Friday, March 10, 2006

The little things...

This was one of my favourite dialogues in the movie “Wedding Singer” starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.

Julia: May I ask what happened with Linda?
Robbie: She wasn't the right one, I guess.
Julia: Did you have any idea she wasn't the right one when you were together?
Robbie: I should have. Uh, I remember we went to the Grand Canyon one time. We were flying there and I'd never been there before and Linda had, so you would think that she would give me the window seat but she didn't and... not that that's a big deal, you know. It's just there were a lot of little things like that. I know that sounds stupid...
Julia: Not at all. I think it's the little things that count.

We’ve all been in and out of love. When we break-up with the other person we often say, ‘I should have seen it coming” or “I knew the signs were there but I was too blinded by love to see it” or “I knew the relationship was doomed from the very beginning but the sex was really good so…”
  • Is it our fault for putting 100% effort in a relationship but in the end it didn’t turn out like how we had expected it to be?

  • Should the little things count or should we look at the bigger picture?

  • Have women/men nowadays become too sceptical when it comes to love that they feel the need to scrutinise every word or action that comes from the other person?

  • If the signs were there, why did we stay too long in the relationship and risk getting ourselves hurt?

29 comments:

superdzu said...

we are fools when it comes to love and hot looking guys with manly arms.

kan?
kan?
kan?

Cosmic_GurL said...

Hahahahaha! Yeah, even tho he has a brain the size of a peanut but who cares kan? Ppl cant see the size of his brain but ppl can definitely see the size of his arms! Seronok kasi org jeless ni. Heheheh

Myopia said...

oh hun...sungguh strike a chord with me. i've been in a relationship since forever and i didn't even know why.

Jeez.

but i'm glad i'm done with it.

princesswaffzonkle said...

We hope too much.

Freak & Geek said...

to me, it's becoz we wanted to believe that...
1.we r made for each other
2.he/she is our soulmate/jodoh
3.we will stay together happily ever after
4.he/she is THE ONE..

but then.. luckily i woke up from my dreams. of prince charming and fairy tales. oh, n that jerry maguire's line too. so overrated!
:-p

Cosmic_GurL said...

Myopia - I was too. For 4 long years. He never mentioned marriage and I nvr asked for fear I might scare him away. So I kept quiet and in the end he cheated on me. It's a painful experience but an experience nonetheless! :)

Princess - U think? But if we were given hope in the 1st place then shouldnt we be hopeful?

FnG - Yeah, I blame it on Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella. One kiss and everything will be alright and dandy. It doesnt work that way dammit!

Desparil said...

1. no. how can you be guilty of trying your best?

2. both. the little things will accumulate and make up the so called big picture.

3. probably.

4. many reasons. could be we're blinded by love. could be we hoped things would somehow work out. could be we were afraid of change. could be any number of things.


fuh.. for a minute there.. i kinda sounded.. wise.. must be the nasi kandar i had for lunch..

Cosmic_GurL said...

Des - What I meant by (1) is should we instead put only 50% effort so that we dont get too disappointed in case it didnt turn out well? As for (2), women usually look at the small things while men usually look at the bigger pic, hence a clash there.

Eh, I just had banana leaf for lunch at Kanna, PJ. Fuiyoo! Kari ketam power! Ngantuk giler skang siots!

Shopper Mom said...

very tricky indeed. during courtship, we r almost always blind to any faults.

1. nothing wrong with putting 100% effort but we must have realistic expectations.
2. don't sweat the small stuff.
3. imagine u'r in the other person's shoes. would u want all ur actions/words to be scrutinised?
4. sometimes we all have those wishful thinking that everything is going to be ok when in reality it doesn't necessarily turn out that way.

Cosmic_GurL said...

Shopper Mom - Say you've got 2 men who wants you. The first guy is not rich but very romantic i.e. picnic at the park, opens the door and pulls the chair out for you everytime, u know do the little things that makes you happy but he sure as hell cant afford to buy you Diors, TODS, Monolos or Tiffanys unlike the 2nd guy. Mind you both are really good guys. Who would you pick? Hehehe..Ini tiada kaitan dgn yang hidup atau mati kay...

Red Raven said...

To be hurt and yet to kow love is better rather than to never be in love. Each r/ship is a journey, we never know what we might come up with.I heard in a movie...Love is like black jack, you have to be willing to take a hit to get a chance to win...to get a 21, you must be willing to risk a hit rather than taking a stand at 17 to win a hand...do i make any sense?

captain oats said...

sometimes things just dont work out.... mebbe your 100% is only 40% in your partner's eyes... can't blame urself...

50 little things = 1 BIG picture! or 1 little thing being repeated every other day x 2 years...?

itu panggilnya mencari penyakit/pasal.... heheh

bcos we're too chicken to do anything and bcos we believe in Hope?

Anonymous said...

Cosmic gurl, drop me an email? Its biggie2006@gmail.com - would like 2 chat.

zuhri said...

like in the same movie, sandler sang "love sucks!". oh, that scene was hillarious, to have that song at a wedding reception.

cikPijah said...

i read ur questions! i think.. then.. aaarghhh.. wht the hell!! for the moment i'm so comfortable with this thick wall surrounding my heart holding its pieces. susahnye nak berchenta n stay berchenta ek?

madnessinvain said...

Aik, no cerita pasal Kat American Idol?

This shucks.

Hehehe.

Cosmic_GurL said...

Raven - Yeah it made sense but some people gets hit ALL the time and they dotn even win anything. Is there smthing wrong with these ppl? Why is it so easy for some ppl to find love and yet so hard for others?

Captain Oats - Yeah ure prolly right. Tapi yang tak tahan tu is the part yang kena repeat byk2 to make 1 big pic. Hehehehe

Anonymous - Errmm..do I know you?

Zuhri - Hehehehe..I love that movie!!

Cik Pijah - To fall in love mmg senang but to keep it together now tht takes a lot of effort! :)

MIV - Wooohooo! Top 12 bebeh!! Kat has got a big butt. Thts why u likey huh? Hehehe

Desparil said...

i believe that we should always give 100%.. so that whatever happens we can be like william hung and say "i've done my best, i have no regrets"..

if you only give 50% and it fails, you'd always wonder.. if only i'd given my all, would it have worked out?

Angel Eyes said...

err.. after reading all the comments here i hereby assumed that.. jeng, jeng, jeng.. (overdose with coffee this morning!)

1. it's good to put 101% of effort in a relationship coz if you 'tak bersungguh sungguh', how u gonna know the result rite? Nobody's fault if the r'ship didnt turn up well as both parties have done their very best. Don't wait then So, go for it! Go, go!!!

2. Little + bigger pictures. Both counts.. i believe.

3. Nope.

4. Some people may feel insecured if he/she leaves the other half, knowing that maybe they might not find another person like his/her anymore. They cling to their partner very much. That's why they rather stay for so long rather than be alone. And some people i know will be very shameful if he/she doesn't have a partner. They will say, "Malu siot!"
Apa yg malunye? hehe... i also dunno.

Opppss... this is the result of having too much coffee early in the morning.. =)

Cosmic_GurL said...

Des - U made sense there bruder!

Angeleyes - I have some friends who are like what you mentioned in (4). Their bfs are jerks but they still hang on for fear of being alone. That is just aint right!

trueblue said...

I can so relate to the 4th comment from AngelEyes. I was like that before. I knew he did bad things but I still held on to the relationship...thinking I could change him. I wanted so bad to make it work and prove to people that I wasn't on a rebound.

Life sucked big time then. Thank God its all over..

Shopper Mom said...

cosmic_gurl:
aik? ini trick question ke apa ni? hehehe...

actually i hv already made that choice. he isn't a hopeless romantic, nor is he filthy rich to buy me expensive things to woo me. but he sacrificed a lot to make me happy and that's enough for me :).

cool eye said...
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bad man said...
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low class mental said...
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no brain leader said...
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run away said...
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malaysia is no future said...
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Cosmic_GurL said...

Trueblue - Im glad things worked out well for you :) No matter how much we say we wouldnt let ourselves get sucked into a toxic relationship, it's easier said than done, kan?

Shopper Mom - Waahh!! I'm happy you got what you want :)
Ini bukan trick question la..hehehe