Most of the time we take life for granted. We act as if we’re going to live forever when it should be the other way around. We should live as if we are going to die tomorrow. But how many of us actually think about death everyday? Usually, we would think about what movies to watch, where to eat, what house or car we’re going to buy or where to go on holidays. Thinking about death is just too grim and depressing, especially when you think you’re too young to meet your maker. Why think about your mortality when there are other more interesting things to look forward to in life, right?
Last week, my mom told me she dreamt of my late grandma, Tok Yang. Tok Yang came to her and told her she’s going to take my mom to a wonderful place. When my mom told me of her dream, my heart skipped a beat because usually when people dream about something like that it means they’re going to die soon. I told her to stop talking about it, that she’s not going anywhere with my grandma and told her that she was going to live forever and that I am not prepared to lose her anytime soon. Because really, who wants to entertain the thought of their loved ones especially their parents not being around? I admit when it comes to my parents’ mortality especially my mother, I am one of those who are in perpetual denial. I want to think that she will outlive me because I don’t think I can survive without her.
After my mom told me about her dream, I can’t stop thinking about death. It’s not that I purposely want to think about it. I kept thinking how I would react if she was taken from me. And what can I do now so I won’t regret anything later? So now I try to make every day count. Every morning I would go to her room and kiss her good morning, something I rarely do before because I’m always late and will usually be in a rush to work. Whenever she wants me to do something, I try not to procrastinate and to do it as soon as I could. I try not to lose temper when she nags about small things. Take her out for breakfast, grocery shopping and to watch a theatre. She may not see the difference in my behavior now but to me it’s important that I do all that I guess. It’s important because if God were to take her away from me, I will have no regrets. I can honestly say, “I have done everything that a daughter is supposed to do for her mother.”
We always hear the words “Life is too short”. One day we could be healthy as a horse, and then suddenly stricken with an incurable disease the next. How many of us actually believe those words and try to do everything we can to make each second of our life meaningful? Well, I am trying to do my part bit by bit. Trying to make my life more meaningful and not fret over little things.
I am trying and I am thankful I have good friends and family members who will no doubt remind me if I ever forget.