Life Is Too Short

Most of the time we take life for granted. We act as if we’re going to live forever when it should be the other way around. We should live as if we are going to die tomorrow. But how many of us actually think about death everyday? Usually, we would think about what movies to watch, where to eat, what house or car we’re going to buy or where to go on holidays. Thinking about death is just too grim and depressing, especially when you think you’re too young to meet your maker. Why think about your mortality when there are other more interesting things to look forward to in life, right?

Last week, my mom told me she dreamt of my late grandma, Tok Yang. Tok Yang came to her and told her she’s going to take my mom to a wonderful place. When my mom told me of her dream, my heart skipped a beat because usually when people dream about something like that it means they’re going to die soon. I told her to stop talking about it, that she’s not going anywhere with my grandma and told her that she was going to live forever and that I am not prepared to lose her anytime soon. Because really, who wants to entertain the thought of their loved ones especially their parents not being around? I admit when it comes to my parents’ mortality especially my mother, I am one of those who are in perpetual denial. I want to think that she will outlive me because I don’t think I can survive without her.

After my mom told me about her dream, I can’t stop thinking about death. It’s not that I purposely want to think about it. I kept thinking how I would react if she was taken from me. And what can I do now so I won’t regret anything later? So now I try to make every day count. Every morning I would go to her room and kiss her good morning, something I rarely do before because I’m always late and will usually be in a rush to work. Whenever she wants me to do something, I try not to procrastinate and to do it as soon as I could. I try not to lose temper when she nags about small things. Take her out for breakfast, grocery shopping and to watch a theatre. She may not see the difference in my behavior now but to me it’s important that I do all that I guess. It’s important because if God were to take her away from me, I will have no regrets. I can honestly say, “I have done everything that a daughter is supposed to do for her mother.”

We always hear the words “Life is too short”. One day we could be healthy as a horse, and then suddenly stricken with an incurable disease the next. How many of us actually believe those words and try to do everything we can to make each second of our life meaningful? Well, I am trying to do my part bit by bit. Trying to make my life more meaningful and not fret over little things.

I am trying and I am thankful I have good friends and family members who will no doubt remind me if I ever forget.

20102010

I'm just updating my blog because it is such a cool date today. Hahahaha!


Ok so hows everybody doing? It has not been a slow month, it’s just that I haven’t been to many raya open houses this year. Not being anti-social but it's just tiring taking care of nephew and nieces and when the weekend comes all I wanna do is sleep and watch tv.


Last week, I went for Adam Lambert's concert. Whatever you say about the man he can sure sing la. He has a very powerful voice and such a good performer. He sang some of the songs from his idol days and also from his album. I was so excited when he sang If I Had You, Strut and Whadaya Want From Me.

Oh and hubby was handed this flyer by a PAS protester outside the concert venue. Hehehe..one of them tried to pass this flyer to me but I just smiled and politely said no thanks. Adoi, he made me feel so guilty la. There I was standing, wearing tudung with goth make-up on. Hahaha!

I was also involved as a volunteer for the World Capital Market Symposium which was held end of September at Shangri-La Hotel this year. It was a good experience and I get to meet an array of world capital market specialists. I volunteered as a Liaison Officer or LO and it was a lot of work. I mean the LOs have to be on top of things even before these delegates arrived. But it was worth it I guess. I got to meet Dr. Nouriel Roubini, an economics professor at New York University's Stern School of Business and chairman of Roubini Global Economics, an economic consultancy firm. He is also known as “Dr. Doom” for having predicted that US was going to face an economic crisis 2 years ago. I also had the pleasure of meeting Jimmy Wales, the founder of Wikipedia. He was so passionate when he talked about how he started wiki.

Dr. Doom

Jimmy Wales

We also have a new addition to the family. My brother and SIL’s 4^th child whom they decide to name Maira Syafeenaz Sayang. The 2^nd one was named Maizatul Sabreena Cinta, the 3^rd Maisarah Syakeela Qaseh and now the 4^th one is Sayang. Don’t ask me what he was thinking. The poor child having to live with the name Sayang.

My other niece Cinta and nephew Hareez was featured as models in the Mingguan Wanita raya edition below. Geramness!

I took this at one of my friend's open houses. They fight a lot but they're close, as how a bro and sis should be.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri 1431H

Ramadhan akan melabuhkan tirainya tidak lama lagi dan aku duduk sambil berfikir adakah cukup amalan yang telah aku lakukan di sepanjang bulan yang mulia ini?

Sepatutnya di bulan ramadhan orang berpusu-pusu ke masjid untuk bersembahyang tarawikh secara jemaah dan melakukan qiamulail. MasyaAllah, betapa besarnya pahala melakukan ibadat wajib dan sunat di bulan Ramadhan ini! Tapi malangnya, peluang ini tidak diambil oleh kita manusia, termasuk diriku sendiri. Kita alpa, hanya memikirkan apa makanan yang hendak dibeli dan tempat untuk berbuka, di mana hendak dibeli baju raya dan berapa balang kuih raya patut ditempah atau dibuat sendiri.

Kadang-kadang aku duduk sambil memikirkan jika Allah mencabut nyawaku pada ketika ini, adakah cukup segala ibadat yang aku lakukan selama aku hidup? Dapatkan segala ibadah yang aku lakukan membawaku ke syurga? Aku tidak punya anak yang dapat mendoakan aku, aku cuma punya ibadah dan amal jariah yang akan dihitung..adakah semua itu mencukupi? Entahlah.

Bulan ramadhan kali ini bagiku sungguh hiba dengan ketiadaan datuk dan nenekku. Apa yang boleh kulakukan hanyalah bersedekah doa dan ayat-ayat al-quran untuk mereka jadikan bekalan.

Kawan-kawanku, di kesempatan ini, aku ingin memohon maaf di atas segala ketelanjuran perbuatan dan tutur kata yang mungkin menyinggung perasaan kalian. Sesungguhnya aku manusia yang serba kekurangan, yang tidak terlepas dari melakukan kesilapan.

Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya Aidilfitri dan semoga segala amalan kita di bulan yang mulia ini diterima Allah SWT.

Kekanda Adinda by Monoloque & Atilia Haron

I can't get enough of this song. It's too cute. Been a long time since I heard a malay song that I loved and can listen to over and over again. Thanks to hubby for letting me know about the song :) 



(P) Oh Kekanda jangan irihati, Dinda naik pangkat lagi..
(L) Oh Adinda, Kanda mana dengki, malah Kanda support bini..


(P) Jadi Dinda mahu mengambil masa
(L) Tapi Kanda mahu segera
(P) Dinda ingin berjaya dalam kerjaya
(L) Tapi Kanda mahu cahaya mata
(P) Dinda belum bersedia
(L) Kanda dah beria ria
(P) Jadi yg mana satu?
(P+L) Tak perlu bertengkar. Tak perlu bermasam muka

 (L) Oh Adinda, tolong jangan lekas curiga, lekas cemburu buta
(P) Oh Kekanda, Dinda perlu berhati-hati, tak rela dikongsi


(L) Kanda kerja overtime, terlebih masa
(P) Itu yg Dinda harus berwaspada
(L) Ini semua demi masa depan keluarga
(P) Dengan Dinda atau sebaliknya?
(L) Kanda kerja malam
(P) Dinda kerja siang
(L) Jadi bila nak bertemu?
(P+L) Tak perlu bertengkar. Tak perlu bermasam muka

(P) Oh adiwira, dewataku, mari ikut cara Dinda!
(L) Oh Tun Teja, intan permata, mari ikut cara Kanda!
(P+L) Oh Bagaimana? Bagaimana kita nak selesaikannya? Apa keputusannya?


(P) Oh Kekanda mari Nyawa, kita cuba komunikasi!
(L) Oh Adinda mari Sayang, kita cuba toleransi!

(P+L) Walau kita janji sehidup semati, kita berlainan
(L) Kanda polar kutub Utara
(P) Dinda kutub Selatan
(P+L) Komunikasi, sikap toleransi! Itu yg kita perlu
(P+L) Tak perlu bertengkar. Tak perlu bermasam muka


(L) Walau kita sering dgn cara masing-masing
(P) Kanda yg Perdana
(L) Dinda yg Utama
(P) Kanda sgalaNya..
(L) Dindalah Nyawa..
(P+L) kita tetap bahagia bila bersama-sama

bahagia bersama,
bersama selamanya,
bahagia selama-lamanya!

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

Don’t you just hate people with holier than thou attitude? I was at the mosque near my house for tarawikh prayers last night and there was this Makcik sitting next to me. I think we just finished the 4th rakaat and about to go into the 5th. This Makcik stood up and started pointing her fingers to this little girl who was not praying (she looked like she was about 5 or 6 years old), sitting next to I believe was her mother (about 4 rows in front of us) and this rude Makcik started shouting,

 

“Hello! Hello! Kalau tak sembahyang mana boleh duduk dalam saf. Duduk kat tepi!”

 

She was literally shouting okay! And she kept on shouting until the little girl moved. Macam tu ke tegur budak? Main jerit “Hello! Hello!” jer? It was sooo bloody rude. I was so angry but kept my cool because the Imam had started on the 5th rakaat already. In my heart I was thinking if the little girl hadn’t moved I’m going to tell this Makcik to behave herself and cakap elok2 to the little girl. Tegur perangai buruk Makcik ni, biar dia pulak yang malu. Geram betul. After being shouted at, the little girl actually moved to the side.

 

Sumpah tak khusyuk aku sembahyang pasal Makcik kurang ajar ni. Why couldn’t she just go to the front and nicely and quietly tegur the little girl? Why must she embarrass the little girl together with her mother??? Seriously I don’t understand some people. Do they derive pleasure from embarrassing other people in public? Dahlah bulan puasa, supposed to be bulan you banyak sabar and cakap benda elok-elok jer. Ni tak! What do you get from doing that? Konon menegakkan Islam la. Sheesh! Yang hairannya, she was sitting 4 rows at the back from where the girl was sitting tapi mata macam helang dapat jer tengok other people’s mistake.

 

You can’t stop people especially mothers from coming to the mosque and bringing their kids. I understand that even mothers too nak buat pahala and amik berkat sembahyang tarawikh kat masjid during Ramadhan. It can be annoying when the kids cry especially small children crying non-stop when you’re performing your prayers but sabar jer lah. Ni kan dugaan. Mana tahu next time anak you pulak yang melalak. Not everyone has a maid they can leave their kids with.

 

Iskh. First day of tarawikh dah menduga kesabaran. Hopefully, I don’t get to sit with people like this in the future. Would like to have a peaceful tarawikh.

A Good & Relaxing Weekend

I love Redang Island. Went for a holiday with hubby and 3 of my good friends together with their hubbies 2 weeks ago. I love Redang because the boat ride to the island doesnt take as long as the boat ride to Tioman. Some pictures taken by my friend's hubby below. The island is as beautiful as the pics taken. MasyaAllah.

 

  

We stayed at the Redang Holiday Beach Villa for 3D2N. We got a nice spacious room with 2 twin beds. I dont know why on earth they gave us 2 twin beds but we were not complaining. The snorkelling trips were good especially at the Marine Park. Oh and I saw a baby shark while snorkelling near our resort! That was cool. But I have to say the fishies in redang were not as colourful as the ones in tioman.

Last weekend hubby, myself and a friend went to see Cuci The Musical 2. Ive watched the first one and somehow thought the 1st one was better (my personal opinion). Nabil was hilarious but somehow there was no chemistry between him and the other 3, unlike AC Mizal. I guess if you havent seen the first one you'd still like the 2nd one coz both Cuci 1 and 2 were damn funny and I was laughing throughout the whole 4 hours of Cuci 2! I love the ad-libs and I thought the ad-libs made the whole show funny. Jaclyn Victor was good but she was nowhere in comparison with Adibah Noor. Now THAT woman has presence. But for a first timer, I thought both Nabil n Jac did good. However, I dont think they should make the show sooo long. Sitting in the very hard chair for 4 hours is no fun, especially when you're not allowed to drink! Overall I thought Hans, Harith Iskander and the whole Cuci 2 team did a good job.

Redang Here I Come!

In 3 days time I will be chillaxing in Redang. Aahhh bliss! I'm already so excited that I can't concentrate on work anymore. Sun. Sea. Sand. I've always been a beach person. I would rather go to Hawaii or Maldives than shop in London or Paris. Shopping is so overated sometimes. Hehehe..

Friends have advised me to wear eco-friendly sunblock so as to avoid coral bleaching. I've been reading about it. Seems that it's caused by among other things, increased or reduced water temperatures. So sad that our corals are dying.   

Ramadhan is just around the corner. Bulan untuk menambahkan ibadat dan pahala. Not bulan untuk ber"buffet" sampai tak ingat dunia. Must remember that.

My youngest brother just informed me that his wife is having a girl! They already have 2 girls and a boy. The last time they checked it was supposed to be a boy. Looks like my nephew Hareez will still enjoy the privileges of becoming the only boy. I told my brother to give me his youngest child for me to jaga. Saja jer. Mana tau, lepas I jaga then can melekat kat I plak. InsyaAllah :) We'll see how it goes. Kalau nak bagi then bagi terus tau..heheh..

Miss Congeniality

A friend sent me an email which contained news that Sandra Bullock is giving her husband, Jesse James a second chance. I really respect Sandra Bullock. She is just such a wonderful and good human being. In the news article there's also a quote by M.D. Keith Ablow. He said,

"Infidelity is almost never a reason why educated, introspective and forgiving people stay separated or divorced. If other facets of the relationship are present -- including commitment to one's children and an overriding sense that life is more meaningful together than apart -- then marriages can not only survive infidelity, but end up stronger, despite it."

This guy knows what he is talking about.

So Long and Goodbye!

Someone tweeted, "I would so much rather have a few of good friends than a lot of fake friends". I say Amin to that!

I would also like to say, "Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty".

So what I'm trying to say here is, YOU'RE the fake friend. You're also a coward for not having the balls to confront me and tell me you're hurt by what I purportedly said. If you were to confront me then you would know that the comments werent directed at you. It has nothing to do with you in fact.

I'm amazed at the troubles you had to go through to let me know what you thought of me. Calling me "the blackest pot" and "org yg tak sedar diri, tak reti nak cermin sendiri, konon bagus yg ckp ikut suka jerr"...I leave it to God to balas whatever you've said to me. For the 100th times, you got it all wrong..again!

All I want to say is so long old friend! You will not be missed.

Of Effing Idiot and A Crappy Drama

You know what's annoying? I'll tell you what's annoying.

You're in a restaurant with a bunch of friends. Then you ordered the food and wait for it to come. Food came for everyone. Then one person tasted her food and found that it was not that nice or it tasted like crap. Then this person would actually offer the not so nice food to her friends to taste to affirm that it is in fact not nice. I mean come on! If it's not nice then why the heck would you want to offer it to other people to taste? Just simply say, "Ladies, next time dont order this dish. It tastes like crap" would suffice.

What is it with people and the need to have affirmation? If you say your food is crap, trust me, I'll believe you. You dont need my opinion to affirm how crappy the food is. Plus it's not polite to offer crappy food to people. Tak belajar manners ke?

Oh and what's up with Mel "Psycho" Gibson? Has he gone mental?! The things that is spewing out of his mouth is pure filth! I got sick to my stomach listening to this audio of him fighting with Oksana on the phone. He needs to be admitted to a mental institution la. Psycho! And to think I used to idolise him especially after the movie Braveheart! Sheesh!

One more thing, I do watch malay dramas okay. I am not ashame to admit that (can ask my husband). But I am ashame to call "Duyung Aridinata" a malaysian product. The script macam sampah and merepek nak mampos. So sayang coz the dramas has the possibility of being a good fantasy drama. I sat through Dendam Orang Minyak, Sayang Cendana and even Siong but nothing compares to this Duyung drama man. Tony Eusoff as the Papa Duyung has the most ridiculous lines and I am dreading the scenes with Fasha Sandha. And to think that I've only seen 2 episodes!! I dont know how this drama can get better and I'm afraid to watch and find out and waste 1 hour of my life. Sigh.

A Lovely July

World Cup is over and Spain was the champion. Yay! Better Spain than the Neanderthals. As you can see I am still upset with the Neanderthals for kicking Brazil out of the WC so obviously I would support Spain in the finals. They played better anyway.

I watched Eclipse last weekend and thought it was corny as hell! But, I love the corniness of it all and that they actually followed the book! Sigh...I am still in team Edward but damn that Jacob is hawt on screen! If anyone read the book they would soooo be on team Edward okay. Those who are on team Jacob actually tidak menghayati the book sepenuhnya and terpengaruh dengan body 6 packs Taylor Lautner. Muahahaha!

I thought Kristen Stewart sucked as Bella. That girl cant act I tell you! No emotions at all. She can't even fake a cry! So kayu! Wahai Mr. Director, I personally think I can act better than her and I will rock as Bella. Hehehe..Seriously, this is like the 3rd movie already and Kristen's acting has NOT improved at all.

We have 3 mommies-to-be at the office and today we're organising a baby shower for all of them. I want a baby shower too coz I want presents! Hehehe..emo kejap.

I have 2 weddings to go to this weekend. I am running out of baju kurungs to wear lah.

Fasting month is around the corner. You guys dah ganti puasa?

There is no water in the toilet at my office. Smart building la sangat sampai takder air! Sheesh!

I cant wait till end of the month because my friends and I are going to Redang! Wooohoo! Sand, sea and sun! Hehehe..cant wait to go snorkelling. Cepatlah skit end of the month. I need a holiday!

Waka Waka Eh Eh...

Ok I have to keep the momentum going. Trying to update at least twice a week. Hopefully not "hot hot chicken shit"...hehehehe...

World Cup fever is ending soon. I'm not really a huge football fan so I don't watch all those EPL games but when it comes to World Cup then yeah I'm a fan! I support Brazil and it was heartbreaking when they lost to the Neanderthals. Now Spain and the Neanderthals are in the final. I'm sure you can guess who I will be rooting for. Definitely NOT the Neanderthals. Yes, I'm petty that way. A bit of a sore loser too. Hehehe..So you won't see me rooting for countries who have beaten Brazil. I don't care what people say about Brazil. Defence tak kuat la, everyone depending solely on Kaka la...Who cares? I still have faith in them. They will come back better and stronger in 2014. Hubby said I'm a very scary person when I watch the games especially when Brazil is playing. I turned into a "monster" somehow. LOL! I have to agree with him. What to do? He married a passionate woman so have to deal with it la kan? :P

I've got 4 weddings to attend in July. It's a busy, busy month. A colleague and a friend's sister will be getting married this weekend. Then an ex-colleague is getting married next week. Hubby's futsal buddy is also getting married next week.

Owning a property be it a house or kondo is pretty scary kan? I mean you have to deal with the monthly payments, groceries, utilities, management fees (if you live in a kondo) and furnitures. Hubby and I are seriously thinking about buying a kondo and moving out of my parents' place but thinking about all those expenses is already giving me a headache. But it must be done. If we dont move out now then we will be too comfortable at my parents place and will never move out. It's a pretty big decision I know. But I am excited. I get to decorate the kondo however I want to. And most importantly we have our privacy. I have been living with my parents since like forever. Rasa sedih la jugak if I move out especially when I wont be near my nephew and niece coz they usually sleep at my parents house.

But we've made our decision and we're sticking to it. We're definitely getting our own place and moving out. InsyaAllah all will be well. Pray for us :)

I Am Not A Tin Kosong

You see I'm not the kind of person who likes to "kipas/jilat bontot" my superiors. I let my my work speak for itself. But nowadays, told that's not how people do things anymore. "Tin kosong" is in and "diam-diam berisi" is out.

I've been told that for you to be noticed by the higher powers that be, you need to be more vocal during meetings. You need to speak up and give your views or do like what some people would do i.e. summarise the views of their colleagues and then voice it out confidently like it's their own views. Smart kan? I honestly can't stand these kind of people. You know, people who has opinions about EVERYTHING but not necessarily their own?!

I know a person who rarely socialises with his colleagues outside of work but if he hears that his boss was going to be there then he would turn up just to "show face". I just couldnt be bothered. If I dont feel like socialising after working hours then I wont bother turning up even if my boss was going to be there. But I know for a fact that socialising after office hours does help one's career.

I've been feeling very de-motivated lately. I need to get out of this funk I'm in or else I'm going to sink even deeper. God help me, please.

Should I Stay or Should I Go

This is my 241 posting. Cant believe I've been blogging since 2005. My blog will be 5 years old come Sept 2010. I've still got so much to say and write but sometimes I just dont have the energy to type them out.

The blogging community has changed so much. I missed my blogger friends who used to update their blogs at least 3 times a week! Now nak post once a month pun payah! Myself included. I know some friends who actually check on how I'm doing by reading my blog. If I write about something that upsets me, these friends will actually email/text me to ask me whether I'm alright and I appreciate that very much. Most of my friends are on my fb/twitter lists but some are not. So blogging is the only way for me to let them know that I'm alive and well.

Hubby posted something on his twitter. He said, "Hmmm...in d last month, added 2 new nephews back home. 2 more coming frm d wife's side. Wondering when it wld be our turn".

I felt so sad reading his tweet. We both want children so badly. But I dont want to dwell on it. We will just have to do everything in our power to make that happen. InsyaAllah.

In the meantime, I'm so thankful to have wonderful, cute and smart nieces and nephew to make me happy. I think I would go crazy if they're not around. Pic below is of my nephew. He's 5 years old and this year has started going to kindie. Looks like an angel but OMG! suka menjawab!

The one below is taken at the mosque during my cousin's akad nikah. The one in orange is my 4 year old niece and the one in green is my 2 year old niece. Yup, my life would definitely be incomplete without them.

Al-Fatihah for Tok Ayah...

My grandfather, Tok Ayah passed away on Monday the 21st June 2010 at 11.45 am at the age of 83. I wrote about how the passing of my grandma (click here), Tok Yang had affected him so much. Before he died, he often cried himself to sleep thinking about my grandma. He missed her so much that after she died that he doesnt seemed to have a will to live.

Tok Ayah had diabetes. A very bad one. He had been struggling with the disease for a few years even before my Tok Yang passed away. It got worse after Tok yang died. He just didnt care about his health anymore, because Tok Yang wasnt around to lovingly nag him when he had more than a cup of teh tarik or a bar of chocolate. Losing Tok Yang was very hard for him. My Tok Ayah was a man of few words. He doesnt nag, he doesnt get angry and most importantly he was a loving grandpa.

When I was 10 and 11 years old, my parents left for US and UK to do their masters. They left me and my bro in my grandparents' care because they said that they couldnt bring all 4 of us with them.

When I was in Standard 4, I was schooling in the morning session and every Monday there was extra classes. So every Monday we had to go home at 4pm. There were 2 recesses, one at 10 am and another one at 1.30pm. Every Monday without fail my Tok Ayah would send a pack of nasi campur to me at 1.30pm and then he would pick me up from school at 4pm on his motorbike. I would hug him tightly where the journey from my school to my house took about half an hour. So from Mon to Fri, without fail Tok Ayah would pick me up from school and I would go home with him on his motorbike. I loved riding on his motorbike. It was like an adventure and sometimes when I was too tired I would actually fall asleep hugging him on that bike.

When I was staying with my grandparents, they fed me so well that 2 years after my parents came back from overseas they were shocked to see that their only daughter had put on so much weight that she was unrecognisable to them! My mom was shocked when she met me at the train station coz I was so fat! Hehehe...Well, what do you expect? When I was sad and missing my mom, my Tok yang would cook for me. I was never hungry when I lived with them.

I miss Tok Yang and Tok Ayah so much! Tok Yang was the one who started calling me "sherieza" and the name stuck until now. Whenever I went back to their place in Sg Petani, Tok Yang would already started thinking of what to cook for us. Tok Ayah would be sitting in his favourite chair and smiled and greeted us as we came through the door no matter at what hour. They would actually get out of bed and greet us at the door!

I regretted not visiting Tok Ayah so often after Tok Yang died. I was busy with my married life and I didnt spend as much time as I would like to with Tok Ayah. That was the only thing I regretted most. Tok Ayah was the gentlest soul I've ever known. Even when he was cheated out of his inheritance he was cool about it. He didnt fight or made noise because he believed Allah is Great and those people will get their punishment from god.

He was also an expert silat master. He was strong when he was young and could take out anyone easily, be it 1 or 10 men at one time.

My Tok Ayah was such a patient man. Do you know what he said when the nurses came to sponge bath him at blardy 5am while the aircond was in full blast? He said, "Takpalah, dah keja depa." The bloody doctor didnt even detect that he had pneumonia! How can one not contract pneumonia if one was given a sponge bath at blardy 5am and all clothes was removed while the aircond was blasting full force and one was not wearing anything for an hour???!!! Arrghh!! When my aunt told me all this stories it made me sooooo mad I felt like going to the hospital and punch the doctors and nurses there! But when all that was happening my Tok Ayah never complained. He simply took it. He didnt tell us how much pain he was in when the nurses was jabbing a tube down his throat to check for ulcers in his stomach, he didnt complain about how the nurses had woken him up for sponge baths everyday at 5am and he didnt complain about his bed sores while he was in the hospital.

His last words to my aunties before he slipped into a coma and passed away the day after was, "Jangan risau, Ayah okay". Even then he wanted to assure us that he was going to be okay. He went peacefully. In a way I'm happy he went because at least he wasn't in pain anymore but at the same time it was really sad losing him.

Rest in peace my dear Tok Ayah. Semoga Tok Ayah ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman. My prayers are with you always. Al-fatihah...

The day the snoring stopped...

I've been on MC for the past 2 weeks. And I'm happy to report that I've lost 4 kilos all due to the tonsillectomy operation I had undergone 2 weeks ago. No joke okay. Not being able to eat hot and spicy food is really killing me. Not only did I undergo tonsillectomy operation, the doctor also did a septoplasty operation on me. Basically he took out a crooked bone in my nose. He said he had to do it to clear the air passage in my nose so I could breath better. He also cleared up my sinus. The operation took almost 4 hours and recovery process is very long. I have been enjoying copius amount of ice cream...like a week after the op. Right after the op, even swallowing water hurts.The first few days I could only eat porridge and soup. Then a friend who had undergone the op had told me that I have to try and eat solid food so I can get rid of the whitish coloured slough on my throat and get better. It was tough swallowing rice. I felt like a thousand knives were cutting through my throat.

Now 2 weeks after the op I can eat solid food but still no hot and spicy food. Im really craving for nasi lemak with sambal paru. Sigh.

Dalam MC tu sempat lagi pegi tengok Spirit of Rugby Challenge 2010 at the Kelana Jaya Stadium. For the first time I saw The Classic All Blacks did the haka and I shook hands with the legendary Jonah Lomu. He looked so much older and not so energetic. But it was funny to see that everytime he got the ball (which was not so often) the crowd would go crazy and cheered for him like mad. I guess he is still considered one of the greatest rugby player ever.

That was about the only excitement I got during my 2 weeks mc. I dont even know why I went to the rugby match, considering I cant even shout and cheer. I guess I was just so bored at home that I would give anything to get out of the house.

I'll be back at the office next week. And I promise you when I start work I'd be bitching about it and will be telling my colleagues how I miss staying at home, eating ice cream and watching all the tv series. So far I've finished The Good Wife, Supernatural Season 5 and True Blood season 2 and starting on 1st epi of season 3. Think now I'm gonna start on Gossip Girl Season 3, Grey's Anatomy Season 6 and Life Unexpected. Best kan duduk rumah? hehehe...

Freddy's Coming For You

When I was about 9 years old I was chased and bitten by a puppy. That incident traumatised me so much that until now I'm afraid of puppies, no matter how cute and adorable they are. I'm also afraid of dogs as a result of that wretched puppy who bit my leg.

I've also known a friend who got into a really bad accident and it took him years before he could get into a car, let alone apply for a driver's license. We would sometimes kutuk him (behind his back of course) and say that it is sooo tak macho for a man who is in his late 30s who cant drive a car and expect his date to pick him up everytime. I guess he got over his fears now becoz I heard he got his license and bought himself a Volvo.

What is it about traumatic experience that leaves us paralysed with fears? Is it really all in our mind? How do we overcome such fears? I've always heard people say, "it's mind over matter". Oh well, it depends on how strong a person's mind is I guess. And it would also depend on whether they are willing to get over that fear.

There's also this friend of mine who is supposedly afraid of cats. Some would say it's a stupid thing to be afraid of, I mean come on! How scary can a cat be right? We would always teased her and say that she's "mengada-ngada" because everytime she sees a cat she would scream bloody mary and jump on a chair. And because she's so pretty guys would always come to her rescue and chase the cat away. Pfffftttt! We would talk amongst ourselves and say that she's pretending to be afraid of cats and was only doing that to get attention. Thinking back now I genuinely believed that she was not really afraid of them cats. She was just "geli" with their "bulu". Hehehe...

So anyway, what I am trying to say here is that I'm not willing to get over my fear of dogs and cockroaches. Lantaklah apa korang nak cakap. Word.

To Lend or Not To Lend

A friend, lets call him A once called me up and asked me whether he should lend money to another friend of ours, lets call him B and how much should he lend to B. I told A, if he wants to lend money to B just because B is a friend and he wants to help a friend out then he should lend to B an amount which he knows that even if he doesnt get back the money he would be okay with it and that it won't ruin his friendship with B. In other words, "kira burn/halal la".

Lending money to friends or even relatives is a tricky thing. On one hand you really want to help your friend out but on the other hand if that friend doesnt pay you back then it could ruin your friendship with that person. Say you make it a point to only lend money to good friends but how does one define a "good friend"? Someone whom you've known since childhood? Someone you've known since you first worked at the office 5 years ago? If that friend has a history of not paying back his debt then you know you should not be lending him money. But what if he's never borrowed any money from you before?

Say you've lent your friend the money and when the time has come for him to pay, he somehow "forgot" (give benefit of the doubt jugak la kan) to pay. So you text him reminding him to pay. No reply. Then you call him but he didnt pick up your calls. He didnt even reply your text messages. So what now? Takkan la nak bagi dia 100 ribu kali missed call. Nanti orang ingat hadap sangat dengan that hutang but the truth is, you really do need to get back the money. So what else can you do? Nak report police over la pulak if he only borrowed tak sampai RM2K for example.

What I want to know is, how do you decide whether or not to lend money to friends or relatives? What is the deciding factor?

Bikin Filem

I like watching malay dramas. That is like my guilty pleasures. I enjoy watching Adamaya, Mertua vs. Menantu, Nur Kasih, all the horror dramas like Ku Seru, Penunggu Gunung Raya and Jangan Pandang Belakang and the occasional Redah Kasi Pecah. Yes, I watch cerita melayu. So what?? I dont care if people say I'm lame for watching those dramas. Some people think jatuh martabat tengok cerita melayu, except when it's directed by Allahyarhamah Yasmin Ahmad. Why is that? There are so many good malay directors out there like Afdlin Shauki, Mamat Khalid (yes! I enjoyed all his movies okay! so sue me!), Shuhaimi Baba, Aziz M. Osman and Amir Muhammad (although I thought Susuk was confusing but hey! it was somewhat interesting). Just because we have the likes of Yusuf Haslam and Razak Mohaideen in the film industry, that doesnt mean all malay movies sucked.

Sometimes I cant stand arrogant people and posers who think they're above it all, you know the ones who proudly say they dont watch malay movies/dramas but I know when they're home alone, they actually watch Gerak Khas! Puhleeess.

I admit there are some malay dramas yang memang kalau you tengok you feel like pulling your hair out, like WTF is this drama all about but not all cerita melayu takder purpose. Some do have good pengajaran like you should take good care of your parents, dont sakitkan their hati and jangan dok menangkan your wife jer (which happens a lot in malay families), or jangan pinjam from along or else kena potong jari...u know those kind of pengajaran :P

So lastly I would like to say Filem Kita, Wajah Kita. Kalau tak suka tengok, tutup tv saja. Kutuk-kutuk pun tak guna. Kalau ingat terer sangat pegilah buat better drama!

It's Not A Good Friday.

Let me start by saying I am not a saint. I have my flaws. God knows I have my flaws. I'm not perfect. No one is. But I do know where to draw the line. I know that in life whatever you give, be it good or bad you will get back double. It's true what they say, what goes around comes around. So there are a few things that I will never do, not if I can help it.

The top of my list would be, "I would never hurt my husband by having an affair" and/or "I would never wreck someone's marriage by stealing their husband". I despise women who do that. In fact I curse women who has nothing better to do than to kacau rumahtangga orang lain. What goes around comes around. Oh puhlees! Men are also to be blamed. Tepuk sebelah tangan tak berbunyi. Before you even think about cheating on your wife, think about your children. Think about God!

That's all I have to say about that!

The State of Being

Song on replay - Hey, Soul Sister by Train. I love the lyrics...plus it makes me smile...

DVDs watched - Daybreakers, Shutter Island, Gamer and Did You Hear About the Morgans?

Book I'm currently reading, very very slowly - A Colossal Failure of Common Sense : The Incredible Story of the Collapse of Lehman Brothers.

Last movie watched in cinema - Alice In Wonderland.

Can't stop Tweeting.

Hubby is pestering me to enter the KL Marathon on 26th June 2010. The 5km "fun" run. Since when is running a fun thing to do, hmmmm?

Of Edward and a movie marathon

I am thankful for friends who acknowledge the fact that I am crazy about Edward Cullen. No, not the actor Robert Pattinson who plays Edward but the real Edward Cullen from the book. My friends threw us (another friend and I who celebrated our birthday in Feb) a surprise Twlight/New Moon theme birthday lunch at Food Foundry yesterday. Food was so-so but I was in great company. Thank god for lovely friends!

I watched Percy Jackson last weekend. For those who read the book, they might be a tad disappointed because there were few scenes from the book that were not shown in the movie. I was looking forward to seeing Poseidon in his Hawaiian shirt but that wasnt in the movie. But all in all it was a very entertaining how.

I also watched Valentine's Day. I was however very disappointed with the movie. Maybe because there were so many famous actors that they didnt develop the storyline well. Love Actually to me is still the best romantic-comedy-drama movie I've ever seen. It's really hard to top that one. He's Not That Into You was good but still not as good as Love Actually.

The Wolfman was not as scary as I thought. There were few scenes that made me screamed and jumped off my seat but still not scary enough. The transformation scene was not that impressive either.

So, what shall I watch next?

Of Wagyu and Chippendale Dance

I am so friggin sleepy. Had to wake up early to go to work as I have to make a presentation to my department. Thankfully it went well. I get so nervous everytime I have to present in public. Considering I have been presenting my cases before a judge when I was practicing, I should not get so nervous. Judges throw files, bosses dont...well, at least my boss doesnt throw any files at us lah.

I can't bloody stop yawning right now. Help me!

So yesterday was my birthday. Hubby took me to Jake's Charbroiled and I ordered the 300gm wagyu beef. Oh-Am-Gee! It was so succulent and tender and delicious and I managed to finish it off..Hahahaha! Amazing right? He got me a necklace with an alphabet "S" pendant which I absolutely love, famous amos cookies (my husband loves to feed me) and a very cute card. Last night, I was so busy preparing for my presentation this morning that I forgot to make him do the Chippendale dance. Hahaha! That was the intention actually but somehow I totally forgot! Lucky him. I'm so gonna make him do the dance on my next birthday. Seriously.

Even though my birthday is officially over, I'm still busy replying "thank-yous" to everyone on facebook and to those who sent me birthday wish via text messages. I'm so thankful I have so many wonderful friends and I love them to bits. Hubby always say that he never gets birthday wishes as many as I do (even before FB) and I told him the reason for that is because his birthday falls on Labour Day. I mean it's a public holiday so people tend to forget their friend's birthday unless they're in the office.

I am seriously falling off my chair now because of this sleepiness. I can hardly open my eyes! Okay I'm off to make some coffee now. Hopefully that will keep me awake till balik time.

p/s : I'm reading Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief as fast as I can...hopefully I can finish it before the movie comes out.

Crap and other bullshit

I need to do something to cheer myself up. Everything just seems to either bore me or irritate me nowadays. My friends say maybe I need to get away so when I come back I will feel energised and refreshed. Yeah right! Like that is going to happen. Usually after you come back from a holiday, you need another holiday to recover from your previous one. It's neverending!

I am not suffering from depression. I live a well-balanced life I should think. But sometimes it is just so hard to get out of bed. What is wrong with me?? Even my husband could not cheer me up sometimes. It's just frustrating for me and for him too I guess because when he tells me something my mind just wonders off and i ended up not registering whatever he said. And that of course annoys him, which in turn annoys me.

I just have this feeling you know...like I can't pinpoint what is bothering me but I just feel so bothered! Been feeling like this for a few weeks now. It's an annoying feeling to have.

Maybe I've been feeling this way because I'm turning 36 next week. On the 8th Feb to be exact. But the thing is I've never been depressed about turning a year older because I really believe that age is just mind over matter, you know if you don't mind then it won't matter?!

I think I am just afraid of getting older and not getting pregnant...like ever. Yeah, yeah belum rezeki lagi, I know the speech. It's just so bloody annoying when i think about it. It would be so much better if as we get older, our womb gets younger, don't you think so? Then I don't have to worry about all that biological clock is ticking crap.

Oh crap. I am going to be 36 next week and I am terrified. i am so bloody terrified. God help me please.

Love.Makes.You.Dizzy

Roses are red

Violets are blue

The best decision I've ever made

Was by marrying you...

Happy 3rd Wedding Anniversary my dear husband...may we have many more anniversaries to celebrate...