Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Happy Birthday to Me

I turned 40 a few days ago. F-O-R-T-Y. The big four-oh. They even created a tagline for people who turns 40 i.e. Life begins at 40.

Age is just a number, right? Yada yada yada...I am telling you I can actually FEEL my age. I get tired easily. My legs ache after walking for a few hours especially in a shopping mall. Dont get me wrong. I lurve shopping and dont mind walking if I can get that nice handbag or cosmetics but these days I just feel so tired.

Hubs and I just got back from JB. We visited Legoland and JPO. What do those 2 places have in common? More walking! Geez, I wished they had invented a cool and hip stroller for adults, not like the wheelchair but you know like those cool strollers that people sell on fb for kids. LOL.

You know when you get older you always think about how fragile life is, you start to think about your own mortality, your accomplishments, failures etc. Yes, you feel blessed that God has allowed you to live this long but at the same time you ask yourself what else can you do to make your life better.

I have no children of my own. I am taking care of my 3 year old niece which could be taken away from me anytime by my brother and his wife. I dont know what I would do if that happens. When I see my friends with their own children I do feel a sense of envy. Not the bad kind of envious feelings but the sad kind i.e. like why dont I have one of my own. I know God has His own reasons but as a human being I cant help but wonder about these things.

It is just one of those days I guess where you feel melancholic because you feel so old.

I know I will feel better when I see the little princess at home after I come back from work. She makes me feel better everytime I see her. I love you my dear Sayang. You will always be my special one.


Faten Rafie said...

I know. I am your age, and I don't have any children of my own either.


Cosmic_GurL said...