Monday, December 19, 2005

Fix You

I have only had 2 serious relationships in my life. The first one when I was 25 years old (yeah, I’m a late bloomer) and the second one when I was 29. The first one didn’t work out because … well, because I reminded him of his dead sister (for the record I don’t look like her) and that made him feel sad. That’s the reason he gave me when he wanted to break up with me. Personally, I don’t think that was the reason at all. We were together for 4 years and I think he got bored and wanted to go out with other young, pretty girls out there. I still see him around now and then with his wife and we are cordial to each other.

The second one didn’t work out because we are of different religion and he just couldn’t bring himself to convert to Islam. We are still good friends and call each other up now and then to ask how the other person is doing. It’s more complicated as you didn’t break up because the other party cheated on you or anything. You just broke up because situation does not permit you to be together. I am happy that I have moved on and I am sure he has moved on as well.

Charlotte, in one of the episode from Sex and The City said that you only get 2 great love of your life. I beg to differ. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall in love. Everytime you meet a person, at the back of your mind you will always wonder whether that person could be the love of your life. Yes, you get scared to give your heart and it is very difficult to trust that guy fully but it all depends on how the guy reassures you that the relationship could work out. It all depends on how he can “fix you” after your heart has been broken. Some people are fixable but some people go through life surrounding their hearts with walls as high as the Great Wall of China.

I was listening to this song by Coldplay called “Fix You” and the lyrics just got to me. A friend told me that Chris Martin wrote this song for his wife Gwyneth Paltrow when she lost her dad and was feeling very sad.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I am happy and thankful that I had found someone that has fixed my broken heart. I pray to God that we will end up together till the day we die.

This entry is corny I know but I just had to let it off my chest.

For those who has had their hearts broken, I pray that you will find someone to fix it for you. When it comes to relationship, you can never adopt the "once bitten twice shy" attitude or you'll miss out on falling in love. Being in love is a great feeling. I have no regrets whatsoever. I believe the experience has made me stronger and wiser.
I am a hopeless romantic. I do believe there is that one person out there for you. I am glad I had found mine.


Pink-Fins said...

I have not found anyone that can fix me Sher... and yes, my wall is as high as Great Wall of China ;'-(

Princess Sparkle said...

Your honour, I beg to differ. *Ho Hum*

It's great if you can find a Mr Fix It. But it's also D-I-Y ya.... :-) Fixable yourself... And with time, a Heart can heal...

I agree with you on Charlotte! She's a dreamer! ;-)

Cosmic_GurL said...

Pinkfins - We all have to let our guards down sooner or later. You will let yours down when you find the right person. In the meantime you have wonderful friends to make you happy :)

Princess - You love everything that is "DIY" huh? LOL. You are right though. You dont need a man to fix your heart. Ice cream and chocolate work wonders!

Anonymous said...

glad that u found him....just take care of what u got..n dont take them for granted

Angel Eyes said...

i guess i shared the same situation like you as well. my heart and feelings was totally thrashed by a man that i love so dearly in my life. we started when i was only 19. but i learned something from him, love a person who really treasure you, who appreciates who you are. no forcing in a relationship. it's hard for me, but i gotta move on and he's happily married by now.. and i'm happy for him. there's nothing i can fix here..

life goes on.. and i believe that makes me a stonger woman, day by day..

my 2 cents.. hehe

Cosmic_GurL said...

Anonymous - I plan to take him for granted for the rest of my life! That is the best kinda love :)

Angeleyes - I pray you will find someone who will treasure u dearly and appreciate who you are :)

Ms J said...

oh this is sooooo sweet! i do like this posting...perhaps we are both at the same stage in our life...

wonderful. good luck to you my friend!

[Is]landa said...


im gonna start on a campaign soon.

Javard said...

is there an expiry date to this search for love.....i so hope not....

Cosmic_GurL said...

Inconditus - Awww shucks..hehehe...thanks :)

Ylanda - Yup, love is definitely in the air my dear!

Javard - Of course not! The trick is to not look for it. It will hit you when you least expect it :)

enthralled heartbreakee said...

oh God. I wish someone would sing that to me.Ha!Ha!

Cosmic_GurL said...

Enthralled - I know what you mean. Such a nice song kan? :)

Princess Sparkle said...

Cosmic Gurl's right Javard, and you will find it at the least expected places! :-)

CV said...

i think we have to fix ourselves first. other people fixing us is like a handyplast - a temporary fix. i really believe that we'd be stronger if we fix ourselves. just my two cents.

Cosmic_GurL said...

CV - Yeah but smtimes we need help n can't do it alone.

superdzu said...

i've been through the same thing too.went out with a guy from a different religion for 7 years. and was going to get married and all, cancelled bcoz he panicked. tak jadi convert.
met someone new, a malay guy, thought he was going to be the one. and ..yeah we broke up bulan puasa baru2 ni.
i absolutely love that song by coldplay too.
i'm hoping to meet someone this year....someone to fix me.
: )
happy that you've met 'the one'.