Undilah..jangan tido..

Love the video.

Forgiveness

FORGIVENESS.

Came across this in the Islamic Thinking (click) blog. So true especially the part below:-

How can we move up the ladder of spiritual development when we hold bitterness and anger towards another person? While we may have been in the right, is it worth sacrificing our energy on a grudge instead of on growth?

Is there not something strange about asking for Allah’s forgiveness of our sins while withholding our forgiveness from someone who has hurt us?

Ramadhan is a holy month. It's the only month where your good deeds are multiplied by thousands, even millions if you're one of the lucky ones.

Ya Allah, terima lah amalanku and makbulkan lah semua doa-doaku. Hanya Kau yang Maha Mengetahui segala yang di langit dan di bumi.

Allahumma yassir wala tu'assir. Rabbi tammim bilkhoir. Birahmatikaya Arhamarrohimin.

Ya Allah, please make things easier for me and don't make them difficult.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir Batin.

Sayang

I will be spending Hari Raya in Kuching this year. I will miss this cutiepie the most. It's gonna be a loooooong raya. Sigh.

Wordless Wednesday

Redang Island - August 2010

Not Daddy's Little Girl...

When I was small, I didn’t have the best relationship with my dad. He was a high ranking police officer and was seldom at home. I was so much closer to my mom, so I was never daddy’s little girl and can never understand the concept of being pampered by a dad. In fact I don’t remember liking my dad until I grew up and graduated from university.

I remembered we moved to Tapah when he was appointed as the DO sometime in late 70s. The house that we moved into was an old bungalow and behind it were rubber trees. I swear the house was haunted because we often hear knockings at the door and when we opened the door no one was outside. We also often hear the water taps being turned on. One of the maids told my mom that she saw a black hairy thing under the bed.

Anyway, I was 5 years old when we moved into the bungalow. I remembered that I was a very careless child. I would put my water bottle containing milo in my schoolbag and the milo would somehow spill and wet all my books. In one year, my parents went through I think 4-5 sets of books. When my dad asked me to take something out of the car, I would often lock the car and accidentally leave the car keys in the car. So I was often punished by my dad for being so careless. It was not the normal “ketuk ketampi” or “no tv for a week” kinda punishments. My punishments include standing in the hot sun without any slippers or shoes on for a few hours till I felt dizzy and both feet scorched by the hot tar road, sometimes the clothes hanger would land on my hands and sometimes he would make me stand at one corner in the house for few hours and not talk to anyone.

Because of all these punishments, I hated my dad when I was growing up. He’s not the kind of person who would come and pacify you after the punishment and actually tell you that he’s doing all that because he loves you and is teaching you a lesson. My dad was a hard man. I guess being a police officer he has to be very tough and not show any compassion. My siblings and I turn to my mom for everything. We relied on Mama for everything, be it money or love.

After my dad retired from the force, he spent more time at home, going to the mosque and praying. He is still fierce sometimes and expects people to follow what he says without question (he sometimes treat his kids like his subordinates. Giving orders instead of asking for help) but over the years he mellowed down and after getting grandchildren he learned to be gentler. I’m not saying he totally changed for the better but I can see the effort made.

My relationship with my dad is complicated. I respect him as a father even though I disagree with some of the things he does. I do love him but not in a loving sort of way. It is more like an obligation as a daughter kind of way. We’ve never celebrated Father’s Day. We’ve never given him a card on his birthday. What we siblings would do after all of us have started working is to take him out to dinner/lunch on his birthday or buy him a gift or give him money. I know he appreciates the effort and always thanked us for celebrating his birthday.

Sometimes I envy people who are close to their fathers, especially some girlfriends of mine who totally worship their dads. I don’t think I will ever have that kind of relationship with my father. I will always pray for him. I will always respect him. I will always do anything I can to make him happy. That’s my duty as a daughter as far as it goes.

This weekend is Father’s Day. I suspect my siblings and I would go about our daily lives and will not even remember the day. And I suspect my dad won’t even care or expect us to shower him with gifts. To him there is no need to celebrate Father’s Day to show how much you love your father. These days he’s content with us just buying him food or stocking up the fridge with chocolates and ice cream. It’s easy to please my dad these days, to which I am so thankful. So please don't judge me. Not all of us have perfect families. I love my dad, in my own way and will never wish him harm. I've made peace with my feelings for him. Allah knows best.  

In Sickness and In Health

Last weekend was the worst weekend ever. Was down with flu, fever and cough. My throat was swollen, which is pretty weird because I had my tonsils removed last year and didnt expect the throat to be swollen like that. My nieces and nephew has their flu and fever a few weeks back and I thought I could escape the bug but apparently not. I'm still having this dreaded flu but the throat is okay and I'm feeling a whole lot better.

Suddenly last night Sayang came down with a fever and I had to give her the fever meds. Poor darling. Thank god she didnt wake up so often. She just woke up once for feeding and then went back to sleep peacefully.

I was surprised with the number of pregnancy news this month. A colleague just told me she's 3 months pregnant, with twins!!! And there are no history of twins in her or her husb's family. Kuasa Allah...I'm so happy for her and it gives me hope that if she can get twins then maybe I can too..hehehehe...

My sister in law is also pregnant. No, not Hareez's mom but my other SIL in Kedah. This would be her 4th one, insyaAllah..

My nephew Laiq is already 6 months and looking very healthy and adorable! My buah hati Sayang is already 9 months and is so cheeky and her new hobby is sticking out her tongue!

Laiq

Sayang

Sayang & Laiq (L-R)

Hubby and I are still trying to get pregnant. One day at a time :)

Wordless Wednesday