Thursday, February 04, 2010

Crap and other bullshit


I need to do something to cheer myself up. Everything just seems to either bore me or irritate me nowadays. My friends say maybe I need to get away so when I come back I will feel energised and refreshed. Yeah right! Like that is going to happen. Usually after you come back from a holiday, you need another holiday to recover from your previous one. It's neverending!


I am not suffering from depression. I live a well-balanced life I should think. But sometimes it is just so hard to get out of bed. What is wrong with me?? Even my husband could not cheer me up sometimes. It's just frustrating for me and for him too I guess because when he tells me something my mind just wonders off and i ended up not registering whatever he said. And that of course annoys him, which in turn annoys me.


I just have this feeling you know...like I can't pinpoint what is bothering me but I just feel so bothered! Been feeling like this for a few weeks now. It's an annoying feeling to have.


Maybe I've been feeling this way because I'm turning 36 next week. On the 8th Feb to be exact. But the thing is I've never been depressed about turning a year older because I really believe that age is just mind over matter, you know if you don't mind then it won't matter?!


I think I am just afraid of getting older and not getting pregnant...like ever. Yeah, yeah belum rezeki lagi, I know the speech. It's just so bloody annoying when i think about it. It would be so much better if as we get older, our womb gets younger, don't you think so? Then I don't have to worry about all that biological clock is ticking crap.


Oh crap. I am going to be 36 next week and I am terrified. i am so bloody terrified. God help me please.

10 comments:

pijah said...

haih. tell me abt it.

Ms B said...

Oh dear CG! After months of hiatus, you brilliantly come up wth this. :-|

Most of my single 30+ girlfriends have the same concern. It is not about having a man, but rather to have a child of their own. Which is why they think I have an almost perfect picture; living the life with a lovely daughter, sans the headache of a man. LOL! (this is me trying to cheer u up now)

or u can resort to ice-cream or cakes just like what Ive been doing.

Cosmic_GurL said...

Pijah - It aint easy kan? Sigh...it's like you have to race against time..

Ms B - Hehehe...yeah sorry i know i havent been updating diligently..U know what? Thanks for the suggestion...I think I'd prolly have a big tub of BnJ to cheer myself up on my birthday and not worry about putting on weight! How's that?! :P

rozzdabozz said...

c_gurl

be ur normal self and brave the world...it won't be easy but i guess that is the best...n...ermmm...going 30 sumting u must jaga ur diet laa...once a while enjoying cakes n ice cream can la but don't make it a habit...nanti bila dah tembam susah pulak nak lose those fats...lepas tu suami pun dah tak stim hahahaha....just joking but give that a good thot...if u really wanna eat load urself with losta veggies and pasta...like good aje aku cerita hahahaha

Anyway...Happy Birthday...

cheers..

Cosmic_GurL said...

Bro, now also dah tembam how? hahahaha...yes i get what ure saying...thanks for the advice :)

D.N.A.S said...

sometimes, kan ... we'll feel depressed and cranky kalau kurang ambik sugar and carbo.

So, drink fruit juice and have pasta/rice instead of ice cream.

I rasa u ni kena pegi detox jugak ni...(plus 2 hours massage).

Cosmic_GurL said...

DNAS - Yeah lepas gym kat Curve I will usually get something from Juiceworks..I think ure right la..i do need that massage...sigh..

Amy said...

Happy birthday Sherie dear..

Cosmic_GurL said...

Thanks Amy :)

nizamohamed said...

Hi there...Yep, know what you are feeling, am turning 36 myself this year. But take it as a year wiser, not a year older...:)