Monday, February 06, 2006

Would You Like To Be My PASTA, baby?

Ever been hit by one of them awful pick-up lines before?

It happened a few years ago. I was out with 4 of my school friends, Jay, Kay, Elle and Em (of course bukan nama sebenar) and we decided to have a cuppa at Coffee Bean Jln Telawi, Bangsar. While we were sitting down chatting and laughing our arse off like nobody’s business (that’s what you get when you have 5 crazy single gurls on a nite out), these 2 really good-looking guys came in and it so happened that both of them are friends of Jay. They introduced themselves and one of them, Syed I think his name was sat right next to me. So I went about my usual friendly self and asked Syed a bunch of question about himself and he did the same thing and we hit it off. In the middle of the conversation, Jay got up and asked me to accompany her to the ladies. I knew something was up because that was a signal for us gurls. You don’t really need to ask a friend to accompany you to go to the toilet unless you wanna tell her that you can actually see her tits tilting the blouse or that the guy at the table is interested in you and wanna ask for your number. Since I was wearing a fairly decent blouse and there was no way you can see my tits from across the table so I figured Jay wanted to tell me that this Syed guy is interested in me. So I got up and we went to the ladies.
Jay then told me that Syed is married with a daughter and his wife expecting their second child. I was quite shocked because he doesn’t look like he’s married and there was no ring on his finger. So I asked Jay why she told me about Syed being married and all. She then said that Syed is a smooth talker and a charmer and that I should be careful not to fall for his tricks. Jay said that being married doesn’t stop him from having girlfriends on the side. Eh? Excuse me? We were only talking for about half an hour and believe me it takes longer for me to fall for someone. In any case, I thanked Jay for the warning and we went back to our table. Syed stood up and pulled out the chair for me like a true gentleman and I kept thinking no wonder women fall for this type of guys because small gestures like this do make a difference.

So we continued talking but I was a bit reserved and wasn’t as talkative as before for fear that I might send out the wrong signal. He noticed that and asked me what was wrong because I wasn’t as friendly as before. I then asked him if he’s married. He smiled and said yes he is and then asked me back is there anything wrong with having a conversation with a married man. Of course not I told him. He then turned to me and whispered softly,

“Sher, I have a very big appetite. I like to eat different things everyday. My favourite dish is fried rice. But I can’t have fried rice everyday, can I? Maybe I’ll have fried rice on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday but come Thursday I would like to eat something else like Mee Goreng or Fish and Chips or Pasta. So my question to you is, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY PASTA?”

Oh-My-Gawd! I think my jaw must have dropped all the way to my knee when I heard what he said. LOL! That must have been the worst pick up line ever in the history of pick up lines!!! Would I like to be his PASTA??? I mean I almost wanted to ask whether I look like spaghetti or a fettuccini!

I was biting my lips so hard to stop myself from swearing at this man and I really felt like kicking him in the groin or slapping his face for making such preposition. But then I thought it would be a waste of my time and energy because this man is so not worth me getting all worked up for. Besides he’s not my friend I sure as hell won’t be seeing him ever again, not if I can help it.

After he asked me whether I would like to be his pasta, I looked at him, smiled ever so sweetly and answered, “I’m sorry but a man like you should only be eating fried rice for the rest of your life. Pasta is just too good for you and out of your league. Stick to something you’re used to.” I got up, excused myself and went to get another cup of ice blended. By the time I got back to the table he was gone.

I mean, seriously…WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY PASTA? Worst pick-up line ever!

P/s : Met up with Angel Eyes over the weekend. Goojas woman! Hehehe...






26 comments:

Javard said...

hmmmmm.....hopefully its not the white sauce kinda pasta......hee hee....hidup gemilang!!!! Bila mau organize karaoke.

cikPijah said...

hahaha.. good answer girl!! at least he admitted that he's married unlike some who prefer to claim themselves "bujang" (as in bujang 2, bujang 3 etc)..

Cosmic_GurL said...

Javard - Euw!! This weekend karaoke joms. U organize la. Hehehe...Woohhooo Gemilang!

Cik Pijah - Ala, takleh nak mengaku bujang coz he's a friend of Jay. I think if Jay was not there sure dia mengaku bujang punyer

madnessinvain said...

Tapi Carbonara pun white sauce non?


Hhihihiihhi.

Freak & Geek said...

gal, i was luffing my heart out..
but pity the wife lah...
what lah men, can never get enuff of everything...

Desparil said...

hahahahaha.. that sounds so blardy corny even to me...

Angel Eyes said...

"would you like to be my pasta darling?"

if a man came to me in this way, definitely am gonna give him a good spanking, right in front of the people! Tu laa.. sapa suruh carik pasal sama angel eyes? i dun like you know.. hehe

Things like this always happen, whether we like it or not..

but it all depends on the individuals, some women will like it in this way, some not.

tepuk dada, tanya selera anda... betul tak?

as for me, no, thanks... am not interested!

wrong number bebeh!

P/S: me gorgeous? *blushing* aiyoohh... you're such a sweet darling person sher!

Cosmic_GurL said...

MIV - Double EUW!!! I feel like I need to take a shower now. LOL!

FnG - Wife will find out sooner or later, I have no doubt!

Des - Tell me about it!! Corny and yuckerest!

Angeleyes - U wanna give him a spanking? Nanti dia lagi naik shiok then how? LOL!

Angel Eyes said...

correct also, who knows he might get shiok shiok, then how laa kan?

err.. can report to the missus tak?

better kan? heeh

*evil eyes*

superdzu said...

hahaha...okay what 'pasta'...
luckily dia tak tanya...would you like to be my capati ke?
lagilah corny..

[Is]landa said...

sher, will u be my tempoyak?

[Is]landa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
zuhri said...

hahahahaha...i lurrrvvvvveeee your answer. patut ler dia terus cabut balik

Cosmic_GurL said...

Angeleyes - But I dunno the missus!

Superdzu - Hahaha...Tulah, thinking abt it now lucky he didnt ask me to be his yong tau foo ke or gulai masak rebung ke. Euw!

Ylanda - Awwww..Ill be your tempoyak if you'll be my budu :p

Zuhri - Hehehe..tenchiu! Tht guy deserved worst than wht I said to him kay...

trueblue said...

What an a** h***!! Ish, geramnya I dengar. Pandai you jawab..If it was me, I would be stunned beyond words. You go, girl :)

sic6sense said...

its better to have offers on the table than none.

bertique said...

huh??

ntah apa-apa ntah, baik ckp 'would you like to be my peanut butter :P'

hahaha

nice answer btw.

Cosmic_GurL said...

Trueblue - I was stunned for a while but then couldnt help it. Had to give it to him good!

Sic6sense - Ack! Id rather NOT have any offers than THAT kinda offer, thank you very much! :p

Bertique - I think he wanted smthing heavy and fulfilling kot, peanut butter only good for breakfast. Muahahahaha!

zuhri said...

besides ehem..pasta, what did u learn to cook during the long break?

KaiserSoze said...

Geez..if that's supposed to be a known "smooth-talker", then I agree with the observations that standards of malay men (am assuming here-since his name is syed) has gone from bad to worst!

zuhri said...

kaisersoze, hmm...he could be a mamak too :)

Lil' Miss Easydent said...

hey cosmic girl... *intonation a la typical malay romeo*

would u like to be my... laksa? juicy, sweet, sour and salty with generous condiments on top? ermmmm, you must be tasty....

(gelak guling-guling atas tanah)

Cosmic_GurL said...

Zuhri - I cooked Gulai Nangka. Nanti I letak pic kay. Hahahaha..he's not mamak la..Melayu asli!

Kaisersoze - U got it right! But ud be surprise how some women do fall for these kinda lines. Some of my gfs said wht he said was cute! Blergh!


Mommy Feline - Hahaha! Laksa?? Oh yeah bebeh! Pour the gravy on me and lick me dry! ;P

9 said...

so very the playaz! poyo, but still a playaz.

Shopper Mom said...

I think he'd be more insulted if u'd laughed out loud in his face. Sheesh... he's got some nerves to even come up with that kind of proposition. Obviously it's not his first time eh? Kesiannya his wife..

Princess Sparkle said...

“I’m sorry but a man like you should only be eating fried rice for the rest of your life. Pasta is just too good for you and out of your league. Stick to something you’re used to.”

HAHAHAHAAAA !!! You go gurl!! Whoooopa! ;-)