Thursday, August 16, 2007

Of Being A Tad Emo...


I cried when I read this before coming to work. I read it the second time when I got into the office and I cried again. Yes, I’m feeling very emotional today.

Such a sweet, sweet man. Lucky woman, that wife of his.

On Tuesday, I told hubby that I was going to come home a bit late as I was supposed to attend a farewell dinner for a colleague at one of the restaurants in Bukit Bintang. I came back around 10pm and saw hubby having dinner in the room with the laptop in front of him. I felt guilty because he had to have dinner alone but at the same time I felt sad because he didn’t ask me how my eye appointment at the doctor went. So I kinda “merajuk” with him and after I took my shower I didn’t even stay in the room with him. I went downstairs to watch television and left him all alone in the room. I was feeling angry and sad and melancholic at the same time. Maybe because I was having my menstrual and my hormones tak betul skit.

After I watched the television I went up to my room and saw hubby had already slept. It was around 11.30pm and he didn’t usually sleep that early. I switched off the lights and went to sleep too.

The next morning I woke up and got myself ready for work and hubby was also getting ready for work and hubby asked me what was wrong. He asked me why I was moody last night. I told hubby I was just feeling melancholic and I had no mood. Hubby said it’s okay, he understood and gave me a big hug and a kiss and told me it’s all gonna be okay. I told him I was sorry and he said there was nothing to be sorry about.

Sometimes I think I am a little bit harsh on my hubby. I don’t mean to be but sometimes I get angry and sad at myself and I let it out on him, which I know I shouldn’t but still do. Him, being an understanding and a wonderful husband just took it all in. I am sorry, hubby. I will try to be a better wife. I just hope that you’ll be patient with me. Even though you don’t understand why I am acting in a certain way, I just need for you to love me. You don’t have to understand me but you just need to love me. That’s all.

29 comments:

diamond baby said...

Cosmic,
Is the blogger your hubby? He's sweet! Anyway, as someone who knows exactly what you're going thru each time you have that red flag, my advise is, pls go and see a doctor. Forget abt the 1 year waiting period, just go. There are all sorts of medicine that can help you conceive faster that you can say 'help'! so go! I would recommend Doc Hamid Arshat!

Da Winged Acrophobic said...

Aaaawwwwwww........

Monster Mom said...

dear sher... so sweet of you to realize it...

and having such a wonderful and understanding hubby...

bertuah u!

ti.e.na said...

u guys are made for each other.:)

Cosmic_GurL said...

DB - *Smile sheepishly* Yeah :)
Ive heard about him too. My friend pun ask me to go just to check fertility etc..

WA - *Smile* Sweet like chocolate :)

Monstermom - Yeah, I am lucky :) Better late than never kan?

tiena - I sure hope so. Dah takleh nak tukar lain dah. Hahahaha!

missy is K.U said...

*sob sob* touching ye...

owh..mana la nak dapat a husband like yours..ohok ohok.. kamu berdua sangat romantis..*so sweeet*

...tapi dia man u supporter laaa..kekekke...!!!

alah dia faham la tu u.., sumore kita pempuan ni selalu beremosi tak tentu hala.

D.N.A.S said...

tsk tsk.... yr background song is also quite melancholic la dear... Ini musim durian la, bukan musim bersedih-sedih. Kalau nak ceria, tengoklah ASTRO ceria... hehehehe

princesswaffzonkle said...

mari kita beramai2 makan cokelat. good for the soul.

all jazzed up said...

cosmic, well your hubby is one in a million. so sweet and understanding. im getting a tad bit emo too reading your entry. kinda miss the times when i have a hubby to merajuk with :)

Azer Mantessa said...

:-)

us hubbies might miss out what considered as 'lil things' but we sure dun miss an inch *wink*

u hv a nice wkend ya and happy school holidays :-)

Sweettooth said...

wow! the blogger is ur hubby? u r indeed lucky! but i'm very sure he's damn lucky to hv u too ;). have a good weekend and jom jln2 cari makan!

Cosmic_GurL said...

Missy - Dapat kat Friendster. Hahahaha! Ala missy there are good men out there. Kena pandai sift thru the good ones from the bad :)

Dnas - Tulah, i think it's time for me to change the background song..heehehe..i lurve durians! Now u make me teringin nak beli some

waffzonkle - Yes, I'd like one rittersport thank you! :P

AJU - Well, i dont plan to be emo lama2 sgt...sungguh tak best :)

AM - Hahahaha! Notty! Have a good weekend too bro :)

sweetooth - This weekend gi Cherating la..mana nak carik makan yang best ah?

cikPijah said...

sob sob sob! soooo sweeet ok! slamat bercuti and take care bebeh!
*hugs*

EDDY PURNAMA SPARROW said...

siapa dapat that guy memang untung ah.....

you know your hubby loves you regardless...everything else is just asam garam kehidupan...

UglyButAdorable said...

u know wht CG dear..he is one hell of an awesome husband and you are a great otherhalf... my prayers for you.. ain't easy to find someone who loves you unconditionally...

btw..biler mood dah ok...singgah ler rumah i..i tagged you..

katakbesar said...

"sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit
inikan pula suami isteri"

saying the word 'sorry'
would probably the hardest thing to do for most people
and for a husband to receive it from his wife
that would definitely be something he would treasure

Theta said...

I can empathise with what you're going dear Cosmic Gurl.

For six months, I was down everytime the indicator turned negative.

To say the least, it caused undue stress and on advice of the doctor, we decided to just take it easy - not to think so much about it which took fun out of the equation anyway.

God willing, your time will come.

And both of you are lucky to have each other in your lives :)

Cosmic_GurL said...

cikpijah - Thanks pijah. Hugs

eddy - yes, I know. Dia pun untung dpt wife yang cute lagi baik hati tau. Ahaks!

UBA - Yes, I'm one lucky gal. Tag you nanti buat lepas I balik dr Cherating kay :)

katakbesar - It comes from the heart, which makes it even better :)

theta - Yeah, thats what I;m gonna do from now on. Just try to take it easy and have lotsa lotsa wild sex! :P

Angel Eyes said...

Insyallah, i will pray that you guys will get the 'rezeki' from God ya... take it easy darl...

Mwahs

ardy said...

That's what I call unconditional love, the best kind of love there is.

And you're lucky and blessed to have it :)

(while the rest of us are still searching for it!)

lx said...

u'll be alright, CG ... both of you would be ... realisations are powerful ... they help us heal and move on. I'm still on a long trodden path and hopefully, one day I will find myself. hv a great weekend.

akula said...

You definitaly have to have more sex.

Freak & Geek said...

sangatlah sweetnyer. boleh tak clone kan ur hubby for us single girls? hehehee.. just kidding, sis..

anyway, don't worry too much abt it, just go for check up, seek professional advice... and keep on 'doing' it... my prayers are with u both...

*hugs and kisses*

suzequatro said...

i pun emo giler before the mensus..leceh betul..

Dade Ghost said...

I call u CG ok? Just some advice if u have not tried.

1) Have sex when u r at your peak to be impregnated. If I am not mistaken it is about a few days before and after the middle of your period cycle. Then refrain from sex or strenuous activities. If u r pregnant, then u have to rest a lot. If possible RIB. U might have to take leave for a few months....

2) If u r on the thinner side, please put on some weight. If u r too heavy, height and weight ratio of Asian ladies, then put off some weight, but keep it on the heavy side.

3) Relax.

I pray that u n spouse will get what u wish for and be happy thruout your life. Never stop trying. Maybe u need to go to Mekah and pray in front of Ka'bah for Allah to grant your wish.

Yours Truly ... XOXO said...

ooww...sounds like u have a sweet hubby too there...;P sometimes mmg women tends to be a bit emosional lah kan... ;P but yeap u're lucky to hav an understanding hubby... ;P

shell said...

I think skang ni my emo level shoot up 50%. Hubster salah sikit cakap jer i can cry sampai muntah muntah.. :P lagi teruk.

I think it's about time you went to seek for specialist help. Kalau diaorg tak nak layan, kata dah kawen for 2 years :P. Tipu sunat sket.. hehhe

I got a friend yang after 3 years cannot mengandung. When she checked, her egg ada macam selaput so susah.. and she took clomid.3 months later she successfully conceived. (skang dah deliver pun)

I cannot say I feel you but I do hope you feel better after the weekend.

*hugs*

Cosmic_GurL said...

angeleyes - Thanks dear...thats all i ask..doa from my friends :)

ardy - Yup, I think so too..i am lucky ;)

Alex - I thought u have found yourself?

akula - LOL! As usual, u always give good advice! :P

FnG - Kalau ader machine clone i dah clone 20-30 so I blh jual and become a billionaire..hahahaha!

suze - Pompuan mmg camtulah..

DG - Thanks bro...wow! I feel sebak plak so many ppl cared...hehehe...

XOXO - Thanks :) eh dgr business cupcake dah jalan..congrats dear! :)

shell - wow! thats good advice..yeah planning to go for a check up soon. thanks.

eh u merajuk ngan yr hubby sampai nangis muntah2? teruk tu!

- guile - said...

my dear CG,
when you feel melancholic or sad, expressed it to your hubby. do not go down and be with yourself. do not be alone! do not leave him alone! it looks to me that your hubby is a very understanding person (*sob*sob* tears in my eyes now) therefore, talk to him. yes, you were 'terasa' when he didnt ask you about ur doc's appointment. my dear, he is a man and man do not think like us on the tiny weeny little detail. just go ask him 'sayang, tak nak tanya ker my appointment tadi?'. most of the times, our action causes such reactions. but good to know that your hubby did ask the next day and giving u a hug and a kiss after that, is precious!