Wednesday, November 30, 2005

A Woman's Worth

You could buy me diamonds
You can buy me pearls
Take me on a cruise around the world
Baby, you know I'm worth it

Dinner lit by candles
Run my bubble bath
Make love tenderly to last and last
Baby, you know I'm worth it

Wanna please, wanna keep, wanna treat your woman right?
Not just dough, better show, that you know she's worth your time
You will lose, if you choose, to refuse to put her first
She will and she can find a man who knows her worth!

Cause a real man knows a real woman when he sees her (when he sees her)
And a real woman knows a real man
Ain't afraid to please her (please her)
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first (first)
And a real man just can't deny
A woman's worth

That's just half of the lyrics to the song "A Woman's Worth" by Alicia Keys.

How much is a woman worth these days. Don't get me wrong. I'm talking about how much should a man pay for mas kahwin or dowry to marry a Malaysian woman in this day and age.

How much should a woman put as her mas kahwin? What is the standard price now?

Back then in the 90's if the girl is an SPM leaver then usually the girl’s parents would put RM5K as the mas kahwin. Nowadays I heard that even SPM leavers are worth RM10K provided she looks like Erra Fazira or Maya Karin.

If she is a university graduate then it would be between RM8K-RM10K now. Not possible it could reach till RM20K.

Kalau ada masters, lagilah mahal mak oi!

Some girls chose their birth date as the value of their maskahwin. So if you’re born on 25.12.1974, then your maskahwin would be RM251,219-74???????????!! Ya Allah! Can buy a nice 2-storey apartment with that kinda money! And would anyone in the right mind pay for such an amount. If you’re the Sultan or the brother of the Sultan of Brunei then probably you would.

But seriously, would a girl feel less worthy if the value of her mas kahwin is lower than what is priced in the market? Would a guy feel less manly if he couldn’t afford the mas kahwin fixed by the girl’s parents and had to resort to borrowing from a bank or relatives? Would the girl help the guy pay some of the mas kahwin to ease the burden a lil bit?

During my bother's engagement ceremony, when my mom asked the girl's parents how much is the mas kahwin, the father simply said, "Letaklah berapa yang rasa patut". That should be easy enough right? Wrong!! See, if you put low then they might get the impression that you dont think so highly of their daughter, which is not good to start off a marriage. But if you letak harga tinggi, then my brother will have to wait for a few more years before cukup duitla kan. I mean he's only been working for what, 2 years now?

I guess the key word here is compromise.

Bak kata orang tua-tua, “Kalau letak mahal sangat pun nanti tak ada orang nak, jadi anak dara tua ler jawabnyer!”


Captain Oats said...

Have a chat with your future hubby Sher. He's the one who's gonna come up with the money kan...? We've got to be realistic and reasonable... Worst case scenario is pick nice looking figure like 5555 and say it's your favourite number! :-)

Furthermore, we, women, worth much more than RM10,000 or RM88,888.88!! How can they put a figure on our head.... Sigh...

hazleen said...

Yeah just don't bother what others (ie. makcik2 or or tua2) gonna say... its us who will merana paying debts if we put HARGA mahal2....

Red Raven said...

Hmmm....getting married is always been a big responsibility but now, it is getting worst with the mas kahwin issue. I agree with the compromise thing but would parents be that understanding and would agree to compromise...and becos of mas kawin and nak grand wedding, we forgot the motive of getting married and celebrating love itself.We just need to know what is more important.....

izreen fara said...

mas kahwin usually follows the state, but its the wang hantaran that is usually the issue. best is to discuss way before the wedding and come to a compromise. but sometimes its best not to mention the price of one's hantaran value kalau tak kena accuse of menjual anak :D

Cosmic_GurL said...

Cap'n Oats
Yeah, thts a good idea. Maybe i'll ask my mum to put RM8274 i.e. my birthdate. Heheheh

You are so true! Those makciks are nowhere to be found if we are in trouble later on

Yeah, i think the couple should make both their parents understand that marriage is not suppose to be a burden to any party.

Alamak! Hehehe...Wang hantaran and not mas kahwin issit? Sorrylah, saya budak baru belajar :)

cikPijah said...

does the hantaran directly implies the worth of a woman or is it just to show the wealth of one's hubby to be. back to basic i suggest. have we ever asked ourself wht's the wang hantaran is for? i agree with hazleen laa.. wht's the point of high hantaran when u spend years paying off ur wedding debt. yg kaya lain citer la eh.

Anonymous said...

it seems someone is finding an excuse not to get married.

Cosmic_GurL said...

Cik Pijah - I think it's both la. Think the wang hantaran goes to the parents of the bride.

Anonymous - No of course not! Im looking forward to getting married actually :-)

cikOren said...

pd sy lah kan.. org letak hantaran mahal2 tu bergantung pd taraf kemampuan diorang lah..
kalau dah diorang kaya.. letaklah mahal2.. sebab mampu..