Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Story of a man who thinks with his D**k

Mr. Dick : My wife is pregnant. I don’t know who else to talk to. You’re my friend so I’m unloading this on to you.

Friend : Your wife is pregnant. Isn’t that good news?

Mr. Dick : Errm NO! I’m getting married to my girlfriend in 2 weeks time and my wife is pregnant. No, that’s not good news.

Friend : Ooookaay then. Why the hell did you have sex with your wife in the first place?

Mr. Dick : I had a fight with my gf and she broke it off. Then my wife came over to the apartment and one thing led to another and 2 months later wham! she’s pregnant!

Friend : When did you get back together with your gf?

Mr. Dick : 2 weeks after I slept with my wife.

Friend : I thought you’re getting a divorce?

Mr. Dick : We’ve filed the divorce papers. The hearing is next week. Shit! Shit! Shit!

Friend : Are you getting married to the girl whom you said was the love of your life?

Mr. Dick : Yes! When I fell in love with her, she was married at that time but I wasn’t. I tried to make her leave her husband but she’s just not that kind of person. Then her husband cheated on her. She filed for divorce. I got married 3 months after her divorce became final.

Friend : How come you didn’t know she was getting a divorce?

Mr. Dick : Because after we professed our love for each other she told me not to contact her again. She said she can’t leave her husband even though she loves me. So I let her go. Then I met my wife. I didn’t really love my wife wholeheartedly. I married her coz my parents pressured me to get married. I know I know I’m a jerk and it’s not fair on her but I thought I lost the love of my life. So I settled.

Friend : So you got married and then the love of your life got divorced?

Mr. Dick : Yes!!

Friend : Does your gf know you’re married?

Mr. Dick : Yes!! She said she would only marry me if I divorced my wife which I’m willing to do. And now this happens! She’s not gonna marry me if she knows my wife is pregnant. I’m gonna loose the love of my life, again! Shit! Shit! Shit!

Friend : What do you want me to say?

Mr. Dick : Tell me what to do!

Friend : *Smirk*. You’re in deep shit man! Just roll over and die.

28 comments:

sixtysixty said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
the ectopy said...

Hmm...I know a married man who is still in love with his married ex-girlfriend.

He is trying very hard to forget this woman. He even thrashed all cards and gifts he received from this woman hoping to erase her from his life.

Sometimes, I could feel his pain, and I secretly hope he would end up with his ex one day. I know, it wouldn't fair to his wife, but seeing him suffers...Most of the things he sees remind him of this woman.

Lesson to be learnt is:
Always marry the person you are in love with. Never settle for second best.

Yours Truly ... XOXO said...

Hahaha...just roll over n die! ;P

EDDY PURNAMA SPARROW said...

ok kali ni im not going 2 be on the guys side....

hopefully this thing will never happen 2 me....dilemma with 2 women? nak fall in love ngan sorang pun susah

trueblue said...

True story ke ni? But I wouldn't be surprised if it is.

Mr Dick is definitely in deep shit. I wouldnt want to be in his shoes.

By the way, I agree with The Ectopy's lessons learnt. Unless ada major complication, try to avoid marrying the second best. Takut ada problem later.

Freak & Geek said...

HOHOHO.... well, we human love to complicate things kan?

Lil' Miss Easydent said...

jantan sebegini harus dihapuskan dari muka bumi ini. well, the female version as well, not just the jantan. they give love and marriage a bad name.

13may said...

hehhe...cari bala:D

ti.e.na said...

yeah he shud roll over and die.

M.I.S.S.Y said...

kan... as what i always says, men sumtimes use their cock to think...

and they say, u think its eazy to do that...

lelaki..lelaki...*sigh*

sixtysixty said...

missy, we use cock for everything!

Cosmic_GurL said...

Ectopy - I know a lot of married men who have affairs with their ex-gfs. Maybe i should get myself a new set of friends :P

yours truly - A good solution dont u think so?


eddy sparrow - Hahahaha...good things happen to those who wait my dear Mr. Sparrow :)

trueblue - Yeap, true story. The prob is a lot of ppl are easily pressured to do things they dont want to do like getting married to someone for the sake of getting married...yang kesiannyer is the other party la..

FnG - Oh yeah! Lagi complicated, lagi best! Ada challenge :)

easydent - like this la..if there is no demand, there will be no supply. but then again in Msia overflow of supply!

13may - Sometimes, they dont think of it as bala coz it's always more exciting when it's forbidden :)

tiena - That's what I said too

missy - apa plak sometimes, ALL the time la dear..hehehe

sixty - see, case in point! :p

DiaHarris said...

isshkk..ishhkk..ishhkk...
kenapa suka cari masalah??

pugly said...

& they want to know why some people do not want to get married.

Desparil said...

it's all the parent's fault.... :P

Winged Acrophobic said...

Greetings cosmic_gurl! Great intro for a newcomer like moi. Is Mr. Dick the dude who thinks he shags with a 16 year-old's libido?

akula said...

Hmm, NO COMMENT! Next post please.;)

D.N.A.S said...

Eh, who's the next victim for this tag?
Maybe the title should be 'Shit Happens'.
I'm not siding anybody, it's just that when it comes to Matters Of The Heart, it's difficult to be rational or behave like how the society expects us to be.
1) We may have feelings for people other than our spouses, but it doesn't mean we have to act on it. Well, that's according to our Asian values.
2) We have feelings for people other than our spouses, why don't we do something about it, if we’re sure we’d be happier. Hmmm... that's according to some liberated thinkers.

Choose which one you’d go for.

thewailer said...

He should go to hell, a man with no principle and pride.

noone's perfect but mr.dick here needs an axe in the head.

Cosmic_GurL said...

DiaHariss - Sbb they like the thrill!

pugly - well, not all men are likle Mr. Dick..there are some decent ones like Desparil. Muahahahahaha!

Desparil - Of course! Blame other people la kan...

WA - Hahahaha! Bingo! He's over 30 but below 35. He seems to think life begins at 30 :)

akula - No comment? Ahem..ader terkena batang hidung sendiri ke? Hehehe...

Dnas - This is not actually the continuation of the story from Sixty's blog. Will do the tag next week. Im still looking for a victim to do the next tag..Know any blogger who is a good storyteller?

Both choices make sense. Susah jugak kan?

Cosmic_GurL said...

thewailer - I would love to tell him that but he looked like he's in a real dilemma so...in any case, serves him right coz sapa suruh cari prob!

bertique said...

hahaha damn funny.

Monster Mom said...

Why not ask him to make another lady pregnant? That will surely complicate things more... sure best gilar...

UglyButAdorable said...

complicated...complicated...men!! and women too...

suzequatro said...

yea..roll over and die! moron.

Cosmic_GurL said...

Betik - Yeah yeah, it's funny coz it didnt happen to you :)

Monster mom - Hehehe...if he makes another woman pregnant I think he's gonna jump off a building for sure!

UBA - In this day and age, apa benda yang tak complicated nyer, kan?

suze - A lot of angry women bloggers in here :p

Hurnain said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
9 said...

wat la pening2.

make gf, wife no.2.

wait for a while then go on the lookout for wife no.3 and wife no.4.

u the MAN!