- There is no such thing as free sex. Eventually you pay for it.
- Never judge people by who they date – your own sex life is confusing enough without trying to figure out everyone else’s.
- Advice is like a sandwich. If you know someone is hungry, you can offer them a sandwich. They may even ask for a sandwich. But if you put the sandwich in front of them, and they don’t eat it, there’s nothing you can do. You can’t force someone to eat a sandwich.
- Emotionally, it’s better to be homicidal than suicidal. When you’re upset with a guy, at least know which way to point the gun (hahahahahahah! this is good!).
- Never ask a single person if they’re “seeing anyone special,” an unemployed person if they’ve found a job, or a married couple when they’re planning to have children. You’re not making conversation. You’re starting someone on the road to Prozac.
And my personal favourite...
- Men aren’t stupid, and you don’t need a complicated set of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here’s the only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything he can to keep you around. Anything.
-"A Total Waste of Make-up" by Kim Gruenenfelder-