Tuesday, May 18, 2010

To Lend or Not To Lend

A friend, lets call him A once called me up and asked me whether he should lend money to another friend of ours, lets call him B and how much should he lend to B. I told A, if he wants to lend money to B just because B is a friend and he wants to help a friend out then he should lend to B an amount which he knows that even if he doesnt get back the money he would be okay with it and that it won't ruin his friendship with B. In other words, "kira burn/halal la".
Lending money to friends or even relatives is a tricky thing. On one hand you really want to help your friend out but on the other hand if that friend doesnt pay you back then it could ruin your friendship with that person. Say you make it a point to only lend money to good friends but how does one define a "good friend"? Someone whom you've known since childhood? Someone you've known since you first worked at the office 5 years ago? If that friend has a history of not paying back his debt then you know you should not be lending him money. But what if he's never borrowed any money from you before?
Say you've lent your friend the money and when the time has come for him to pay, he somehow "forgot" (give benefit of the doubt jugak la kan) to pay. So you text him reminding him to pay. No reply. Then you call him but he didnt pick up your calls. He didnt even reply your text messages. So what now? Takkan la nak bagi dia 100 ribu kali missed call. Nanti orang ingat hadap sangat dengan that hutang but the truth is, you really do need to get back the money. So what else can you do? Nak report police over la pulak if he only borrowed tak sampai RM2K for example.
What I want to know is, how do you decide whether or not to lend money to friends or relatives? What is the deciding factor?


darlene said...

i think after being friends for awhile you'd kind of know what this person's attitude like kot?
no? not helping?
how he usually does his work / treat people / respect other people's space, belongings etc. plus i think it's easier if an agreed realistic timeframe is set plus minus a lil buffer.
after all that, kalau tak pick up calls... tricky. speak to his/her partner?

Sara Ahmad said...

I wonder if there's a proper etiquette for this? Like, if you can't pay the debt within the stipulated amount of time, wouldn't it be good manners to explain to the person you borrowed money from that you need more time?

That saves the other party from feeling like a debt collector, constantly reminding them to pay up kan?

Anonymous said...


this will be a wee bit lengthy.

Yes. Depending on the amount u wanna give them and the amount u can halalan toyiban if they fail to pay n u tak kesah. The next time he ask u know la what to do.

If they wanna use the money to settle their debts, the risk is higher coz u r friendlier than the along coz u will not cut his ears if he fails to pay hehehe. Kita kawan kan. U tunggu la bila I ada duit - the answer u will normally gets mula2...lepas tu may be mcm u kata la tak nak jwb sms u lagi hahaha..

A clever one will pay u a wee bit and then ask you for more...and this can go on and on and on..bila u chk the accumulated amount tgk2 da byk...u pun nangis hehehe..klu u tak bagi lagi dia langsung la 'hilang'

I have experienced many bad ones when I got scolded when I asked about the money they borrowed from me..tak guna betol

today I have stopped lending money to friends or relatives...the most I did was if they ask for a lot of money, I will only give them a fraction of what they ask for..kalau tak bayar pun tak pa..peace of mind

some of them will appreciate it and some will turn a sour face...I am just protecting myself and the little savings that I have...tak nak kawan sama saya apa saya bleh buat kan kan kan hehehe

so really it is how u manage it..kita nak tlg org susah tapi jangan pulak at the end of the day u sendiri yg susah..

that is all i cud opine..


gus said...

I so agree with rozzdabozz. word.

Sarclover said...


Do it this way la.

Kalau ada, adala... kalau takde... sorry.

I guess bila nak pinjamkan orang duit ni, semua nak tengok orang tu punya attitude, Pernah ke dia pinjam minjam ni, pernah ke dia 'lari' dari bayar sendiri punya makan bila keluar makan ramai2... In the end, you will have to be the judge.

Cosmic_GurL said...

Darlene - If he/she ada partner then ok la but if he/she is single? Dont want to resort to calling his/her parents plak...

Sara - Yeah im sure if the party owing explained that he/she couldnt pay on time then the party that he/she owes to would understand. Yang tak tahan ni is when they try to avoid yr calls/sms.

Rozz - Oh dear...looks like uve had a lot of experience dealing with ppl yang liat byr hutang ni..

Agus - Yeah, he da man..hehehe

Sarc - Yeah thats my attitude nowadays..kalau ada and tak membebankan I, i will lend..if membebankan I wont