I'll Be There

You know how when something bad happens to you, people around you try to console you by saying things like “I know how you feel” or “You have to be strong” or “Everything will be okay”? Do you feel consoled or does it irritate the hell out of you?

Most of the time it would irritate the hell out me especially if I know for a fact that person has never gone through what I have gone through but acts as if she/he knows what she/he is talking about. I would be tempted to slap her/him, I can tell you that. As much as you want to help and I’m sure you have good intentions but when you are trying to console a person you have to be mindful of what you say. I don’t know about other people but when I’m pouring my heart out, I would expect the other person to just keep quiet and listen and not offer any advice. Not yet. I also expect that person not to jump in and say, “I know how you feel!” and start telling me her sad story and expect me to feel better because something bad had happened to her too (albeit not the same as what happened to me) and I should be relieved because I’m not the only person suffering here. I think there should be a course on how you should console a person and if you don’t have the necessary “tool” or “tact” then you shouldn’t attempt to! You will only make it worse.

If a friend just told you that her husband had cheated on her with another women and she’s devastated, the last thing you should say to her is, “I know how you feel” when in fact you’ve never gone through such ordeal. You don’t know the feeling of being lied to and betrayed and saying things like that will only make your friend angry at you because she will think you’re insensitive. You will never fully know how it feels until such things happen to you. And please don’t start shooting your mouth off by telling your friend to leave her husband and get a divorce. If you’re trying to console someone in that situation, you need to keep your head straight and not get angry. Your friend is counting on you to give good advice and telling her to leave the bastard and get a divorce is NOT good advice. Oh yes, the advice goes the same for the men too. Please don’t go asking your friend to leave his wife and sleep with a hooker to get back at her.

As a friend, as much as you want to beat her husband up for hurting your friend and urge her to leave the bastard, at that moment you need to keep your opinions to yourself. It’s not about what you want. It’s about what’s best for your friend. What if later she decides to get back together with her husband and give him a second chance? You never know. How many times have you reminded your spouse that if you ever find out that he cheated on you with another woman then you would leave him and get a divorce? It’s not that simple, is it? A human heart is mysterious and complex. When someone had done something which you think is so unforgiveable, somehow you would find yourself forgiving that person. Not right then and there but slowly you will. You will if he shows remorse and willing to change. After all, doesn’t everybody deserve a second chance? I’m not saying it’s easy and some people may decide to throw in the towel and I’m not saying it’s wrong to do that. To each her/his own. What I’m trying to say is life is not always black and white. The sooner you realise it the better life will be for you.

If she asked you what she should do and you honestly don’t know what to do then just say so. Your friend is vulnerable and she is relying on you for direction at that moment but if you don’t know what to say then be quiet, rather than say something you will regret later. Tell her to be calm and tell her she needs to decide what’s her next course of action would be. You can only guide her to the right path, give her all the options available and tell her you will support her no matter what. What you cannot do is hold her hand and make her do what you think she should do. She has to decide her own fate.

Now if a friend had just lost someone very dear to her like her dad, her mom, her child or her husband the same rule applies. Don’t be saying, “I know how you feel” if you’ve never lost someone dear to you. And no, losing your cat or your dog is not the same thing, even though you loved your pet like a family member. Just offer your condolences and tell her if she ever needs someone to talk to or share feelings with then you’re there for her.

Don’t ask her to be strong all the time because sometimes she just can’t do that. She needs to feel like she can be vulnerable with you. If you can make her forget her pain even for a while then that is good enough. Pray that she will get through this.

Okay. Now as a person going through the above situations, sometimes you need to cut your friend some slack. There is a reason why you went to your friend and confided in her in the first place. It must be because you fully trust her. It’s not easy seeing a friend suffer, you know. Your heart breaks everytime you see her cry. So if your friend somehow said the wrong thing, just remember that she is also in a difficult situation because she has never felt how you felt and there is no book that can guide her into saying the “right” things. So, if your friend tells you to cut off the bastard’s ball don’t go and do it la. She’s just saying that because she’s angry that someone is hurting you. But if she says, “I know how you feel” when you clearly know she doesn’t then I give you the permission to slap her.

Some people can get through difficult situation on their own and some need friends to alleviate the pain. If you’re one of those who think can handle it on their own, then don’t go telling a friend about your problem. You’re only putting unnecessary burden/pressure on her to say the “right” things to you.

Of Ramadhan and Tok Ayah

First of all I want to wish my fellow bloggers Selamat Berpuasa & Selamat Bertawarikh.

Oh wow. I cannot believe it has been a month since my last post here. Don’t worry folks, I’m still alive and well. I’ve just been so uninspired to write. Something did happen to me but I can't really blog about it as it is very personal and I'm trying to get over it. In due time, InsyaAllah...

My boss is leaving us to follow her husband to India. Her husband has received a very good offer and they’re going middle of September. I’m going to miss my boss. Seriously. She’s such a great boss. She doesn’t micro-manage and she actually trusts her staff’s capabilities in performing their jobs. I think I am still in denial and in shock that she’s leaving us. We have no idea who is replacing her and that is a scary thought.

Remember I blogged about my grandpa a few months back? How he is like after my grandma passed away? Well, a few weeks ago both his legs were swollen and he couldn’t walk. My grandpa has diabetes and we think that may be the reason for the swell. But personally I think it’s because he doesn’t walk around as much now. When my grandma was still alive she would actually force my grandpa to exercise by taking strolls around the house. Now that she’s no longer around, my grandpa would rather sleep the whole day. He’s still pining for her. I can tell because when we talk about her I can see the sadness on his face. Plus, whenever we wanted to bring him to KL (he lives in Sg Petani) he would always decline. He’d rather stay at his own house. My mom thinks the reason he doesn’t want to leave the house is because the last time he came to KL he forgot to bring my grandma’s photo. So when he woke up he felt lost and restless. So this time around whenever we want to bring him to KL we made sure that we pack my grandma’s photo and her kain batik in his bag. I’m happy to report that my grandpa is recovering well and undergoing physiotherapy at the moment.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Or do you think things just happened randomly that sometimes it’s hard for you to comprehend the reason behind it? Would you rather know something that could break your heart thereafter or would you rather be in the dark? I know a lot of people would say knowing is better but at what cost?
Ramadhan couldn’t come at a better time. I am going through an emotional roller coaster right now and I think fasting helps clear my head so I don’t make rash decisions that I may regret later in the future.

I just hope I made the right decision and may god give me strength to endure whatever that comes my way.

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change

It’s been more than a month since I last updated my blog. I don’t know whether it is sheer laziness or I just don’t have anything to vent. Could it be that life is just peachy???? *snort* I don’t think so. My mind is all over the place. I’m just going to write down what comes to mind so bear with me. I’m just rambling.

A lot of things have happened. Some were good and some were bad.

A very good friend re-married after holding the “divorcee” title for exactly a year. So a bunch of us went on a road-trip to Malacca for his wedding. It’s nice to see his 3 year old daughter sitting so comfortably on her step-mom’s lap during the bersanding ceremony.

Two of my good friends got pregnant, a month apart!

I went to see a very good play called “The Good Body” and I am now more comfortable with my body than I ever was. Why do women go on a diet again?

Another good friend of mine is going to deliver her second baby anytime soon.

I played futsal for the very first time and our team won! I now know how to do a header. Heheh…

Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett have passed away. I’ve been listening to MJ’s songs repeatedly especially You Are Not Alone, They Don’t Really Care About Us and Man In The Mirror. He was a very talented artiste and it’s so sad to read people writing all sorts of stories about him. I say just leave the man alone for heaven sakes! He’s dead so just let it go.

I also found out that 2 of my friends are recently divorced. 1 friend got divorced because it turned out that her husband didn’t like her parents and look down on them. She was 7 months pregnant when he divorced her. The other got divorced because her husband hits her. She is 4 months pregnant.

I’m currently listening to Zee Avi’s Someone You Used To Know, The Cure’s Friday I’m In Love, Katy Perry’s Thinking of You, Butterfingers’ Mati Hidup Kembali and Simon & Garfunkel’s The Sound of Silence.

I’ve watched The Transformers Revenge of The Fallen and loved it. Looking forward to Eclipse.

So people, Sher is alive and well. Very much alive in facebook actually. Been trying to beat my friends’ scores in Typing Maniac game in fb. I’ve already beaten hubby’s scores. Hehehe…That game is very addictive laaaa….So forgive me if I haven’t been dropping by your blogs and leaving comments. Sometimes you need inspiration to write and lately there is none. Slowly ya…don’t write me off just yet :P

p/s : I still remember the tags that I have to do...I will do it, okay. Just bear with me please :))

Random Thoughts

Sometimes I think being a funny and jovial person has its disadvantages. People don’t take you seriously and they tend to say hurtful things and not apologise because they think you’re okay with it. And if you tell them that what they said hurt your feelings they will say to you,” Alah tu pun nak merajuk ke, I’m just joking. Sheesh!” So you end up being called “Ms. Sensitive”.

Sometimes you want to help your siblings but you feel like they’ve taken you for granted. They don’t ask whether you can help them or not anymore but they simply assume or expect that you’re going to help them out and if you can’t then they make you feel guilty about it.

Sometimes you just want to say “NO” when people asked you for help but somehow they managed to guilt-trip you into saying “YES”. Sigh…

Sometimes you think you know a person and you entrusted all your secrets with that person. Little did you know that person is a two-timing, stinking, sneaky lil bitch. Sigh…

Sometimes it’s better to keep your opinions to yourself and not share it with the whole world because frankly, no one wants to listen to what you have to say anyway.

Sometimes when you’re feeling sad, all you need is for someone to hug you and not say anything else.

Sometimes you just wish you can eat ice-cream all day long.

Sometimes you just wish people would stop asking you whether you’re pregnant. I’m so tempted to shout at their face, “I’m not pregnant, I’m just PHAT!” Tapi nanti kang kena heart attack plak all those makciks.

Sometimes you wish Monday was never invented. In the words of Boomtown Rats, "I don't like Mondays. I want to shoot the whole day down".

Hello, my name is Sher and I'm a seafoodholic.

I just realised I haven’t updated my blog for so long. I also haven’t been reading other people’s blogs. Sorry guys. I just came back from visiting my parents in law in Kuching 2 weeks ago and ever since my mom’s bibik went back to Indon life has been pretty hectic. I swear I don’t know how people can survive without maids. I’m not trying to be “mengada-ngada” here but housework is no joke man. The only time we can do the laundry is over the weekend. If I wash my clothes in the morning on a weekday then my mom has to hang the clothes and I don’t want her standing in the hot sun hanging all those clothes. It’s so hot nowadays and making her do that is just cruel.

When we had a maid, we would only wash our own dishes, well sometimes when we’re lazy we just put them in the sink. Now we not only have to do all the dishes but we have to scrub the pots and pans too. Haiyooo, very tiring lah. And when my SIL used to leave her 1 year old daughter, Cinta with me, I would only take her into my room when she’s about to go to sleep. Other than that I would hand her over to the maid and the maid would carry her around and play wit hher until she’s tired and ready to sleep. Now she’s with me every minute of every second of the day if she stays over at my mom’s house. No longer do I have the luxury of handing her over to the maid when I’m tired and needed to rest. And she’s at that age where if she sees me, she doesn’t want to be with anyone else, not even my mom or dad. She will cry and cry and since I don’t have the heart to see her like that so I would end up carrying her to my room and play with her. I want kids badly but sometimes I wonder how one takes care of their child without any domestic help. I mean you cannot do any housework until the baby takes a nap especially if they’re at that age where you have to watch them all the time! Cinta is at that age right now where if you turn your head away from her for 5 seconds and suddenly you will see her already climbing up the staircase.

Oh yeah, today is Cinta's 1st birthday and I wanna wish her Happy Birthday and that Auntie Sher loves her a lot! Ain't she a cutiepie?!

So anyway, my trip to went really well. It was a food fest actually. Hubby and I ate non-stop and I tried so many new delicacies. Some I like and some is just not my cuppa tea. Pictures below:-

This is called linut. It's basically tapioca flour cooked and eaten with sambal belacan. SILs and hubby are crazy about them but me, not so much.

The delicious laksa sarawak. I love this dish.

The famous mee kolok. A must-have if you're in Kuching.

We also had seafood somewhere somewhere out of town. The dish below is Oyster Omelette. Not my cuppa tea. It's just too eggy?

This is ambal, a type of "siput".

The yummy buttered prawns.

The jellyfish. Also errmm NOT my cuppa tea. Hehehe...

What You Need To Know About Red Raven

I was tagged by Mrs. A where I was to present some facts about my hubby aka My Boo. Here goes...

1) He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?

- Well, it would be either sports or music videos.

2) You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?

- Hubby is not fussy. He would eat anything.

3) What’s one food he doesn’t like?

- Fish. He would eat them once in a while if he has to but he’s not a fan.

4) You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?

- Either ice lemon tea or vanilla coke.

5) Where did he go to high school?

- St Joseph I think…Hahahaha..i know this coz he mentioned it so often. I hope I got it right. Hahaha!

6) What size shoes does he wear?

- Size 8 or 9

7) If he was to collect anything, what would it be?

- Action figures. You know like Ichigo from Bleach, Optimus Prime from Transformers, Batman…he’s such a kid at heart.

8) What is his favorite type of sandwich?

- Anything with beef or chicken in it.

9) What would this person eat every day if he could?

- Lamb. Lamb. Lamb.

10) What is his favorite cereal?

- Hmmm…I’ve never really seen him eat cereals or buy any. He prefers roti canai or tosai for breakfast.

11) What would he never wear?

- Speedo or leather pants I think. Hahaha…Errmm I dont think I want him to wear those too

12) What is his favorite sports team?

- Haiyaaa…this one if I get it wrong then there’s something wrong with me. Manchester United (ala yang kalah 2 games in a row tu…hehehe…wurve you baby)

13) Who did he vote for?

- He didn’t vote the last time coz he was here in KL.

14) Who is his best friend?

- ME! ME! ME! Kan yang? Kan? Kan? :P

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?

- Merajuk, sulk and not talk to him when I’m angry at him. I can go on for 3 days not talking to him.

16. What is his heritage?

- Eh? I don’t understand this question. Like where is he from ke? He’s from Kuching and he’s a Malay.

17. What is his favourite colour?

- Blue and black I think. I’m tempted to say RED but naaahhh…hehehe

18. What is his habit?

- Reading in the toilet. In fact, he loves to read so he would read before he goes to sleep. I wish I could sleep with the lights on but since I couldn’t so he had to read in another room whenever I sleep.

19. What is he proud of?

- The fact that he moved to KL, leaving his friends and family behind to be with me. I’m proud of him for doing that too.

20. Lastly, do you think he will read this?

- Of course he will since he has a blog too.

I would like to tag Ms. B (I wanna know about your Mini B, can ah?) and my hubby. Let see if he knows his wife eh?

Green-eyed Monster anyone?

L called and told me that a mutual friend of ours, K is having some problem with her husband. Her husband apparently had not “touched” her for 2 weeks now. This was not the first time K had complained to L. K had also confided in me a few weeks back that her husband never seemed to want to have sex with her. She said she tried everything to “seduce” her husband like wear sexy lingerie but her husband just ignored her and went to sleep. My friend K has been married for almost 5 years and she too has been trying to conceive. She’s frustrated because her husband is not doing his part in trying to get her pregnant. He’s been coming home late and when he gets home all he wants to do is sleep. K said there was never any problem before with their sex life.

K called L to tell her that she’s giving up on trying to conceive. L advised K to be patient and to sit down and talk about it with her husband. I have a theory but I don’t think I want to share it with K. L told me that she thinks K’s husband is getting “it” from someone else, that he’s having an affair because no man could last a week, what more 2 weeks without sex unless he’s sick and K’s husband is healthy as horse. I told L not to make any assumption because it’s a very dangerous one to make. L then went on to say that we shouldn’t trust our partner 100%. L said that she has been married for almost 7 years and still doesn’t trust her husband 100% even though her husband has never done anything to make her not trust him. She said she often checked his phone whenever he took a shower and checked his emails as she has kept all his password with her.

My husband often tells me he trusts me. That’s why he said he never asked me who had texted me whenever he hears the message tone on my phone. He said he believed me when I told him I’m going out with my girlfriends and never doubted my words. But I on the other hand told him I don’t trust him 100%. He said he knows because he knows my perangai very well. Suffice to say it has something to do with my upbringing but I won’t go into that. Whenever I hear the message tone on his phone I will ask him who it was especially if he receives them at night. I don’t care if people think I’m paranoid or I’m being a controlling freak. I know he has never given me any reason to not trust him but hey it’s better to be safe than sorry. I don’t think I’m that bad. At least I don’t check my husband’s phone, email or facebook account without his permission. Unless there is a reason for me to do so lah. Siaplah I don’t care, I would ask him for his password and if he doesn’t give it to me then I know something is up. Privacy schimacy. Hah!!!

Anyway, I would really like to know reasons why husbands don’t want to have sex with their wife, especially if the wife is ever so willing to do it. I often hear complaints from the men that usually it is their wives who refuse to have sex but what is happening to my friend is really puzzling.

Fun In The Sun

This was the view from my chalet, Salang Beach Resort. It took us 6 hour journey by bus, then 3 hour boat ride to get to this place. Penat giler but it was all worth it. It has white sandy beach and water was clear as crystal you could see fish swimming in it.

While I was away in Tioman, hubby had a little project going on. He made my birthday and anniversary card. I knew my husband is a creative person but I didnt know he was this creative. Hehehehe...

All That Jazzzzzz...

I am off to Tioman tonight and will be staying at Salang Beach Resort. I’ve never been to Tioman before. But I have heard pretty good reviews and I’m very excited. This time, hubby will be left at home. I am dreading the bus journey though. Seeing that it is going to be a long weekend I am guessing a lot of people will be on the road back to their hometown tonight. For sure the highway will be congested.

My SIL just told me that her due date is on 09.09.09. Cool eh?

I am reading Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns. So far I have not cried yet. I was a wreck when I read the Kite Runner. I am also reading Stephanie Meyer’s Eclipse. I’m trying so hard NOT to finish the book so soon. I don’t want my relationship with Edward Cullen to end. Yes, I am delusional that way.

Hubby promised to do something over the weekend. We shall see whether he keeps his promise.

So just to be clear, who is the MB of Perak now? We’re now holding meetings under a raintree huh? Nice.

I went to Jason Mraz’s concert 2 days ago and had an amazing time. He is such a good performer and musician. And he is so cool and likes to merepek on stage.

Lyrics from the song A Wonderful Life by Jason Mraz,

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

How true it is.

Have a good weekend guys.

Express Thyself

I once wrote that blogging should be about free expression, not good impression.

However, I am not sure whether that is true anymore. Sometimes when people are given the freedom to express themselves they tend to go overboard. They don’t care what kind of impression they’re giving or message they’re sending, as long as it’s out there for the whole world to read, they’re content with it.

I admit ever since I came across PiahZadora’s blog a few months back, I’ve been a silent reader. And sometimes I find that the comments made were even more entertaining than what Piah had written. However, of late I wonder whether some of the people who commented on PiahZadora’s blog have feelings. I mean if you can joke about a person’s inability to conceive or the fact that a person has hives and in pain then you’re the kind of person that has no compassion or mercy for other people.

Now I understand why some bloggers have made their blogs "private"... Sigh…

Lost

Just because I'm losing

Doesn't mean I'm lost

Doesn't mean I'll stop

Doesn't mean I'm across

Just because I'm hurting

Doesn't mean I'm hurt

Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserved

No better and no worse

I just got lost!

Every river that I tried to cross

Every door I ever tried was locked

Oh and I'm just waiting til the shine wears off

You might be a big fish

In a little pond

Doesn't mean you've won

'Cause along may come

A bigger one

And you'll be lost!

Every river that you tried to cross

Every gun you ever held went off

Oh and I'm just waiting til the firing's stopped

Oh and I'm just waiting til the shine wears off

I just love Coldplay. Really, really love them. Too bad I won't be watching them perform in Singapore on the 23rd March...Sigh...Bummer...

Don't you think their lyrics are so poetic? I think they're such good performers and great songwriters. Double bummer.

Second Chances

The great thing about being alive is that you have a second chance to make right whatever wrong you’ve done in the past. When a person is given a second chance, that person will try their best to succeed, be it finding love again or getting that promotion or even a better job. One tends to make the best out of it and most of the time they get past the fact that they weren’t successful the first time. However not everyone can handle being given a second chance. Some tend to screw it up even more the second time around and with these people it’s never ending. They will ask for a third or fourth chance and after a while you just feel like giving up on them because they disappoint you time and time again.

What was the saying again? Once bitten twice shy? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me? If everyone thinks this way then no one will get second chances. Or maybe you could get a second chance, but just not with the person that had let you down.

I have a few friends who got married the second time around and they have never been happier. I also know someone who had failed in his business once but now he’s a successful entrepreneur, even more successful than before. That’s the beauty of second chances. Only after you have embraced it and make the best out of it, then you will find true happiness and be at peace with yourself.

I want to tell you about a friend of mine who has been divorced for less than 8 months. Last week he told me that he’s in love and is getting married again this year in June. As a friend of course I told him I was happy for him. I am happy that he found love again and happy that he had entrusted his heart with another person. But I am also worried for him. I don’t want him to rush into things. I don’t want him to get married because he felt that his daughter needed a mother or that because he was lonely and needed a companion. I want him to get married for all the right reasons. But then I start to think what could be the right reasons to get married. To him the right reason could be because he was lonely and needed a companion. To me it should be because he is totally and utterly in love with her and that he thinks that she is good for him and that she could take good care of his daughter and love her like her own. Part of me wants him to be careful and to take it slow and thinks that getting married too soon after his divorce is a bad move but another part of me just wants him to take a chance and be happy and not think too much, just follow his heart. Alas, I did tell him to be careful and just follow his heart. At the end of the day, it’s his life and if he is happy then who am I to rain on his parade.

So what I’m trying to say here is if you’ve been given a second chance at life or love then you have to grab it and make the best out of it. Because that could be the only chance you will get at being happy.

Just Another Ordinary Day

I received an email from my friend Banana this morning. She wished me Happy Belated Birthday and asked me what I did on my birthday last Sunday.

Well, for the first time ever I did nothing special. Hubby fell ill while we were in Langkawi. He was having really high fever, headache and his body was aching all over on our first night there. We thought it was just a normal fever so I took him to Hospital Langkawi the next day. I couldn’t find a clinic believe it or not. When we got to the hospital hubby was shivering because he was so cold. We had to wait for our turn for more than an hour. When we got to see the doctor who looks like she just got out of med school, she told hubby that it was just a normal fever and gave him antibiotics and flu meds. She told him that if he doesn’t feel any better then he was to come back and see her. Right.

We went back to our chalet and hubby took his meds and went back to sleep. Even after taking the meds he still had headaches and his body was still aching but we managed to go island hopping the next day. When we came back I tried to make him eat something but he couldn’t. He said he has this bitter taste in his mouth. Even if he ate something he would throw up thereafter.

When we came back to KL he went to the clinic and did a blood test because he still had fever and headache. The doctor suspected he had dengue because his platelet and white blood cell count had gone down. To be on the safe side I took him to the hospital and he got admitted. Later in the evening the doctor confirmed that it was indeed dengue.

His platelet went down to as low as 52 before it went up again. I fed him crab soup, juice from the papaya leaves and he drank bottles and bottles of 100 plus. Whatever food that could help get his platelet up, I fed it to him. There is actually no vaccine or meds to treat dengue fever!

Then on Sunday which was on my birthday, hubby got discharged as his platelet had gone up and he said he was feeling much better. I guess that is a gift in itself but I’m not a saint. If I ever come across that stupid Aedes mosquito that bit him I would lenyek-lenyek that stupid insect sampai hancur!! I know it’s not his fault that he got sick which in turned had ruined our anniversary and my birthday. But I can’t help but feel disappointed. I know, I know. I’m a bad person for feeling this way but I’m only human. He said sorry so many times and I believed that he was sorry even though he doesn’t have to be because it’s not his fault. I mean if it had happened to me I would feel really bad too. So that’s why I don’t give him any grief about it.

When I get upset or angry I write everything down. Hence this post. It’s the only way for me to let go of all this bad feelings that I’m having. Please don’t tell me I should be grateful that he is getting better because I am grateful. I thank god that it wasn’t dengue hemorrhagic fever or chikunguya or that he didn’t have to get a blood transfusion. I don’t know who to be angry or upset at. But I am feeling it right now. Oh please God, I don’t want to be a bad wife. For some people celebrating birthdays and anniversary may seemed petty and frivolous but when you’re so looking forward to it and things don’t go as planned it is damn frustrating. I know I need to get over it fast. I am trying to.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. Happy Birthday Sher. May next year be better than this year and may Allah grant me his blessings and may all my wishes come true. Amin...

My Life Would Suck Without You

Hubby and I will be celebrating our 2nd year wedding anniversary next week and the best part is we will be celebrating it in Langkawi. Can you believe that my husband has never been to Langkawi? He’s acting like an excited little boy going on a trip far far away.

I can’t believe we’ve been married for almost 2 years now. How time flies when you’re having fun eh? I can still remember picking him up from the airport when he first arrived from Kuching 4 years ago. He was wearing his red MU t-shirt with blue jeans and pushing his trolley outside the arrival gate. (I told myself that I would never go out with an MU supporter coz they’re SOOOOOO Over The Top!! I guessed I spoke too soon).

When I saw him the first thing that popped in my head was, “Thank god he’s tall!!” Hahahahha…Seriously, I would have just left him at the airport if he was short. Hahahaha…Gila evil!!

I asked myself what made me fall in love with this man and agreed to become his wife. It’s not like we have many things in common. Yes, essentially we love music and we love watching movies and eating out but our taste in music and food are different.

He’s a football craze person and would watch sports, any kind of sports on television non-stop. I on the other hand am not. If there’s a football match on TV I would change the channel really quickly. The only time I watch football is during the World Cup and even then I’d only watch the Brazillians play. So that’s like football once every 4 years for me. But there was this one time where I had learned the names of most of the EPL players because he asked me to join in the Football Fantasy League. He knows I am a very competitive person and the only reason why I would learn the names of the players is so that I could pick them to be in my team, win and score high points. Well, at least now I know how ugly Cisse is and that Xabi Alonso is Spanish and not black (don’t ask, long story).

He would order a different dish on the menu everytime and willing to try them out while I would stick to the same dish I had ordered the last time I came to the restaurant. If I know that dish is delicious then I won't order anything else but that.

He listens to weird music well not exactly weird but not exactly mainstream either and would annoy me by asking me to listen to the song he’s just “found” and tell him what I think of the song. He gets excited when he listens to singers like Adele, Kokokaina and those Indonesian bands. He’s into RnB and I am so NOT! I can’t stand USHER!

When we fight, he would rather talk about the fight, about feelings and why I felt angry or hurt while I would rather keep quiet, cool down, sulk for a bit then talk about it. I am not a talker. When I am upset I get to one corner and keep quiet. But hubby is a talker. He likes to analyse things so he could understand where all the anger were coming from. Sometimes he analyses things too much I think!

He can sleep with the lights and tv on while I on the other hand must sleep in total darkness and in total silence.

But somehow, with all the things that we don’t have in common we managed to find a middle ground to make it work. I’m not saying he’s the greatest husband in the world nor will I say I am the greatest wife but I think we’re doing okay together. We compliment each other in ways that only we know how to. I guess what I’m trying to say is our differences hold us together, make us whole and keep things interesting.

Happy 2nd year Anniversary Sweetie…I love that you are the last person I talk to before I go to sleep and the first person I see when I wake up…

Of Motherhood...

I’m surrounded by pregnant women. Everywhere I turn there is bound to be a pregnant woman in sight. A very good friend of mine is pregnant. I just found out that one of my colleagues is pregnant as well. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy for pregnant women everywhere. I’m not being sarcastic here. I am truly happy for these people. I just wished it was me.

You guys have no idea how hard it is to get pregnant. Sex is not fun anymore. Well sometimes it's fun but most of the time it's not when you're trying to conceive. You’ll have to count the days when you’re ovulating and even when you’re not in the mood to have sex, you still have to do it because that is the right time to do it. And when your husband doesn’t ejaculate you get angry because if he doesn’t come then there is no way in hell you’re going to get pregnant. You get even stressed out when your husband tells you that you’re stressing him out by over-analysing things. But he doesn’t get it. No men will get how important it is for a woman to become a mother.

Sometimes you get frustrated because your ability to conceive depends on another person. It doesn’t make sense to think such a way because you can’t get pregnant on your own, right? But you can’t help but feel that way. You feel like such a loser because one thing you’re supposed to be good at which is motherhood and you can’t even do that.

I feel like such a loser sometimes. I feel like I’ve somehow let my parents, in-laws and husband down. People tell me not to think about it too much, don’t stress about it but how can you not think about it? The more people tell you not to think about it, the more you tend to over think it.

All I can do right now is hope and pray for a miracle.

Bull Mauled by The Bear??

2 weeks into the new year and we have heard so many bad things happening in the market. Banks and companies are not hiring people at the moment and the latest one is the Satyam debacle, the largest corporate fraud ever perpetrated in India. I am just perplexed how 2 brothers managed to falsely inflate their profits and cook their books which amounted to more than $1 billion!! And this had gone on for a number of years!! How the regulators had failed to detect this is beyond me. And we’re talking about a company which is listed in the New York Stock Exchange, for heaven sakes!!!

And what about the Madoff scandal? I mean this guy was the former Chairman of the NASDAQ Stock Exchange but now it was reported that he had swindled up to $50 billion from investors. I read somewhere that when he was questioned by the FBI he allegedly told them that his business was "a giant Ponzi scheme!!!” I mean if a former Chairman of NASDAQ, a person who supposedly has a sound financial knowledge is involved in this kind of illegal activity then who can you trust????!!!

Reading about these 2 cases got me really upset. Upset because the victims would be the innocent shareholders and investors who had put their trust in the company and had put their money in the hands of the man they think they could trust. Now I understand why our forefathers used to keep their money under the pillow.

Anyway talking about money, I heard that bonus for government officers are good this year. It seems that the government has to give good bonuses so people would spend and inject money into the economy. That’s why you don’t see any empty shopping complexes or why Malaysians can still go for holidays overseas even though EVERYONE kept telling us the economy is bad, we’re going into recession and inflation rate is going to be high. Oh well…

In other news, Jason Mraz is coming to Malaysia on March 4th. I’m definitely going for his concert. A lof of my friends are going for Rihanna’s on the 19th Feb. PGL 3rd season is starting in February. Believe it or not I’ve never seen PGL at Istana Budaya because tickets are always sold out so hopefully I get to go this year. Sigh…more money down the drain…