Happy New Year Everyone!

In a few more days we will be coming to the end of 2008. A lot of things had happened this year, some are exciting and nice and some are just sad and depressing.

Hubby and I have been trying very hard for a baby this year but I don’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon. Disappointed? Yes, of course I am. But it’s only been a year and I am not going to give up that easily. I have been to a doctor and InsyaAllah we will do whatever that is necessary to get pregnant. My relationship with hubby has been really good so far. We have our fights as most couple normally do, some fights were silly ones and some were pretty intense. But we made-up really fast and we talked more about our problems with each other, instead of giving each other silent treatments. Hubby is the kind of guy who wants to talk about everything. I mean if I get angry at him for some reason then he would just badger me to talk about it over and over again. If I don’t answer his call then he would call 50 times and leave countless text messages until I answer them. He sometimes doesn’t understand the concept of leaving me alone to cool off for a while and hence causing me to get even angrier with him. If I am angry then I just want to be left alone until I cool off on my own because if you’re trying to use logic with me when I’m mad then you’re wasting your breath and time.

But now I think he is getting it. He knows now how to handle me when I’m upset. Thank god.

Work wise, everything has been good, Alhamdulillah. I am surrounded by really good people. I don’t think of them as my colleagues anymore but as good friends. One of them is getting married next year and I foresee we will be having lots of fun planning her hen night. I already know what I’m going to make her do *evil laugh*

I heard we may be getting our bonus and increment tonight. I hope and pray it’s a good bonus. I don’t understand when employers say that because of the economic downturn they have to slash our bonus. I mean we worked really hard all year round despite the economic downturn so it should not affect our bonus at all since we are entitled to it, right?

As for friendships, well, I have to say this year has been a very trying year for me. Some misunderstanding had caused a rift to the friendship and friends ended up not talking to each other. We can apologise and asked for forgiveness till kingdom come and try to salvage whatever that is left of the friendship but if one party decide that the friendship is worth foregoing then there is nothing we can do. As for me, I can only give her time and hoped that in the future we will be able to talk to each other like we used to. Not everything bad had happened this year. I’ve made some wonderful friends whom I know I can count on for support and I have my wonderful existing friends who are willing to accept my shortcomings and understand where I am coming from. I can be loud and opinionated at times but I am a softie inside.

Anyway, I’ve learned that you can’t take friendship for granted. I’ve learned it the hard way. As much as I want to salvage the friendship, I have to accept the fact that you can’t make people do what they don’t want to do. When their heart is no longer in it, then there is no point to continue further.

With all that said and done, I have to say that I am looking forward to 2009.

I am looking forward to make a baby or babies (hubby said that there are twins in his family…hehehe…) with hubby.

I am looking forward to my 2nd Wedding Anniversary and my 35th Birthday in February.

I am looking forward to my next promotion. Heh…InsyaAllah. Just have to be more focus and work harder.

I want to wish everyone Merry Xmas and a very Happy New Year. I pray that next year will be a better year for all of us.

A Dedication

My mom and dad read this poem during my cousin's wedding. I don't know who the author of the poem is but the words are really beautiful. I have a feeling it is written by an Indonesian poet or maybe it is a translation from an Arabic poem.

UNTUK SUAMI

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan

menyingkap tabir rahsia

Isteri yang kamu nikahi

tidaklah semulia Khadijah

tidaklah setaqwa Aisyah

pun tidak setabah Fatimah

Justeru isterimu hanyalah wanita akhir zaman

yang punya cita-cita

menjadi solehah...

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan

mengajar kita kewajiban bersama

Isteri menjadi tanah kamu langit penaungnya

Isteri ladang tanaman kamu pemagarnya

Isteri kiasan ternakan kamu gembalanya

Isteri adalah murid kamu mursyidnya

Isteri bagaikan anak kecil kamu tempat bermanjanya

Saat isteri menjadi madu kamu teguklah sepuasnya

seketika isteri menjadi racun kamulah penawar bisanya

seandainya isteri tulang yang bengkok berhatilah meluruskannya...

Pernikahan atau perkawinan

menginsafkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa

Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah SWT.

karena memiliki isteri yang tak sehebat mana

justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa

kamu bukanlah Rasulullah SAW

pun bukanlah Sayyidina Ali Karamallahhuwajhah

cuma suami akhir zaman

yang berusaha menjadi soleh... amin...

UNTUK ISTERI

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan

membuka tabir rahsia

Suami yang menikahi kamu

tidaklah semulia Muhammad SAW

tidaklah setaqwa Ibrahim

pun tidak setabah Ayyub

atau pun segagah Musa

apalagi setampan Yusuf

Justru suamimu hanyalah pria akhir zaman

yang punya cita-cita

membangun keturunan yang soleh...

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan

mengajar kita kewajiban bersama

Suami menjadi pelindung kamu penghuninya

suami adalah nahkoda kapal kamu navigatornya

suami bagaikan balita yang nakal kamu adalah penuntun kenakalannya

saat suami menjadi raja kamu nikmati anggur singgahsananya

seketika suami menjadi bisa kamulah penawar ubatnya

seandainya suami masinis yang lancang sabarlah memperingatkannya...

Pernikahan ataupun perkahwinan

mengajarkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa

Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah SWT
kerana memiliki suami yang tak segagah mana

justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa

kamu bukanlah Khadijah yang begitu sempurna di dalam menjaga

pun bukanlah Hajar yang begitu setia dalam sengsara

cuma wanita akhir zaman

yang berusaha menjadi solehah... amin...

I Did It My Waaaaaayyyyyyy!

I attended my cousin’s wedding last weekend at the Putrajaya Lake Club. I have to say it is such a beautiful place to hold a reception, next to the lake and all. It was very romantic and the fact that my cousin and his bride arrived at the lake on a boat together with the flower girls and boys made it even more romantic. Sigh…ni yang terasa macam nak kahwin lagi sekali ni…hahahaha…

The bride is an Iranian and during the akad nikah ceremony I saw the gifts or “hantaran” that my cousin had given his wife, which includes 2 candlestick stands placed on the left and right hand side of a very large mirror. I didn’t know what the 2 stands and the mirror signifies but my cousin said that it was customary for Iranian men to give such gifts to their bride. I had to find out and like any normal curious person would do, I googled. Hehehe...

It turns out that the Mirror represents fate and the two candlestick stands or Candelabras represent the bride and groom and brightness in their future. The mirror and two candelabras are symbols of light and fire, two very important elements in the Zoroastrian culture. When the bride enters the room she has her veil covering her face. Once the bride sits beside the groom she removes her veil and the first thing that the groom sees in the mirror should be the reflection of his wife-to-be. However, during the akad nikah there wasn’t any veil and the groom didn’t sit opposite the mirror. So I guess the custom got modernised or something eh?

The reception in Iran is going to be held sometime next year and my mom and aunts are already excited about taking the trip to Iran. I read that for Iranians, marriage is an event which must be celebrated not quietly but with glory and distinction. It is the most conspicuous of all the occasions and is celebrated in the presence of a fairly large assembly. So you can imagine how excited my mom and aunts were of the thought of going to Iran. However, I’m sure it would be more of a shopping expedition than anything else.

Anyhow, back to the reception. The reception was very informal and small. I don’t think there were more than 200 guests. To me it was the ideal kind of wedding as it was only attended by close family members and friends. My mom and dad (being the oldest married couple there) read a very nice poem composed by an Arab poet to the newlyweds and after that the guests had requested my dad to sing for them. My dad being a karaoke enthusiast of course agreed and sang My Way by Frank Sinatra and Widuri by Broery Marantika. I know I know, not quite the right kind of songs to sing at a wedding but it was an unexpected request. Hehehe…

Thinking about my cousin’s reception last weekend and my own wedding reception last year I realised that sometimes not everyone get to have an ideal wedding reception. Receptions are usually held and dictated by the parents of the bride and groom. The bride and groom have little to say or no say at all sometimes due to the fact that they are not the ones who usually fork out money to pay for the reception. That’s why sometimes you see people having 3 receptions, one for close friends, one for family members and another one for friends of the parents.

To me it is a waste of money to have so many receptions but I guess if you have the money to spend and since it is the most important day of your life and you want to have the wedding that you’ve always dreamed of then I guess some people don’t mind spending all that money. However, some people tend to forget that the wedding reception is not the most important part of all; the most important part is the marriage itself. What happens after the reception, after all the guests had gone home and after the presents have been opened is all that matters. It is the start of your journey as husband and wife, the compromise and sacrifice that you have to make for each other. Marriage is not always a bed of roses. There will be times when you just want to kick him in the nut when he did or said something that made you angry. Sometimes you want to make love and he doesn’t and vice versa. Sometimes you want to watch Sehati Berdansa but he wants to watch football live on ESPN.

Whatever your differences are, you have to remember to communicate and talk it out with each other. If one day you wake up and suddenly realised that you have nothing to say to your partner even after he or she said or did something that hurt your feelings or you just don’t care about the fight that you just had with your partner, then that is the day when you should be worried about the marriage.

Ku Bukan Superstarrrr!

You guys have to listen to this song and watch the videoclip. Seriously hilarious okay! It's by this Indonesian group called Project Pop and the song is called Bukan Superstar...

Oh before I forget, I want to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha :)

Bukan Superstar lyrics

Andai aku Pasha Ungu
semua wanita kan memburuku
Bila aku Ariel Peterpan
kau yakin ngefans karena gua keren

Haa haa haaa… Haa haa haaa…

Sexy badannya.. Mulan Jameela
cantiknya dia seperti aku
Giring Nidji sahabat aku
dekat denganku.. dialah aku..

Tapi kenyataan aku bukan siapa-siapa
kuingin engkau mencintaiku apa adanya

Ku bukan superstar kaya dan terkenal
Ku bukan saudagar yang punya banyak kapal
Ku bukan bangsawan, ku bukan priyayi
Ku hanyalah orang yang ingin dicintai

Haa haa haaa… Haa haa haaa…

Andai ku Letto wis pasti aku wong jowo
Tapi kenyataan aku bukan siapa-siapa
kuingin engkau mencintaiku apa adanya

Ku bukan superstar kaya dan terkenal
Ku bukan saudagar yang punya banyak kapal
Ku bukan bangsawan, ku bukan priyayi
Ku hanyalah orang yang ingin dicintai

Kata orang ku mirip Glenn Fredly
suara merdu, wanita jatuh hati
Namun semua itu hanya mimpi bagimu woohoo~

Jadi… semua itu hanya mimpi?
Ya iya laah… masya ya iya dong
duren aja dibelah bukan dibedong

Ku bukan superstar kaya dan terkenal
Ku bukan saudagar yang punya banyak kapal
Ku bukan bangsawan, ku bukan priyayi
Ku hanyalah orang yang ingin dicintai

Kamu bukan super, kamu bukan setar
Kalo digabungin kamu bukan supersetarr..
Ku bukan bangsawan, ku bukan priyayi
Ku hanyalah orang yang ingin dicintai

Haa haa haaa… Haa haa haaa…

Hey Mr. DJ put a record on I wanna dance with my baby!

Thanks to Hubby, I’ve been listening to these Indonesian songs over and over again. They’re really good!

Cinta Ini Membunuhku by d’Masiv
Tinggal Kenangan by Caramel
Terima Kasih Cinta and Sadis by Afgan

Oh yeah, that reminds me. Guys, there’s going to be a Livesounds Indie Rock Fest here in KL. Details below :-

On 5 December from 9 p.m. onwards @ Rainforest Bar, Pavilion KL, bands such as Andra & The Backbone and Lightcraft will be performing. On 19 December from 9 p.m. onwards @ Wine Room, Asian Heritage Row, Marcell and Dewi Dewi will be performing. On 27 December from 9 p.m. onwards @ Bar SaVanh Too, Plaza Mon’t Kiara, performances by Shiela On 7 and The Rock.

For more information, check out http://www.livesounds.com.my

David Cook and David Archuleta of American Idol came out with their new albums. Cook’s album is okay but not as great as Daughtry’s 1st album. Not many ballads but I still love his voice. I like Mr. Sensitive, Lie, Avalanche, Permanent and The Time of My Life. Archuleta’s album is not bad either. His cover of Robbie William’s Angel is not bad but I still prefer the Mr. William’s version. I also like To Be With You, Falling,

I’ve also been listening to Taylor Swift’s latest album. I’m not a fan of country music but I think her album is quite good. Although I think some of the songs sound quite the same after you listen to them over and over again. Strictly for teeny boppers. Oh that reminds me, I love Jonas Brothers’ Lovebug too. Hehehe…such a cute song, don’t you think? Listening to a bunch of kids singing about how lovestruck they are makes me feel so old…

Beyonce’s album called I Am…Sasha Fierce is also good. I like If I Were A Boy, Halo, Satellites, Ave Maria, Disappear and Diva. This time around she didn’t shout as much, more controlled I think. Another singer I’m crazy about is Ingrid Michaelson. Her voice is simply amazing. Her latest album is called Be Ok. I love all the songs in that album especially You and I, Lady In Spain, Keep Breathing, Oh What A Day and Giving Up.

How can I forget Britney Spears??! It’s her birthday today by the way. Britney came out with her latest album called Circus. It was so much better than her last album. She looks good too.

I have to say listening to music is how I unwind. Some people play sports, some bake but for me listening to music is the best form of therapy after a long and hard day at work.

Advice

It’s been a month now since my grandmother passed away. My aunt just sent us an email. She said that my grandfather hasn’t been eating (I saw him 2 weeks ago and he has lost some weight) and has been crying most of the time. When we asked him if he’s okay he will say that he’s doing fine but deep down we know he’s not. We think he’s feeling very lonely and depress. He told my aunt that he feels like he’s burdening his children.

What should we do to make him feel better? We’re at lost. I know he needs time to mourn and be sad but how long should we let him be that way? Is there anything we can do to help him? I really need some advice here.

My grandfather is a very quiet and private man. The kind of person who keeps everything bottled up inside. It’s very hard to get him to talk about his feelings. Even when he has a problem he won’t show it. He will only talk about his problems with my late grandmother.

We really want to help him. But we don’t know what to do.

Diva is a female version of a Hustla?

What is a Diva? According to one of the dictionary I found online, a Diva is a person who considers herself (or by extension himself) much more important than others, has high expectations of others and becomes angry when their standards or demands are not met.

According to Wikipedia, the term is often used with a negative connotation. This derives from the implication that a star who is a "diva" is arrogant, difficult to work with, high-maintenance, manipulative, fussy, highly strung, privileged and demanding. Professional singers and actors often use this term to describe someone who desires the stage spotlight over others.

I think I’ve had the misfortune of meeting one or two divas in my lifetime and let me just say that not one of them is a popular singer or a superstar. Hence, I am wondering why these insignificant people act like one???!!

I had encountered one such diva-like character while I was helping out with one of the performance for my company’s annual dinner to be held in 3 weeks time. I don’t know her that well but you know how sometimes some people can just get under your skin even though you don’t know them that well? You just get that vibe…that uncomfortable feeling when you’re with that person. She was very eager to perform, heck she even managed to get a solo spot! I have nothing against her eagerness, it’s just that during practice you can see that she was trying to show off, like she had so much more experience and that everyone else’s dance technique just pale in comparison to hers. I just want to go up to her and say, “Woman, chill will ya??!!!” but I’m sure I would just be wasting my time and breath. I just hope she doesn’t demand a changing room filled with white roses and lilies from top to bottom like J.Lo.

Another predicament I’m in is figuring out what to wear for this Annual Dinner. The theme is Middle Eastern and I’m just so tempted to borrow one of my mom’s “jubah” and be done with it. Kalau body cam model bolehlah pakai macam kat bawah ni tapi sayang seribu kali sayang bodyku bukan macam model…if I wear something like below it would be like sarung nangka! Hahaha! Sigh…

Where's My Money Tree?

“Don't you worry there my honey

We might not have any money

But we've got our love to pay the bills”

That was some of the lyrics from the song “You and I” by Ingrid Michaelson. Hmmm…Can you survive on love alone or is it all about the money, all about the dum dum dum dum dum dum?

I posted the lyrics on my FB status and I’ve got some interesting comments. Some went “aaaaaawwwwwww…” but others have pretty strong opinions about how important money is and that you can’t live on love alone. To each his/her own I guess. Some people are fairly content earning less income in a job that they love like working for the NGOs. Some doesn’t mind slaving themselves in the office for a 5 figure salary. Is there a balance to all of this?

We are presented with choices everyday when it comes to earning or spending money.

If you were given a choice to work overseas like in Sudan or Iraq and earn a 5 figure salary but your spouse refuse to come with you, would you still go ahead and accept the job? Would you be willing to leave your spouse and kids behind? Some would say you’re being very noble to make that sacrifice for your family. But is it worth it? Are you being noble or selfish?

It’s all comes down to making the right decision for yourself. I know we can’t live on love alone. That only happens in a fairy tales. But I would like to think that I would rather live moderately and enjoy the simple things in life than working to death just to earn a 5 figure salary.

At the end of the day, you won’t be able to enjoy all that money anyway if you’re forever stressed out. Your partner will also be stressed out looking at you stressing out. You would eventually drop dead. And that ain’t fun at all.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Rest in Peace my beloved Tok Yang

I lost someone very close and dear to me 4 days ago. My grandmother or Tok Yang as I fondly called her had passed away on Monday the 27th October at the age of 76. She wasn’t sick or anything like that. In fact she looked really healthy when we had our family gathering the day before. She was eating and laughing. No one would have thought that she would leave us all so suddenly like this. Even my grandfather was in a state of denial for a while. He couldn’t believe that his beloved wife had passed on before him. She and Tok Ayah had been married for 60 over years and they have 13 children of which my mother was the eldest.

My Tok Ayah looked so lost after the funeral. He was crying all the time. Sometimes he forgets that his wife had died. He would asked one of us to ask Tok Yang whether dah masuk belum waktu Zohor/Asar/Magrib/Isya’. He depended on her for everything. I don’t know how life would be like for him after this. My Tok Yang was a very strong woman. She was the one who took care of Tok Ayah, bathed him, cooked for him and was his companion.

My Tok Yang had a heart problem but we didn’t think that was the cause of her demise. On the morning of the 27th, around 2 a.m. she woke up and told my aunt that she was hungry. So my aunt fed her quaker oats. She was purging for a bit and had difficulty breathing. My aunt had telephoned my mom to ask her to come over to the house so they could take Tok Yang to the hospital but it was too late. By the time my aunt had gone into the room to ask her to get ready, she had stopped breathing. She looked so peaceful and serene.

You know how sometimes when people know they are going to die they would do or say things out of the ordinary? My Tok Yang told her children that this year was the best raya she ever had because all her children and grandchildren went back to Sg Petani to celebrate raya with her and that this year would probably be her last raya. But of course no one wants to hear things like that so they told her, “Jangan merepek la Mak” and they believed that she was going to live forever or at least for a few more years. I mean no one wants to think that their mother is going to leave them right?

My Tok Yang loved her jewelleries especially gold. Most old women do I think. But my Tok Yang told my mom that she was going to return the gold necklace that my aunt bought for her as a raya gift because she felt that she had no use for them anymore. We ignored the sign.

My Tok Yang loved her garden and her fish pond. Whenever she was supposed to come to KL for a check-up, she would remind my uncle who lives nearby to come to her house everyday to water her plants and feed her fish while she was away. She would remind my uncle a million times and would call him everyday to remind him. She would do this everytime without fail. My uncle told us that the day before she was supposed to leave for KL, she didn’t even call and ask my uncle to look after her garden. My uncle said that it was like she didn’t even care what happened to her garden while she was gone. Again, we ignored the sign.

None of us had a chance to say goodbye to Tok Yang. But one thing I know for sure is that she knew we all loved her very much. She was the glue that stuck everyone together. And now she is gone forever.

Al-Fatihah to my Tok Yang. Tok Yang, we love you and we are going to miss you so much.

Yoga Is Dangerous?

Seriously???? Isn't it just a form of exercise? This was reported in The Star newspaper today. Hmmmm..what next huh?

Thursday October 30, 2008

National Fatwa Council to make a ruling on yoga

GEORGE TOWN: The National Fatwa Council will soon come out with a ruling on yoga exercise.
The Islamic Development Department’s deputy director-general (operations) Othman Mustapha said the council’s chairman, Prof Datuk Dr Abdul Shukor Husin, would make the announcement.

Othman told reporters this after opening the two-day seminar on Islamic Jurisprudence and Eternal Islamic Thinking at Universiti Sains Malaysia here yesterday.

On Tuesday, lecturer Prof Zakaria Stapa of Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia’s Islamic Studies Centre advised Muslims who have taken up yoga to stop practising it as it could deviate from their belief. – Bernama

Horatio Caine...the man we all love to hate

1) Only a man like Horatio Caine could defeat a group of Mala Noche Gang Members in Brazil all by himself and then flew to Miami and arrived fresh and relaxed at the same time.

2) No one can do a one-liner better than Horatio Caine, with style too I might add.

Alexx : What I'm saying is I'm not an anthropologist. It could be a large woman or a small man.
Horatio : You know what they say "You lie down with the Devil (paused and then puts on his sunglasses), you wake up in Hell".

Suspect: Can I go now?

Horatio: Let me see how should I put this... No!

Det. Frank Tripp : It’s not looking too good Horatio.
Horatio : On the contrary (paused and then puts on his sunglasses), we are going to find her.

Det. Frank : They call it speed dating. Our victim has 15 dates.
Horatio : Well you know what the say Frank (paused and then puts on his sunglasses), speed kills.

Alexx : He died hours before this accident ever happe.
Horatio : So an accident (paused and then puts on his sunglasses), is not an accident at all.

Delko : He might be trying to get our attention.
Horatio : I don’t know (paused and then puts on his sunglasses), but he just got mine.

3) No one puts the sunglasses on better than Horatio, right on cue as well.

I cannot stand Horatio Caine because he is so perasan bagus!!!!!!!! Arrgghhhhh! Rasa macam nak take his sunglasses and then pijak-pijak and buang dalam gaung. And what's with the posing senget every single time?????

Sigh...Horatio, Horatio...what are we going to do with you?

Of Kek Lapis and Lemenet Overdose

Someone told me that “sheep go to heaven and goats go to hell”. I don’t know why he suddenly blurted it out to me. I swear that line was from a song but I can’t remember what song it was. Why indeed do sheep go to heaven and goats go to hell?

Why do people get sick right after Hari Raya? Most of my family members inclusive of hubby (though I think his is more of “demam rindu” than anything else) and my colleagues and friends are having fever and flu, headache and/or cough. Too much unhealthy food you think?

I had a pleasant raya in Kuching.

I’ve never seen so many kek lapis before, in different colours and shapes. I've tasted ALL of them. Cannot resist la. When I see the nice colours and shapes of the cakes, I feel like I just have to taste them. Hehehe...Just don't ask me what they're called coz I don't know. I only know a few like Horlicks Chocolate and Ati Parek.

I also drank this bottled soda drink called “lemenet”. Don’t ask me why it’s called that. I asked hubby and he too doesn’t know. He said everyone called it lemenet since like forever.

Check out the size of the pulut panggang. Giler huge kan? This was taken at Pasar Satok.

Hubby's mom makes the best laksa sarawak. Hubby had polished off 3 big bowls of it!

Another sarawak delicacy. Acar cicah with keropok. I was jakun at first coz usually you cicah keropok with chili sauce but this one cicah with acar. Once I've tried it, I was hooked. It was really good!

Guess what they sell at the shop? Hehehehe...You'd be surprised....

So how was YOUR Hari Raya?

Of Being Together

It’s just 4 more days to Hari Raya and 2 more days before I fly off to Kuching to celebrate Hari Raya with my in-laws. I won’t lie. I’m not looking forward to spend Raya away from my family but Hubby said something to me last night that made me feel a little bit better. He said that he and I are a family now and it doesn’t matter where we spend Raya, be it in Kuching or Sungai Petani, as long as we’re together, that’s all that matters. He’s right. I wouldn’t dream of spending Hari Raya away from him just to be with my family even though I love my family to death. He also told me he understands my reluctance and sadness but I should not let it consume me and stop me from having a good time while I’m there. He said I should not feel guilty if I happen to enjoy my Raya in Kuching because I will be around people who love me and are excited to show me how Sarawakians celebrate Raya. I felt so much better after hearing all that from Hubby. Thanks sweetie.

On another note, I realised I only received 4 Hari Raya cards this year. I received one from my jeweller, one from my dentist, one from my optometrist and one from my ex-uni mate. Wow! Hehehe…I guess it’s good that we’re not sending anymore raya cards because we will save more trees. I know my colleague Nina would be happy that I don’t go around sending raya cards anymore like I did the previous years because she’s such a tree lover and god knows how many trees I’ve killed over the years.

With that, I would like to wish all my wonderful fellow bloggers Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin. Kalau buat open house janganlah lupa jemput I okay :)

Please have a safe journey home to your kampong. Service your car beforehand and make sure you have enough coffee to keep you awake while driving. Or better yet, get plenty of sleep the night before your journey.

Heartbreak Hotel

“If it's a broken part, replace it.

But, if it's a broken arm then brace it.

If it's a broken heart then face it.”

Jason Mraz said those words in his song “Details in the Fabric”. Well, Mr. Mraz, it’s easier said than done. You can’t replace a broken vase that is 100 years old and was passed down to you by your late great-grandmother.

Same goes with a broken heart. You can’t immediately face it. You need time to swallow all the hurt and bury yourself in it before you can even get up again. You need time to make sense of it all, of the hurt you’re feeling and asking yourself how to ever trust another human being with your heart again after this.

Some men take up to a month max to wallow in all that hurt. Usually they will stay cooped up in the house sleeping and maybe crying their eyes out silently of course, and then after a month they’re already out there partying and going out with different girls every night. And they may have forgotten all about their broken hearts. Or maybe not and they’re in denial.

Not so with women though. We take a very, very long time to heal. We go through different phases of healing to mend our hearts. The first phase is the “crying our eyes out”. It’s non-stop morning, noon and night. We only stop crying when we go to sleep, even then I’ve seen some friends sobbing in their sleep after a fight with their bf. I’m amazed at the amount of fluid women have when it comes to crying. I mean we usually don’t eat and drink during those “mourning” period but the tears that come out can fill a whole bucket a day. That’s why women usually loose weight during these periods. I lost almost 30 kilos so I know what I’m talking about. Anything can trigger it off. Sometimes even when we don’t feel like crying, we would still make ourselves cry by listening to those sad love songs. We inflict pain on ourselves to numb the pain that we’re feeling in our heart. Does that make sense to you? We can’t move to the next level until we have cried our hearts out.

The second phase is the “getting rid of all the things that remind us of the bastard”. Oh don’t take offence guys. All men are referred to as “bastards” after a break-up especially if it’s a bad break-up. Throw away all the mixed CDs the bastard has ever made for you, throw or give away all the teddy bears he has given you, tore up all the love letters and birthday and anniversary cards you’ve ever received from him and cut out the bastard’s face from all the pictures of the two of you together and then burn them. Oh don’t get me wrong, the crying still hasn’t stopped of course but all above needs to be done to accelerate the healing process.

The third phase is probably the most effective one to heal a broken heart and a phase that every woman usually goes through. It’s the “calling all your girlfriends and then bitch about the bastard while eating a tub of Baskin and Robbins” phase, even if the break-up is not 100% because of the bastard. Like who cares? It’s good to get it all out in the open. Even the way the bastard chewed his food will be discussed here and bitched about. Nothing is spared. And I mean N.O.T.H.I.N.G. From the top of his head down to his tiny foot thumb. Ahem. Oh we would still be crying our hearts out when we think about how sweet the bastard can be sometimes like cooking our favourite dish and bringing it to our office when we had to work late. The crying will stop immediately and replaced with anger when our girlfriends tell us that there is a possibility that the bastard could be cooking the dish for some other bitches and not just you.

The fourth and the final phase is getting out of bed and thinking it’s not the end of the world, that you’re better off without the bastard and there are other fish in the sea or better men with bigger foot thumb out there for you. It takes a lot of courage and strength to get to this last phase. With the help of family members or a dad who promised to shoot the bastard if he ever sees him and very close and wonderful girlfriends, one will get through this painful experience and move on.

With that experience, women will be more guarded with their feelings and tend to build a wall around them. That is usually why we take a longer time to fall in love. Some women will swear off men for good while some will make it harder for the next man who is trying to court them. In any case, I will tell these women it’s good to be guarded and careful but that is not how we should live for the rest of our lives. When the opportunity to fall in love knocks on your door you should at least peep through the hole on the door. And if you like what you see then open the door a little bit, get to know the person on the other side. After that if you still don’t think he’s the right one then simply chase him out and slam the door shut. Trust me, the door will be knocked on again. In any case, just trust your instinct and have fun. That’s all you can ever do anyway.

S.N.A.K.E. anyone?

Does this look like a S.N.A.K.E to you?

I have lost the will to write

I’ve lost the will to write. I think all my creative juices have been drained out. I’ve got so many stories to tell but I can’t translate them into words. It is so frustrating.

On being away for Raya

It’s the 12th day of Ramadhan and I’ve been receiving several invitations for breaking fast. However, this year I think I shall try to break fast as often as I can at home with my parents and siblings, especially during the weekend, since I won’t be spending Hari Raya with them this year. I’ve already booked our flight tickets to Kuching (Airasia tix cost me RM600 over!!) and it looks like I will be spending Hari Raya with the in-laws and not with my parents for the very first time. I’m sure I will get used to it over time but I guess the first time is always the hardest. I must make sure I stay away from all those sad Raya songs.

On fasting and breaking fast

You know how some people say they will try to loose some weight during the month of Ramadhan? Ain’t never gonna happen I tell you! Unless of course you stay away from all the buffets and pasar ramadhan then maybe you can loose about 1-2 kilos. Maximum would be 5 kilos. The trick is not to eat rice during iftar and sahur but can you actually survive without rice the whole of Ramadhan? Hmmm…I know I can’t.

Have you guys been to any of the pasar ramadhan lately? Everything is so expensive. There’s this one makcik in tmn tun who sells pulut panggang for RM1.50 a piece! Nasib baik sedap but still too expensive I think. My brother bought a piece of ayam percik in Bangsar and it costs him RM6! And it’s not even a big piece. There’s also this popiah stall near the entrance at pasar ramadhan tmn tun where you can see so many people queuing up just to buy the popiah which cost 60 sen a piece. I’ve tasted the popiah and it is nice but not really mind-blowing delicious la but somehow the queue was so long that you’d think it’s the world’s best popiah.

On Cinta

Last night my SIL came over to the house and asked me whether I mind babysitting my 3 month old niece, Cinta. I think she planed to have a romantic night out with my brother after 3 months being cooped up in the house with the baby. The good aunt that I am, I said yes. My SIL assured me that Cinta is a good baby as in she doesn’t wake up so often for feeding, she usually needs feeding at midnight then will sleep throughout the night and then wake up at 6am the next morning for her next feeding. So I thought, “Hey that’s easy peasy”. Boy was I wrong. She ended up waking upat 1am, 4am and 7am for feeding! My goodness! That girl can really drink milk. No wonder she’s so “sihat”. Now I’m in the office and so sleepy. I can hardly get my eyes open. I don’t know how some mothers do it. Especially working mothers. Wait, let me rephrase that. Especially working mothers with lazy husbands who refuse to wake up to feed the baby. Anyhow, since Cinta is such a cute bundle of joy I don’t mind babysitting her again. Even my hubby adores her.

Easy Listening

Songs that you should listen to while driving to work in the morning. It will definitely make you less stressful even though you're stuck in a jam.

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

NKOTB – Summertime

Kate Nash – Merry Happy

The Ting Tings – That’s Not My Name

The Fratellis – Baby Fratelli

Pussycat Dolls – When I Grow Up

Ingrid Michaelson – The Way I Am

Sara Bareilles – Love Song

Oh yeah, you should listen to some of the songs below. I don't have the download link but if you want to listen to them just send me an email and ill forward to you the song. Sharing is caring afterall...hehehe

• Pink Martini - Sympathique
• Antsy Pants - Vampire
• The Zutons - Don't Ever Think
• Fergie - Labels or Love

If you quit, does it make you a loser?

Karen: Tell me, if you were in my position, what would you do?

Harry: What position is that?

Karen: Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace and come Christmas gave it to somebody else...

Karen: Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if worst of all it's a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run?

My friend found out her husband had slept with another woman. When asked why he did it, he answered because he was seduced, that it didn’t mean anything and that he was sorry. My friend cried till there were no more tears left. At one point she blamed God for giving her such “dugaan”. She knows it will be hard trusting him again. So she asked whether she should stay or cut and run.

In the end, she decided to stay in the marriage. After all, quitting are for losers. And she is not a quitter she says.

May God give her strength.

Of This and That...

On “I Wanna Have Boobies”

Have you guys listened to the Pussycat Doll’s new single called “When I Grow Up”? I swear I heard she said, “When I grow up I wanna have BOOBIES”. But I checked the lyrics on the internet and it says “I wanna have GROUPIES”. But I saw their videoclip and when she was saying “I wanna have groupies” she was holding up her boobs. Why? Why would she do that? Hahaha…Damn confusing man. I mean like Nicole Scherzinger needs "more" boobies right?

On The Dark Knight

Oh I’ve watched The Dark Knight last week. Damn good movie. Heath Ledger was phenomenal. I never knew I could hate a villain so much like I hated The Joker. I mean Jack Nicholson as The Joker in the previous Batman movie was a complete sissy compared to Heath Ledger’s portrayal as The Joker. Ledger was disturbing and twisted at the same time. “Why so serious?” indeed! He should get an Oscar right now! Hehehe…However, I did think the movie was a bit too long and some parts were a bit draggy (I’m gonna get killed for saying this, aren’t I?). I guess it’s one of Chris Nolan’s trademarks i.e. his movies must be more than 2 hours long. Remember V for Vendetta?

Good acting by Christian Bale too. I’ve always liked his acting ever since he played the sick and twisted yuppie in The American Psycho. I still remember his famous line from the movie – “I think my mask of sanity is about to slip”. A chilling performance.

On Chick Flicks

So next week my girlfriends and I are set to watch Sex and the City. Hubby dah cakap awal-awal that he will NOT be watching the movie with me. He says it is such a chick flick, too girlie for him. Hellllloooo??!!! It’s not too girlie okay. Pffffttttbbbhhh! Some men just cannot appreciate movies without an elaborate car chase scene, buildings being blown up and people blown up to pieces.

On Hubby Being Away

Hubby is off to Penang from today until Saturday for some teambuilding thingy organised by his office. I already miss him. This morning I had no one to fight with on who should take a shower first. No bumping into him when we’re both busy getting ready in front of the mirror. No morning mail from him. Sigh. I’ll only see him on Sunday because I’m off to Sg. Petani from tomorrow until Sunday with my parents visiting my grandparents.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Of Feeling Lonely...

For some people it is easier to forgive than to forget. But for some, forgetting is a lot easier than forgiving.

Would you forgive someone who said or did something to hurt you even when they didn’t ask for it, out of your own free will?

I think it is easier for me to forgive than to forget. Maybe that is because I am a lawyer and I remember every single details of my life. A curse some may say. When I broke up with my 1st ex for cheating on me (he admitted it few years later after we broke up) I thought I would never forget what he did. I still haven’t. I remembered everything he said to me, the reason he gave for breaking up with me. But slowly I forgave him even though he didn’t ask for my forgiveness until a few years later. I needed to forgive him so I could move on with my life.

Then there was this friend of mine of often said things without thinking. He often shoots off his mouth and you wouldn’t believe the things that came out from his mouth. He thinks that people would be okay with whatever he said just because he said it was a joke. I know some of you would say, “Why don’t you tell him off? Tell him that you don’t think it’s funny and that he was being rude?”

Well I wish it was that simple. You see, people like this will come back and tell you,

“Why are you so uptight? It was just a joke! Can’t you take a joke? Next time I will never joke with you coz obviously you can’t take it! You are so sensitive!”

See how they turn it around and make it look like you’re the one who is over-sensitive and doesn’t have a sense of humour? So when you are around these kinds of people it’s best to stay quiet or better yet don’t be around these kind of people. Your hati tak sakit and you’ll have a peace of mind.

I was listening to this song called “The Heart of The Matter” and I can so relate with the lyrics.

“All the people in your life who've come and gone

They let you down, you know they hurt your pride

Better put it all behind you; cause life goes on

You keep carrying that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I wanna be happily ever after

And my heart is so shattered

But I know it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore…”

On another note, I went to watch “Sepi” last night with hubby. I thought it was a good movie. But somehow “Cinta” was better. Maybe because when I watched “Cinta” I was crying like there’s no tomorrow sampai my sleeves jadik mangsa lelehan airmata and air hidung I. In “Sepi”, I love how the characters came together and how they are connected to each other. I loved Ean-Imaan-Khalil storyline. I thought Baizura Kahar’s and Tony Eusoffe’s acting were superb, although I thought Marya-Sufi storyline was a bit mengarut and corny to the max. Kasut aircond?? Seriously??

What else? Oh yeah, Afdlin was … Afdlin. The character was created for him. I don’t see anyone else playing “Adam”. He was funny yet you can feel his loneliness. I’m sure a lot of people can relate with Adam. Always being invited to weddings but don’t know when you are getting married yourself. Always putting on a tough exterior and making jokes when on the inside it hurts like hell to feel so alone. Yeah, I can relate to Adam.

Anyways, I would still recommend that you watch the movie. Bring some tissue ya. You won’t cry throughout the whole movie but you will definitely cry at some parts. Just be prepared.

Wedding Woes...The Aftermath...

Remember this?

Well, her second husband turns out to be a drunk. He comes home drunk almost every night, harasses the kids in the village and blasts the music loudly during Friday prayers. I head from another aunt that the neighbours are getting really angry with the guy.

My aunt should’ve checked out the guy’s background before marrying him. I know he was the love of her life a long, long time ago but people change. Obviously he was not the same person my aunt fell in love with years ago. Sigh. I pity her kids. Her eldest son doesn’t talk to her and only calls her when he wants his allowance and we suspect that the son is on drugs.

My only concern right now is my aunt and her youngest daughter. If he ever laid his hands on either one of them when he’s drunk, I will personally cut his balls off!

Aku CINTA Sama Kamu!

My husband and I are actively trying to get pregnant. I love kids so much and if I start to think that I may never have one, well it can make me feel really depress. We don't know anything yet for sure but we're seeing a doctor next month just to make sure everything is "working" and there's no problem. Maybe just a matter of "belum ada rezeki lagi"...

Anyway, my SIL just gave birth to her second child last month. I'm telling you, I pity the kid for having such a long name, thanks to my brother of course. I don't know what he was thinking! My 3 year old nephew, Hareez is not very happy with the arrival of his baby sister because he is now no longer an only child. He's so jealous of his baby sister. He refused to lend his baby clothes or his soft toys to his sister.

But I can tell that Hareez is still my brother's favourite. I mean Hareez is really close to his dad. He only sleeps with his dad and only wants his dad to bath him and change him, not his mum. He only goes to his mum when he's hungry.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD MISS MAIZATUL SABREENA CINTA!!!

To Eat Or Not To Eat...Is That The Question?

If you, a muslim go to a restaurant and there’s a sign that says “No Pork Served”, would you still eat at the restaurant? Would you actually go into the restaurant and ask whether they buy halal chicken or lamb or beef?

What about if they cook a dish with alcohol? Are you one of those people who would tell themselves that alcohol evaporate while the dish is being cooked and therefore it’s not “haram” to eat that dish?

What if the restaurant has no halal sign but you see muslims eating food inside the restaurant. Would you go in and eat as well?

Hmmm…

Whooosssshhh!

I received this email from one of my friends today...

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting over lunch and conversation turns to their relationships.They decided that night to surprise their men. All three would wear ablack leather bra and thong, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

A few days later they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over hefound me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather outfit, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex for hours.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He walked in the door, looked at me and said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'

Seriously? I mean it's funny and all but seriously? I mean, if your wife goes through all that trouble for you, wouldn't you at least play along with it? I would love for my husband to dress up as Batman for me. Maybe I'll get that wish on my next birthday :P Haha! You think??!

So what's the most outrageous thing you've ever done?

Insane in the brain! Insane in the membrane!

I don’t know what’s happening to me. Lately I get easily annoyed by remarks or statements made by friends and also my husband. Little things could set me off. There is nothing wrong with my sex life because I have been getting “it”. My workload is okay. I’m glad my boss is not the micro-manage type of person. Seriously, even if I’m stressed at work it’s not caused by my boss but more like the work itself is stressful. Reviewing rules amendments and reading stacks of documents is enough to drive a person insane.

I went to the clinic because I have been having these awful headaches. Sometimes I have to take 2 panadols, twice a day to ease the pain. The doctor checked my blood pressure and she said it’s 150/100! That’s quite high right? Now I’m freaked out. Is my headache a stressed-related one or is it caused by my food intake? I just came back from Penang with my family. So it cannot be that I’m stressed out because I just got back from a holiday!

So what do I do now? Do a full medical check-up? Watch what I eat? Go on another holiday?

Boleh Blah!

I texted a friend a few days ago asking her to go out with me and our other friends and below was her reply,

“I would love to but I can’t la. You know la, lepas dah kawin ni nak pegi mana2 bukannya senang cam masa single dulu. I don’t wanna leave my hubby alone in the house la. Kesian dia. You know right? You pun dah kawin, kan? Dosa tau tinggal-tinggal suami ni. Next time okay”.

Blergh blergh blergh!!!

You think you’re the only woman who is married issit? Like hello!!!!!! Your husband will die if you leave him to go out with your friends issit? You mean you have never left him alone in the house? Before you married him, boleh plak dia duduk sorang2 kat rumah when you went out with us. Tahulah baru kawin 6 bulan! Sheesh!

Malas nak layan! So condescending her text message!

Okaylah, lepas ni I tak keluar mana2 with my friends. Jadik isteri solehah okay! Duduk rumah masak cekodok hari2 :P

p/s : I am married but I don't abandon my friends. I know my limits and I am so thankful that my husband is not the controlling kind. As long as I tell him where I'm going and with who I'm hanging out with, he's okay with it. Sigh...some people!

Mama, you're the Queen of My Heart

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

TO ALL THE WONDERFUL MOTHERS OUT THERE

ESPECIALLY TO MY BELOVED MOMMY!

You taught me everything

And everything you've given me

I always keep it inside

You're the driving force in my life, yeah

There isn't anything

Or anyone that I can be

And it just wouldn't feel right

If I didn't have you by my side

You were there for me to love and care for me

When skies were grey

Whenever I was down

You were always there to comfort me

And no one else can be what you have been to me

You will always be

you always will be the girl In my life for all time

Mama, mama you know I love you

Oh you know I love you Mama

Mama you're the queen of my heart

Your love is like tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know

Lovin' you is like food to my soul

You're always down for me

Have always been around for me even when I was bad

You showed me right from my wrong

Yes you did

And you took up for me

When everyone was downin' me

You always did understand

You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times

Looking back when I was so afraid

And then you come to me

And say to me I can face anything

And no one else can do

What you have done for me

You'll always be

You will always be in my life

Never gonna go a day without you

Fills me up just thinking about you

I'd never go a day without my mama