Friday, May 05, 2006

Malaysian Sex Survey

Got the forwarded mail from Athena this morning. Laughed my head off. A good way to start a Friday dont you think?
Malaysians are weird la. Why would you wanna do it in the toilet?




In the recent 2005 Durex Global Sex Survey, Malaysians overwhelmingly picked the toilet as the preferred place for shagging outside a bedroom. In view of this prevalent practice, Dua Sen presents the definitive guide to toilet bonking...

Where?

Recommended

  • Unisex toilets: Beach Club, Passion, Loft, Thai Club, Liquid KL
  • Spacious toilets: Imbi Food Court, KL, Press Club of KL
  • Lonely toilets: Shell Station, Batu 13 Ulu Langat
  • Artistic toilets: Pudu Complex (excellent erotic graffiti on doors)

Not recommended:

  • Rajooz Curry House PJ - Stack of dirty dishes inside
  • The Mall KL - The doors are about 3 or 4 feet high
  • Boutique Toilet KLCC - Will people who won't pay for a room pay RM 4 for a toilet
  • LRT Stations - Gadget mounted to prevent squatting over bowl hinders smooth sex
  • Zouk KL - Bouncers get upset
  • Toilets for the handicapped - Peter Tan gets really upset.

Precautions:

  • Due to the foul smell in most of our public toilets, it is advisable to SKIP foreplay
  • Bring along an aerosol can of air freshener and flush BEFORE sex
  • KEEP handbag safely around neck as snatch thieves strike from adjacent cubicles
  • Most of the cheap porcelain break easily, so go EASY on the acrobatics.
  • Some toilets/cubicles come with built-in urinals. They usually stink. DO NOT push your partner's head in that direction.

Positions:

  • While most (understandably) prefer an oral quickie, many copulating positions are possible depending on your dexterity and state of desperation...

KITTY STYLE

BHANGRA STYLE

HANDBAG ABOUT TO BE STOLEN STYLE

LAZY STYLE

Have a good weekend everyone!

29 comments:

TriPPin' said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Daymnnn! That's funny Cosmic! Thx! I sure needed that laff! :)

Angel Eyes said...

Huwaaaaaaa.. bwahaahaaaaaaa!!!

That's hillarious indeed! Man....!

Just can't belive it. But it's true, ehard from some of the poeple here that thery prefer to get it done in the toilets most of the time if they are outdoors. It's because, they can't WAIT any longer until they get home!

Dang!

The feeling is there... hmm... saw an 'interesting incident' before. Not bad, not bad... :p

lx said...

i think the survey came about after the infamous zouk incident, where a couple was allegedly beaten up for being one of them 44% LOL

Cosmic_GurL said...

Trippin - Yup, it brightened up my Friday too! :)

Angeleyes - Waahh! Very horny bunch those ppl are eh? Hehehehehe..

LX - Aaaahhh...no wonder it mentioned Zouk! So it's the thrill of getting caught then?

superdzu said...

very funny cosmic!

eh ada ke selera nak main kat pudu complex?
kekeke

9 said...

if it was a nice, clean toilet then i wudn't mind.

hv i done it in a toilet? thats for me to know & you to find out. heh *wink*

Cosmic_GurL said...

Superdzu - kalau dah gian tu dlm toilet kat pudu pun jalan kot! Kotor belakang cerita. hehehe..

9 - I dont think uve ever done it in the toilet. u kan mat skima. Ahaks!

Mr Hobo said...

I need a partner to try test tengok these position ... volunteers ... anyone anyone?

9 said...

i mat skima? i mat skima? wat gave u THAT persception...?

if only u knew....

Cosmic_GurL said...

Hobo - U na try this position kat mana? Dlm toilet ke? Blergh!

9 - Hehehe...penchenta2 alam ni kan semua skema belaka. Oh dear, ive struck a nerve. Now u gotta go and prove yr masculinity. U can start by telling us whether uve done it in the toilet or not :p

Desparil said...

if i had to choose a toilet.. then it will be the klcc RM 2 one.. clean and smells nice..

trueblue said...

ish..tak comfortable la..malu also bila ada sound effect sekali :)
Kalau tak tahan, pegi hotel la. Hehe

agus said...

yah. I saw the cartoon from the zouk incident, but I'm not sure who's tellin the truth.

Aswad said...

come and visit my blogs la ok.

very funny la u.

cikPijah said...

hahahaha! unbelievable kan rakyat mesia ni? ade ke kat toilet. tak hygienic langsung!

hobo! dah test nanti kasi tau which position the best ok.. ken put it in one of ur blog entries perhaps. :P

BLaCkFeLiNe said...

heheh that was funny...my eyebrows took a long time to get back in position again..:p

Oreos said...

toilets are often the nearest place around when you get horny. convenient what...

Freak & Geek said...

eeewwww!!!! betul ke survey tuh...

che'fara said...

okkay sungguh porno.hihi.

Cik Puan Muda Stress said...

eleh freak. eeeeww konons.

hurm.. toilets? no comment! no comment!!

toilet rumah sendiri kira ke?

Cosmic_GurL said...

Des - Eh, at least go do it in Mandarin Oriental's toilet la. Takyah bayar and ada sofa lagi. heheheh..

trueblue - Hotel mahal kot thts why they chose to do it in the toilet. Like wht Des said, byr RM2 jer :p

Agus - yeah read it in someone's blog too abt the incident. so many contradictory stories

Aswad - Thanks :)

cikpijah - Eh, sat night hari tu tak sempat cakap goodbye la kat u pijah. sorry! u guys stayed kat superdzu's til wht time?

Hobs tu kan masih teruna lagi. Ahaks!

Blackfeline - Eyebrows? Hahahahaha...

Oreos - talking from experience issit? Hehehe..yew notty lil devil yew :p

FnG - Kalau tak betul pun ppl will believe mcm it's betul :)

Che Fara - Ops lupa! Anda kanak2 bawah umur. Sila alihkan pandangan anda. Terima Kasih :p

Cik PMS - Fuiyooo! Toilet rumah u lagi canggih dr hotel punya ke Cik Puan? Heheheh

Shopper Mom said...

toilet kat Shook cun gila.
no, i'm not advocating having sex there k. :P

Cosmic_GurL said...

Shopper Mom - LOL! Yeah, I soooo believe you. Whre is this place anyway? Not tht i wanna go have sex in their toilet la :p

Shopper Mom said...

Shook is at the lowest floor of Starhill. Go check it out. Too bad it ain't of the unisex kind. :P

kepala_angin said...

toilet, tak moh la. dah la ada study kata, once you flushed, the particle can travel up to 2 meters away.

u tgh busy2, org sebelah flush, eeuuu...

Cosmic_GurL said...

Shopper mom - Nanti lah i nak gi tengok :)

kepala angin - Ive heard of tht too! No wonder la one of my friend said tht everytime she flushes she would close the toilet seat lid..hmmm...

[Is]landa said...

toilet at shook is quite warm lah.

Azhaezah said...

public toilet? big NO for me... toilet rumah, hemmm, never thot of it. aahh, ummm, stil no... for me, toilet is a dirty place even if it looks clean n shinny. c'mon, got other nice, comfy place to express yr passion with yr love one!!

Idham said...

hehehe...been there done that ..hahhaaha...
:)

anyone looking for an experienced partner...buzz my number *wink*