F.R.I.E.N.D.S.T.E.R. Baby!!!

This is a looooooong posting so don't say I didn't warn you guys.

My One-year anniversary with the boyfriend is coming up together with my 32nd birthday (oh dear Lord, I am O.L.D. or at least I feel like it) in February. How time flies when we’re having fun huh?

I sometimes dread it when some of my not so close friends asked me how I met the bf. It’s not like I am ashamed to tell them how, it’s just that some of the technologically challenged ones won’t really understand. So I would just tell them I met the bf through friends. It’s not a lie, it is partially true. Okay, okay. I met the bf through…F.R.I.E.N.D.Ster. There I said it. There is nothing to be ashamed about I know but trust some people to laugh and make a mockery out of it. Hmmpphh!

Anyway I joined Friendster since April 2004 because my good friend, Leen was constantly on my back asking me to put my profile and pic up. She said most of our friends are on it and it’s a good way to get in touch with them. So I finally put my biodata and a few pics up and after that I got hooked on it coz more and more friends requested to be added up as friends (you can pester them to write glowing testimonials about you! Hehehe). So now I have got like 150 smthing friends in my list. That’s nothing kay cos my cousins (yeah, I accidently found out that 10 of my cousins are on friendster so it’s a good chance to see how their bfs look like and there’s smthing to talk about during raya every year...heheh) have got like more than 400 people added in their list of friends! Like is it possible for a 17 year old to have that many friends???

So one fateful day, early February 2005 if I’m not mistaken, this not yet bf from Sarawak sent me a message to my friendster asking me how I was and yada yada yada. And I replied his message. And not more than 5 minutes later, he replied back. So we were sending messages to each other back and forth for quite a while. A week later i.e. after my birthday I think, I told the not yet bf that I was going on leave for a few days and that I have no internet connection at home thus I couldn’t check my e-mails. He then asked me for my number. Seriously I didn’t thought long about whether I should give him my number or not becos I checked his friendster page inside out and there were no bad testimonials or semi/full naked pics of girls on his page. So pheww! He’s not a pervert or a psycho. If he had turned out to be one then I guess I can always change my number and move to another state or something. He called me that night and we talked for 6 hours!!! Yeap, KL-Sarawak, man!! And the next night I called him up and we talked again on the phone for another 6 hours! I tell ya, Maxis kaya raya that month okay. Aside from the telephone calls, there were like hundreds text messages flying about.

I guess I already felt something. I didn’t know what I was feeling but I remembered I felt totally comfortable talking to him, like I can bare my soul and tell him everything about me. I didn’t have any reservation because I felt like nothing was gonna happen between us anyway cos we were separated by the South China Sea. I would NEVER hook up with someone outside KL/PJ let alone Sarawak! Plus I could never learn how to speak their language cos it sounded funny to me. Yeah right! Spoke too soon.

So we talked about our past relationships, the kind of movies/music that we like, politics (hahaha…betul la!) and about our family problems. In that 2 days, I have learned so much about this man and I was beginning to fall for him. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that he’s one year younger than me but so what, right? Age does not matter when it comes to love. I mean a 68 year old woman can marry a 30 something year old man so hey, I was not spooked! So the next day, while we were talking on the phone I did something I would never thought I would do. I asked him THE QUESTION that a woman should not be asking unless they have been on at like least 50 dates with the guy. And don’t forget, we have not even met each other yet so asking him the question is like committing relationship suicide.

I asked him, “Where do you think this is heading?” He then asked me what I meant. I told him I liked him and I asked him how he felt about me. He said he liked me too. Okay, round one over. I told him I am too old to be playing games and I want to be direct and straight to the point. I told him I don’t do long distance relationship because I have trust issues. I must have someone physically present and tangible for me to feel that I am in a relationship. I told him I can’t put one foot in a relationship unless I know there’s a good chance of the other foot crossing over (okay maybe I didn’t say that exactly but it was along those lines). I said if he wants a relationship with me then he has to move to KL or we should just stop entertaining whatever deep feelings we have and remain just friends. He kept quiet for a while. And OMG! The anticipation was too much for me to bear. I was so scared he would say let’s just be friends but I was prepared for the worst as I was the one who initiated “the talk”. The he said it. He said “Okay”. I asked, “What do you mean okay?” He said,

“Okay. I would move to KL to be with you. I want to give this a shot. I have been living in Kuching for 30 years and it’s time for a change. I think it could work out between us and I am willing to take that leap of faith with you.”

On 16th February 2005, we were officially a couple. But I told him until we meet I would still consider myself as “Single”. I guess that is one of the ways for me to guard myself in case things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to. And in a way it would get his ass to KL faster!

He came to KL on 9th April 2005 where we were to meet for the first time. I had seen his pic before and he had seen mine so we knew how each other looked like. Thank god he was not bad looking la (hahahaha!). I was a nervous wreck while waiting for his plane to arrive at KLIA. My good friends had texted me and told me to relax and take lots of deep breath. So there I was already breaking into cold sweats and worried as hell. I kept thinking what if there were no sparks. What if I felt absolutely nothing after seeing him? Am I supposed to send him back to Kuching then? He’s gonna think I’m a bitch!

Then he arrived with 2 big bags and a smile. There were sparks alright (thank god!) and he asked me whether he could hold my hand (to which I said yes of course!). He was in KL for a week and I took him to meet ALL my close friends and my family (to which he knew was a test and had passed with flying colours). Don’t get me wrong, he has his flaws and can be annoying at times. Like how he would sing out loud and dance in the car and make funny gestures which is kinda embarrassing but does he care? No! But somehow to me those flaws are bearable, maybe also becos he puts up with my constant need to be right all the time. I guess we’re 2 dysfunctional people and that makes us a perfect couple.

We spent time getting to know each other better while he was here for a week. We also had our first fight, believe it or not but made up soon after. I realised I had fallen in love with him and for the first time after my second break-up I had let my guard and let myself fall in love again. It’s a good feeling to be able to love and trust someone again but it’s scary as hell too. Letting the shield down meant the heart is susceptible to pain but I was ready to feel again. In any case, if he ever breaks my heart, I have a retired policeman dad (who I believe still remember how to use a gun) and 3 brothers who would be more than happy to rearrange his face. Hehehe…

The bf moved to KL in May 2005. We plan to get engaged in June and married by end of the year, InsyaAllah (that is if he doesn’t get on my nerve and I don’t feel the urge to strangle him ever so often!).

Hey! Maybe we’ll have a wedding reception at Friendster Café! That would be cool, huh? After all, it was “Friendster” that got us together in the first place :-)