Monday, March 24, 2008

You Can Only Pray

If beauty is only skin-deep, then why do men always fall head over heels over gorgeous but not so smart chicks?

Men always say that they prefer intelligent, witty and independent women. But I bet deep down they would rather their girlfriend/wife be drop dead gorgeous so other men can tell them how lucky they are to bag such a prize.
Are men that shallow? I would like to think that men have evolved over the years. But have they, seriously?

Another question that needs answering is, Is it okay for married men to flirt even when they have no intention (that’s what they say la) of taking it a step further? Why do they do it in the first place? Nak test power perhaps?

Have you ever asked yourselves why your husband and/wife chose you as their significant other? Have you asked yourselves,

“Am I good enough for him/her?” or

“Can he/she love me till the day I die?” or

“Will he/she be faithful to me till the end?” or

“What will I do if he/she betrays me?”

How do you sleep at night without knowing the answers?

I guess marriage is a gamble. You can never be certain how it will turn out. It could go either way. You can only pray that the sparks will never die and that the love grows stronger each and everyday. You can only pray.


Cik Puan Muda Stress said...


hi darling,whats up?

sabaq la no.. this too shall past...

Cosmic_GurL said...

Heya dear...hows your toe? okay lah :) sajer gatai nak tengok response from the men/women who read my blog said...

i know a certain someone who is not so gorgeous and not so smart but claims she is the kind of 'the' trophy girlfriend.

i guess the not so handsome but not so smart boyfriend told her i guess yeah,men can be that shallow sometimes.


i know im gorgeous...but i know that women like me more for intelligence and wittiness...


beauty is so not skin deep 2 some people ah...benci..

diamond baby said...

you can never be too sure of your partner. i've seen people yg kononnya macam malaikat, depan bini pijak semut tak mati tapi rupanya belakang bini, pijak dinasourpun boleh mati.

my take on this - que sera sera, whatever happens, its qada & qadar. i told my hubby way before we got married, if you can do it, so can i, so think twice b4 you do anything foolish! *wink*

Sweettooth said...

married people shouldn't flirt for whatever reason becoz things like this will lead to another level so don't ever start at all...i always try to remind hubby of this but dia buat jugak ke idak, wallahualam.....

pugly said...

I guess when you make a lifetime commitment i.e. decide to tie the knot, you'll have to trust your judgment, his judgment & each other. But I suppose it's human nature to occupy ourselves with unnecessary pursuits sometimes i.e. question things.

My take in this is: have faith in each other, leave it to God & don't worry yourself unncessarily. Buang masa. It can easily drive one crazy entertaining such thoughts - & sometimes, those thoughts can easily manifest into paranoia.

And it's definitely not on for married men/women to flirt with others, with or without hidden agenda. I mean, why the need to in the first place? What good is it going to bring other than things potentially turning messy out of it?

Kalau tak mendatangkan apa2 faedah, baik jangan buat.

Lynn said...

Of course we can generalize everything and while we're on the topic, I'd like to question the "not so smart" women who even have the need to "test power" on married men. The only reason I can find is they're just too smart wanting to deal with the wives' prowess. To these women, please, I urge you, get a better life, and use that thing in between your ears, behind and above your eyes to errmmm, how do I put it in your language...? Oh, think.

And as for us wives, have faith in ourselves and make du'a.

hunny said...

I think all women will have these questions in mind when they are with someone they love.

I just wonder tho, do men have these thoughts as well?

Theta said...

I admit that I entertain such thoughts too. The ones you listed at the end.

But at the end of it, you have to trust your judgment, that you're doing your best to keep the love alive, and leave the rest to Allah.

As for married men who flirt, I have one word for that: lecherous.

- guile - said...



as much faith i have put in my spouse,
as much confidence i have in him,
as much devotion i gave my life to him,
as much freedom i gave to him,
as much convincing i did to myself accepting men's 'naluri',
as much mental preparation i had on a muslim man to marry more than one wife,
as much denial i took hit,
as much acceptance i embraced...

it hurts (very.. very!!) when knowing your man went to another woman - even if it was only words, nothing physical.

Nour said...

yup agree, they can be shallow..thats the reality.

akula said...


Cosmic_GurL said...

tiena - I dont understand how a person can be so perasan and be proud to call herself a "trophy gf"..I mean isnt tht demeaning to women?

EP - Hahaha..memang pun Ed, u are goojas and witty..thts why we love ya :P

DB - Hahaha..pijak dinasour pun mati?? Thats funny! Yeah kita pompuan ni cakap jer we will do wht our husbs do tapi when it comes down to it, tak sampai hati punya nak buat benda2 mengarut semua

Sweettooth - Ure so right! We can only warn them...belakang wallahualam kan? thts why a certain level of trust needs to be there. But wht happens when they betray that trust? Hmmm...

Pugly - Like i said in my entry, maybe pasal both parties nak test power? Yang husb tu nak test tengok whether women would still fall for ayat2 dia yang power while the woman plak nak test to see whether she can make him forget abt his wife becoz of her..power trip la sebenarnya.

Byk benda ppl do even though tak mendatangkan faedah dlm dunia ni...dunnolah..sommetimes can go crazy also bila pikir pasal all this kan? yang seeloknya tawakal jer lah..

Lynn - Good advice! Yang susahnya when both parties dont think but ikut nafsu...

hunny - Im sure the men think abt this as well but just not as often as women do. Lepas kahwin, men usually take for granted tht their wife will be faithful to them..naluri wanita to be faithful right? Not all women la i suppose but majority of them..

theta - Yup, tawakal and trust God.

Guile - *Hugs* Believe me, sometimes words can be more hurtful :((

nour - Sigh..sad kan?

Akula - AMIN!! :))

- guile - said...

yes, and because of the words, my life shattered! how can men think that it is OK for them to say 'i love you' to another woman other than his wife?? how would they feel if their wives say it to another man?

ardy said...

Pray. Some people pray their whole life, yet what they get is not what they want.

Well, at least they get something, right?

And how can you be sure? How can anyone be sure? It's a frightening thought.

Unless of course, if you have faith. And you believe. Which I'm trying to do.

Sarclover said...

thats the things -la

i have always thought of myself as inadequate for the guys i went out with.

i think about how he deserve someone not as as screwed up as me, someone who wears tudung and stuff...

not me. i am a bikini wearing, hippie wench. although i want someone who salam cium tangan and lends a hand during family kenduris, i dont know if i deserve that kind of person.

well... obviously, thats why i am single lah!

kawaii_desu said...

hmm.. those questions...

but men always have their excuses over every damn thing they do..

Cosmic_GurL said...

Guile - The thing is men take for granted tht their wife is gonna stay faithful to them forever. They think their wife tak berani nak main kayu tiga. It is never okay for a husb to say he loves another woman even though he doesnt plan to take it a step further!

Ardy - U can never stop praying. God is testing us. All we can do is have faith tht everything will be alright

Sarc - Dont be so hard on yourself. Everyone deserve to be with someone who is good for them. And i hope ull find wht ure looking for :)

KD - Not all men..only the tak guna ones!

east43street said...

There are always ups and downs in any marriage. Do not pretend that there is none. Stamina and endurance are required in any marriage.

Keyword..... don't take anything for granted, be it to your husband or your wife, then the sparks will always be there.

east43street said...

Btw, love and respect are to be earned, not to be demanded. Then we can pray, for whatever outcome that would be.

Cosmic_GurL said...

E43ST - Ure spot on both :) Very wise indeed

- guile - said...

i read this posting again. somehow, tears welled in my eyes, especially the second last para where you put a query :"Have you ever asked yourselves why your husband and/ wife chose you as their significant other? ".

the aftermath of the storm has always brought me this question, and i no longer can positively feel good about myself. it's such a sad situation. but, i have to live. life goes on.

katakbesar said...

not limited only marriage
- gamble

life is

but, no worries
face it, tough it
and at the end, let it be

c' est la vie