJ - Stack of dirty dishes inside
  • The Mall KL - The doors are about 3 or 4 feet high
  • Boutique Toilet KLCC - Will people who won't pay for a room pay RM 4 for a toilet
  • LRT Stations - Gadget mounted to prevent squatting over bowl hinders smooth sex
  • Zouk KL - Bouncers get upset
  • Toilets for the handicapped - Peter Tan gets really upset.

Precautions:

  • Due to the foul smell in most of our public toilets, it is advisable to SKIP foreplay
  • Bring along an aerosol can of air freshener and flush BEFORE sex
  • KEEP handbag safely around neck as snatch thieves strike from adjacent cubicles
  • Most of the cheap porcelain break easily, so go EASY on the acrobatics.
  • Some toilets/cubicles come with built-in urinals. They usually stink. DO NOT push your partner's head in that direction.

Positions:

  • While most (understandably) prefer an oral quickie, many copulating positions are possible depending on your dexterity and state of desperation...

KITTY STYLE

BHANGRA STYLE

HANDBAG ABOUT TO BE STOLEN STYLE

LAZY STYLE

Have a good weekend everyone!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Oooohh La La...Viva La Brazil

Last Saturday theboyfriend wanted to watch a futsal match between our Malaysian boys and The Boys From Brazil. So off we went to the Midvalley Convention Centre around 2pm. I brought my nephew along coz he loves football and I thought it would be fun. Oh my! Them boys from Brazil are cute! No Pink-fins, none of them looked like Ronaldinho okay. They had nice teeth and all.
After seeing them, I reckoned they couldn't be more than 22 years old. It was a humiliating day for our Malaysian team, Masuri FC because the Brazilian Boys trashed us 12-0! So what's new right? Our team looked like they were so intimidated by their opponents that they didnt even tackle or tried to wrestle the ball from the Brazilian Boys. Sigh...It was such a painful sight.
(From L-R) : Xando "Little Assassin", Vaguinho "The Iceberg", Xande "The Bullet", Danilo "Samba King" and Marcelo "The Prince".
Vaguinho "The Iceberg" is my favourite coz he's bald and cute and a damn good defender too! Hehehe...Xande is not bad looking either.
Can't wait for the World Cup 2006. Guess you guys know which team I will be supporting. Heh...