Friday, November 07, 2008

Where's My Money Tree?



“Don't you worry there my honey

We might not have any money

But we've got our love to pay the bills”

That was some of the lyrics from the song “You and I” by Ingrid Michaelson. Hmmm…Can you survive on love alone or is it all about the money, all about the dum dum dum dum dum dum?

I posted the lyrics on my FB status and I’ve got some interesting comments. Some went “aaaaaawwwwwww…” but others have pretty strong opinions about how important money is and that you can’t live on love alone. To each his/her own I guess. Some people are fairly content earning less income in a job that they love like working for the NGOs. Some doesn’t mind slaving themselves in the office for a 5 figure salary. Is there a balance to all of this?

We are presented with choices everyday when it comes to earning or spending money.

If you were given a choice to work overseas like in Sudan or Iraq and earn a 5 figure salary but your spouse refuse to come with you, would you still go ahead and accept the job? Would you be willing to leave your spouse and kids behind? Some would say you’re being very noble to make that sacrifice for your family. But is it worth it? Are you being noble or selfish?

It’s all comes down to making the right decision for yourself. I know we can’t live on love alone. That only happens in a fairy tales. But I would like to think that I would rather live moderately and enjoy the simple things in life than working to death just to earn a 5 figure salary.

At the end of the day, you won’t be able to enjoy all that money anyway if you’re forever stressed out. Your partner will also be stressed out looking at you stressing out. You would eventually drop dead. And that ain’t fun at all.

Have a good weekend everyone!

22 comments:

kruel said...

I'll take the love anytime over money but if you can have both why not...

The Pisces Man said...

Love is more important than money, but not to the extent it's ok not to have any money, because without money, love can't survive.

If I were to choose between the two, it would have to depend on the situations. In the case of leaving family behind just to earn a 5-figure income, I'd say no...especially if I were to take up the offer willingly.

I know someone whose wife chose to work in one of those Middle Eastern countries, I forgot which... and now she wanted to extend. The thing is they already have two small kids. The youngest one is usually picked up from his sitter, very late at night bcoz the father is too tired to take care of two kids all night after work. For me, this is a good example of choosing money over love (for the hubby and the kids). Even if the hubby allows, but can the kids say their minds out loud? Surely, they need their mother..

Hmmm... u gave Iraq as an example? Bad example I'd say...Weih dude, offer me a 10-figure income and even if wife can come along, I still wouldn't wanna go there, well for the obvious reasons lah kan...

maszuzu said...

money ain't everything...butu it's part of everything that I can say...

Lynn said...

they say money is the root to all evil, but love alone don't pay no bills.... the real thing is to strike a balance.

of course i'd take family and peace over heady joy of holding a 5figure paycheck at the end of every month, but sometimes money can buy the things that make you happy, or buy moments and atmospheres that make you happy. man, i'd really need that kinda paycheck to really be able to tell now, wouldn't i?

Ms B said...

Some people think that they are being practical when it comes to achieving certain level of comfort. There is a theory that most people use, 'why dont we sacrifice now for a better future later'.

However, often people tend to forget what matter most to their heart while pursuing their goals. They forget to smell or even notice the roses along the journey. By the time they realise, it is already too late. The baby's first step, the kid's school performance, ur partner's good or bad day etc.

It is all about choices. So if they feel that working their ass to get that luxury, then by all means they should accept the consequences that come along.

Each time I'm offered a good role back home, the first question that I'd ask, "can u guarantee that I can see and spend time with my daughter everyday?" Most times, they couldnt answer as they know with that role, responsibility and package, the chances are slim.

u keep well dear!

rozzdabozz said...

c_gurl,

if you have no money no one will love u....especially the financial institutions where u borrow money from them to buy house and finance the purchase of your favorite car..ahhh...also the credit cards companies, friends yadayadayada..

i used to live in good suits and LV suit cases...but i have chosen to leave all of them for a modest life which is harder but very much calmer..

...still...money is the best insurance to live happily ever after..8-)

cheers..

hunny said...

Money can't buy hapiness, but it can be hard to be happy without it.

We need to find out "how much is enough" and always be thankful for what we already have.

Anonymous said...

Love or money? I totally choose love, respect and most of all, loyalty. My husband and I are both students in Ireland and we've been given loads of advice from people to continue working here just to get "all the money in" so we wouldn't have to work our asses off when we get back to Malaysia.

Our choice? We're going back and there's nothing that can stop us.

So what if we get 6000 euros a month if we work as interns here? The country is depressing, it's totally cold and our whole family is back at home where our heart is. I know a doctor who's been working as an intern here for about a year, owns a BMW 6 series and has almost 50,000 euros in his bank and doesn't know what to do with it. Figures.

Cosmic_GurL said...

kruel - some ppl are lucky to have both but most of the time ppl are not that lucky

TPM - A mother who is willing to be away from her kids just to earn a lot of money??? Hmmm...i rarely come across tht scenario...how la she tahan not seeing her kids???

maszuzu - The things is when it comes to making a decision, i.e. love or money, what would your choice be?

lynn - Yeah I guess until ure in tht situation i.e. either earning loads of money or be with your family then you wouldnt know how to strike tht balance. Yes, we need money to make us happy but how much is enough?

Ms B - Yes ure right. Some parents nowadays compensate not spending time with their children by buying their children whatever they ask for. They think the reason they work so hard is to provide a better life for their children. But most of the time what their children really needed for some attention from their parents. We tend to see the bigger picture but forget about the small lil things. Then when the children grow up they become just like their parents. The neverending circle..

RDB - When one has no money then one must learn to live moderately and not beyond their means. My husb has no credit cards, dont intend to apply for any and he's happy. I on the other hand think how can you live without one???? Hehehe...

hunny - I dont know anyone who says, "I have enough money already and therefore I'm going to take it easy"...to me ppl always want more..thts human nature...

Anon - Im surprised you chose to come back and not work there for several years..i knw some parents who actually persuaded their children NOT to come back to Msia and try to earn loads by working overseas...
I guess u know what is more important and your priority in life. Good for you :)

valisaiskandar said...

I choose both :P anyone who thinks they have only one choice on this matter is an idiot. I think more important than money is attitude about money. I was raised since small to know it is not how much $$$ you have (or make) that makes your life good; it is how you use the money - to live, spend, sustain, save, invest - on yourself and on your asset to make it more. and that is how you become happy - by knowing what you want, have and be at peace with your choices no matter what others think ;-)
It is the same with your life partner - will you be with someone who is stupid about money? Or someone who forged your signature to get loans so you can buy a new car, Wii or HD tvs? I won't but a very good friend of mine would and she continues to work her ass off to pay off the loan he puts in her name.

j or ji said...

i love HATE and i hate LOVE.

duit sentiasa jadi punca tekanan perasaan.heh.
boleh buat aku hilang pedoman!

Dade Ghost said...

U want love, u dont need money.

U want money, u find knowledge.

U want both, u have to have more time.

U want more time, u have to limit your life quest.

In the end, we make so much excuses! lets just do it, whatever makes us happy....

Cosmic_GurL said...

Valisa - Yalah mmg we all want both but no way we can get it..well for most people they only have to be content with one or the other.

jorji - Beb, kalau orang tak reti nak manage duit jer akan kena tekanan perasaan :)

DG - U want love but dont need money? Camna tu? Camna nak kawin if takder duit? :P

Desparil said...

you need to consider the big picture. if being away from your family for a couple of years can earn enough that you never have to work again.. how?

some will say it's worth it and others will say no. it's a judgment call lah.

akula said...

Hard to say.

But I choose money. 3-4 years should be enough for:-

1. Settle loan rumah.
2. Tabung pelajaran anak-anak.

Got to be practical.

D.N.A.S said...

I choose love. Rezeki ada di mana-mana.

gravtkills said...

i think it complements each other

darlene said...

may be we should try to have both.
(amount & sources depends on personal choices)

i'm single (ok, don't mean this to be an advert. lols) but i can find lots of ways to be happy with my life but if i miss my paychecks, i'll be evicted babeh!

p/s but yeah, i think i'm still loved by family and friends. may be i'll go crazy without it.

KaiserSoze said...

It was actually interesting as I was in the same predicament. When I got an offer to move, I thought (from a money-centric point of view of course) it would be good if wifey stayed back home and work (to of course pile on the dosh) and my son to continue his education back home too (since its cheaper). But in retrospect, I am so glad that we chose to move together instead (albeit last minute) coz no matter how much the moolah is, nothing beats just sitting and watching TV with the wife on the left and the kid on the right.

valisaiskandar said...

Sher,
you must go with him so you'd both be at peace - that way you can both have love and $$$.
It might not be a glamourous posting but it is the key to enter expatriation realm. Once he is in, the sky is the limit. Because it will look good on his resume. From now on not only he can negotiate at a higher level; he will be seen as valuable as he is prepared to move. And people who have these on their resume can negotiate on their terms. I know I was there - both as the expat and the wife of an expat.
For yourself,you'd be able to do things which you may not have time to do when you're chasing your own pavements. and you'd be exposed to a different life, a different set of crowd. This would be invaluable! And if liek me, you never had time to watch TV before - you can now do it. I finally got to see the big deal of knightrider, mcgyver and A team NOT LOL!!!

1309 said...

Well, It depends on what is important to you..as for me, I quit my job to follow my hubby who was posted overseas. Even though I had a good career prospect going on, I chose my family. Even now, we are back in Malaysia, I chose not to work to be home with the kids. Not that I don't regret that decision once in a while but hoping my sacrifice will bring a lot of good things in our life...

Cosmic_GurL said...

Des - Being away from family is the heardest part..kalau kumpul duit byk2 pun but yr spouse suddenly ter"fall in love" with someone else, parah jugak tu...

akula - Hmmm...and it doesnt bother u tht ure leaving yr wife and kids behind?

dnas - Yes. Rezeki mmg ada di mana2...cuma how much rezeki is the issue here :)

darlene - We all will try to achieve both but like i said before, not everyone is lucky enough to have both :)

kaiser - Hey ure back!!! Hehehe...yeah i think u made the right decision too :)

valisa - Hahahaha..funny la you..eh no lah, im not in the predicament that ure talking abt there...but good to know the perks tht comes with being an expat :)

1309 - Most women will follow their husb and choose family over money...and also becoz maybe we dont trust our husb 100% to let him be on his own...