The State of Being

Song on replay - Hey, Soul Sister by Train. I love the lyrics...plus it makes me smile...

DVDs watched - Daybreakers, Shutter Island, Gamer and Did You Hear About the Morgans?

Book I'm currently reading, very very slowly - A Colossal Failure of Common Sense : The Incredible Story of the Collapse of Lehman Brothers.

Last movie watched in cinema - Alice In Wonderland.

Can't stop Tweeting.

Hubby is pestering me to enter the KL Marathon on 26th June 2010. The 5km "fun" run. Since when is running a fun thing to do, hmmmm?

Of Edward and a movie marathon

I am thankful for friends who acknowledge the fact that I am crazy about Edward Cullen. No, not the actor Robert Pattinson who plays Edward but the real Edward Cullen from the book. My friends threw us (another friend and I who celebrated our birthday in Feb) a surprise Twlight/New Moon theme birthday lunch at Food Foundry yesterday. Food was so-so but I was in great company. Thank god for lovely friends!

I watched Percy Jackson last weekend. For those who read the book, they might be a tad disappointed because there were few scenes from the book that were not shown in the movie. I was looking forward to seeing Poseidon in his Hawaiian shirt but that wasnt in the movie. But all in all it was a very entertaining how.

I also watched Valentine's Day. I was however very disappointed with the movie. Maybe because there were so many famous actors that they didnt develop the storyline well. Love Actually to me is still the best romantic-comedy-drama movie I've ever seen. It's really hard to top that one. He's Not That Into You was good but still not as good as Love Actually.

The Wolfman was not as scary as I thought. There were few scenes that made me screamed and jumped off my seat but still not scary enough. The transformation scene was not that impressive either.

So, what shall I watch next?

Of Wagyu and Chippendale Dance

I am so friggin sleepy. Had to wake up early to go to work as I have to make a presentation to my department. Thankfully it went well. I get so nervous everytime I have to present in public. Considering I have been presenting my cases before a judge when I was practicing, I should not get so nervous. Judges throw files, bosses dont...well, at least my boss doesnt throw any files at us lah.

I can't bloody stop yawning right now. Help me!

So yesterday was my birthday. Hubby took me to Jake's Charbroiled and I ordered the 300gm wagyu beef. Oh-Am-Gee! It was so succulent and tender and delicious and I managed to finish it off..Hahahaha! Amazing right? He got me a necklace with an alphabet "S" pendant which I absolutely love, famous amos cookies (my husband loves to feed me) and a very cute card. Last night, I was so busy preparing for my presentation this morning that I forgot to make him do the Chippendale dance. Hahaha! That was the intention actually but somehow I totally forgot! Lucky him. I'm so gonna make him do the dance on my next birthday. Seriously.

Even though my birthday is officially over, I'm still busy replying "thank-yous" to everyone on facebook and to those who sent me birthday wish via text messages. I'm so thankful I have so many wonderful friends and I love them to bits. Hubby always say that he never gets birthday wishes as many as I do (even before FB) and I told him the reason for that is because his birthday falls on Labour Day. I mean it's a public holiday so people tend to forget their friend's birthday unless they're in the office.

I am seriously falling off my chair now because of this sleepiness. I can hardly open my eyes! Okay I'm off to make some coffee now. Hopefully that will keep me awake till balik time.

p/s : I'm reading Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief as fast as I can...hopefully I can finish it before the movie comes out.

Crap and other bullshit

I need to do something to cheer myself up. Everything just seems to either bore me or irritate me nowadays. My friends say maybe I need to get away so when I come back I will feel energised and refreshed. Yeah right! Like that is going to happen. Usually after you come back from a holiday, you need another holiday to recover from your previous one. It's neverending!

I am not suffering from depression. I live a well-balanced life I should think. But sometimes it is just so hard to get out of bed. What is wrong with me?? Even my husband could not cheer me up sometimes. It's just frustrating for me and for him too I guess because when he tells me something my mind just wonders off and i ended up not registering whatever he said. And that of course annoys him, which in turn annoys me.

I just have this feeling you know...like I can't pinpoint what is bothering me but I just feel so bothered! Been feeling like this for a few weeks now. It's an annoying feeling to have.

Maybe I've been feeling this way because I'm turning 36 next week. On the 8th Feb to be exact. But the thing is I've never been depressed about turning a year older because I really believe that age is just mind over matter, you know if you don't mind then it won't matter?!

I think I am just afraid of getting older and not getting pregnant...like ever. Yeah, yeah belum rezeki lagi, I know the speech. It's just so bloody annoying when i think about it. It would be so much better if as we get older, our womb gets younger, don't you think so? Then I don't have to worry about all that biological clock is ticking crap.

Oh crap. I am going to be 36 next week and I am terrified. i am so bloody terrified. God help me please.

Love.Makes.You.Dizzy

Roses are red

Violets are blue

The best decision I've ever made

Was by marrying you...

Happy 3rd Wedding Anniversary my dear husband...may we have many more anniversaries to celebrate...

I'll Be There

You know how when something bad happens to you, people around you try to console you by saying things like “I know how you feel” or “You have to be strong” or “Everything will be okay”? Do you feel consoled or does it irritate the hell out of you?

Most of the time it would irritate the hell out me especially if I know for a fact that person has never gone through what I have gone through but acts as if she/he knows what she/he is talking about. I would be tempted to slap her/him, I can tell you that. As much as you want to help and I’m sure you have good intentions but when you are trying to console a person you have to be mindful of what you say. I don’t know about other people but when I’m pouring my heart out, I would expect the other person to just keep quiet and listen and not offer any advice. Not yet. I also expect that person not to jump in and say, “I know how you feel!” and start telling me her sad story and expect me to feel better because something bad had happened to her too (albeit not the same as what happened to me) and I should be relieved because I’m not the only person suffering here. I think there should be a course on how you should console a person and if you don’t have the necessary “tool” or “tact” then you shouldn’t attempt to! You will only make it worse.

If a friend just told you that her husband had cheated on her with another women and she’s devastated, the last thing you should say to her is, “I know how you feel” when in fact you’ve never gone through such ordeal. You don’t know the feeling of being lied to and betrayed and saying things like that will only make your friend angry at you because she will think you’re insensitive. You will never fully know how it feels until such things happen to you. And please don’t start shooting your mouth off by telling your friend to leave her husband and get a divorce. If you’re trying to console someone in that situation, you need to keep your head straight and not get angry. Your friend is counting on you to give good advice and telling her to leave the bastard and get a divorce is NOT good advice. Oh yes, the advice goes the same for the men too. Please don’t go asking your friend to leave his wife and sleep with a hooker to get back at her.

As a friend, as much as you want to beat her husband up for hurting your friend and urge her to leave the bastard, at that moment you need to keep your opinions to yourself. It’s not about what you want. It’s about what’s best for your friend. What if later she decides to get back together with her husband and give him a second chance? You never know. How many times have you reminded your spouse that if you ever find out that he cheated on you with another woman then you would leave him and get a divorce? It’s not that simple, is it? A human heart is mysterious and complex. When someone had done something which you think is so unforgiveable, somehow you would find yourself forgiving that person. Not right then and there but slowly you will. You will if he shows remorse and willing to change. After all, doesn’t everybody deserve a second chance? I’m not saying it’s easy and some people may decide to throw in the towel and I’m not saying it’s wrong to do that. To each her/his own. What I’m trying to say is life is not always black and white. The sooner you realise it the better life will be for you.

If she asked you what she should do and you honestly don’t know what to do then just say so. Your friend is vulnerable and she is relying on you for direction at that moment but if you don’t know what to say then be quiet, rather than say something you will regret later. Tell her to be calm and tell her she needs to decide what’s her next course of action would be. You can only guide her to the right path, give her all the options available and tell her you will support her no matter what. What you cannot do is hold her hand and make her do what you think she should do. She has to decide her own fate.

Now if a friend had just lost someone very dear to her like her dad, her mom, her child or her husband the same rule applies. Don’t be saying, “I know how you feel” if you’ve never lost someone dear to you. And no, losing your cat or your dog is not the same thing, even though you loved your pet like a family member. Just offer your condolences and tell her if she ever needs someone to talk to or share feelings with then you’re there for her.

Don’t ask her to be strong all the time because sometimes she just can’t do that. She needs to feel like she can be vulnerable with you. If you can make her forget her pain even for a while then that is good enough. Pray that she will get through this.

Okay. Now as a person going through the above situations, sometimes you need to cut your friend some slack. There is a reason why you went to your friend and confided in her in the first place. It must be because you fully trust her. It’s not easy seeing a friend suffer, you know. Your heart breaks everytime you see her cry. So if your friend somehow said the wrong thing, just remember that she is also in a difficult situation because she has never felt how you felt and there is no book that can guide her into saying the “right” things. So, if your friend tells you to cut off the bastard’s ball don’t go and do it la. She’s just saying that because she’s angry that someone is hurting you. But if she says, “I know how you feel” when you clearly know she doesn’t then I give you the permission to slap her.

Some people can get through difficult situation on their own and some need friends to alleviate the pain. If you’re one of those who think can handle it on their own, then don’t go telling a friend about your problem. You’re only putting unnecessary burden/pressure on her to say the “right” things to you.

Of Ramadhan and Tok Ayah

First of all I want to wish my fellow bloggers Selamat Berpuasa & Selamat Bertawarikh.

Oh wow. I cannot believe it has been a month since my last post here. Don’t worry folks, I’m still alive and well. I’ve just been so uninspired to write. Something did happen to me but I can't really blog about it as it is very personal and I'm trying to get over it. In due time, InsyaAllah...

My boss is leaving us to follow her husband to India. Her husband has received a very good offer and they’re going middle of September. I’m going to miss my boss. Seriously. She’s such a great boss. She doesn’t micro-manage and she actually trusts her staff’s capabilities in performing their jobs. I think I am still in denial and in shock that she’s leaving us. We have no idea who is replacing her and that is a scary thought.

Remember I blogged about my grandpa a few months back? How he is like after my grandma passed away? Well, a few weeks ago both his legs were swollen and he couldn’t walk. My grandpa has diabetes and we think that may be the reason for the swell. But personally I think it’s because he doesn’t walk around as much now. When my grandma was still alive she would actually force my grandpa to exercise by taking strolls around the house. Now that she’s no longer around, my grandpa would rather sleep the whole day. He’s still pining for her. I can tell because when we talk about her I can see the sadness on his face. Plus, whenever we wanted to bring him to KL (he lives in Sg Petani) he would always decline. He’d rather stay at his own house. My mom thinks the reason he doesn’t want to leave the house is because the last time he came to KL he forgot to bring my grandma’s photo. So when he woke up he felt lost and restless. So this time around whenever we want to bring him to KL we made sure that we pack my grandma’s photo and her kain batik in his bag. I’m happy to report that my grandpa is recovering well and undergoing physiotherapy at the moment.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Or do you think things just happened randomly that sometimes it’s hard for you to comprehend the reason behind it? Would you rather know something that could break your heart thereafter or would you rather be in the dark? I know a lot of people would say knowing is better but at what cost?
Ramadhan couldn’t come at a better time. I am going through an emotional roller coaster right now and I think fasting helps clear my head so I don’t make rash decisions that I may regret later in the future.

I just hope I made the right decision and may god give me strength to endure whatever that comes my way.